Transform Tuesday: From Pain to Freedom - A Somatic Journey with Ria Flanagan

Welcome to the season and Self Love Podcast. I am in your host Namibank, saying, I am thrilled to have you joined me on this transformative journey. You see, every day we dive into a powerful conversation about self discovery, healing and empowerment. This podcast is brought to you by ax Naomi and Elevate Me Self Discovery or we believe that loving yourself is the first step to live in a fulfilling life. You can expectsightful discussions, practical tips, and inspiring stories. Plus we are occasionally welcome special guests who will share their unique perspectives on self love and personal park. So get comfy, grab your favorite beverage, and let's embark on this journey together. Because it's time to embrace the beautiful person that you are. So let's elevate our lives one episode of time. Now, let's get started. All right, my beautiful people, Well, welcome to this season love your daily dose of inspiration and growth. I am your host, Noamie Banks, and as we explore our journey of letting go, we have a very powerful guest who guys people from trauma to freedom through deep understanding and somatic killing. Rea fled again. Her trauma specialists and author of Happiness Is An Inside Job Playbook joins us to share how we can release what no longer serves us and step into our freedom. But before we bring Miss Rhea to the stage, let's take a quick break. All right, it's your gurtty goddess, Namy Banks here on this Season and Stephaler podcast, and we'll be right back. Washington wells into two focuses on healing. Always for me, if I look good, then I feel good. If I feel good, then I share the good. If I share the good, then I celebrate the good. If I celebrate the good, then I live the good. So I can be paid to be migrative. But I have to learn the good to be the good. So what does it take to be the greatest. It's as simple as a free, fifteen minute consultation, be kind to yourself. You'll all ways all right? Well, welcome back to the Season and Stuff Love Podcast. I am your host, Namibanks, and I am here with the beautiful Miss Rhea Flan again. Hi, Hi, Sorry about that. That's our I am very grateful to be on your show and I look forward to our conversation that's been actually the gift of writing a book and publishing. It is actually meeting people that I you know, all across America and even the world that you know may not have met and had some great conversations, and it's been a blessing for sure. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. But before we get into this topic and talk about your book and everything that you have to offer, what we do every day here on a Season of stelf Love is that we do a nice little guided meditation first, just to help ground us before we get into the topic of right, So a little centers ourselves for our daily meditation. All right, find your. Comfortable space, take a deeper than center in yourself. Now feel where you hold tension, where you carry old stories, and where you ready for release. Breathe into those spaces, into possibilities, into freedom. Now feel your body's wisdom and its capacity to him and it's power to transform. Now take one final deep breath then bringing this awareness forward and ready to explore. And release. And when you are. Ready, please open your eyes. It's my beautiful people. Well, if you are new here too the season and Stephflo podcast, it's something that we do every day here Monday through Friday. It's just to help ground us again before we get into the top of the hand. Today we are talking about from pain to Freedom. We have the beautiful Miss Rea Flannagan here with us today and Miss you know what we did this topic. We did a whole month series on healing beyond betrayal. And when I read that this is something that you do, is do you help people they heal beyond betrayal and the trauma and stuff like that, I thought this would be truly great for this series in March. This year is all about the rebirth, and so we wanted to kind of have a new way of living, or actually a new way of letting go. Instead of us always talking about betrayal and healing beyond it, let's talk about letting go. And I think that you would be idea for this. Now you do you offer a three day empowerment workshop that takes people from pain to freedom. What's the first step to that journey? The first step is understanding how trauma stays in the body and how sometimes what may look like a paper cut right like like Dad wasn't home a lot, is actually the body covered in paper cuts because Dad was really not home daily, daily, daily, right, So it's understanding that sometimes it's about the lack of right, not just what happened, because sometimes that's more obvious. You know, somebody hit me, somebody, you know, it's sexually be something happened, right motion, whatever it was. But there's also the abandonment, the abandonment of the caregivers, right, the or or a spouse or you know, some an adult. But we typically start from childhood because a lot of times there's a setup, right, So if we had a setup of abandonment of people that were abusive. We tend to, as human beings, attract what we know or what's familiar subconsciously obviously because you're not like, oh I want to go get hurt in my future. I know I had enough pain in my past. But there's tends to be a draw to something familiar. And even if it's you know, a sheep and wolf's you know, a wolf in sheep's clothing. Sorry, it tends to you know, it tends to come back. And so if it isn't resolved, and so part of it is starting to unearth where did this first start? Where did the where you know, what was the first thing and what were the beliefs about self that came from whatever the trauma's worth. And really these beliefs are created five years old, really young, right into teenage years, and then they're repeated because anytime something reminds that person of I'm not good enough or I'm not lovable or you know, they go check, Oh it's true, see it's yeah, And so their perception is right through this belief. Right, It's like wearing these glasses that are like, I'm not good enough, and so I see right then everywhere that proves that I'm not good enough and every failure I've had, and it becomes so ingrained. And so we're breaking patterns, we're addressing them, we're getting mindful about them, and then we do experiential work to move it out. So it's not just cognitive, it's in the body. We've got to move these things out, applying different techniques, costulls, psychodrama, different ways to really actively participate in a new narrative. Yeah, and releasing right giving bad carriage shame because a lot of times as victims we're holding the shame of the perpetrator. I love that. So let me ask you this, how does work has the systematic work work help in releasing the trauma. Yes, absolutely so. There's a lot of modalities that are used in evidence based now and really research EMDR is one of them. But a somatic experience. Again, been around forty years doctor Peter Levine's work, and that's really starting to understand how the nervous system, our fight, flight, freeze response to trauma, right, gets embedded and then in our bodies, stored in our body and when there's a trigger of something that reminds us, right, and it could be something reminds us of that time we felt like, you know, we weren't good enough or we weren't lovable, right, and then all of a sudden, our body goes kind of into this big reaction, a fight. I call it like a trigger. So a way to describe that is if we're feeling like between zero to ten, we go straight to ten. That's a trigger, right, means we jumped outside of our prefrontal cortex and we went right into the nervous system. It was like, I feel like I've got to run from the tiger, but there's no tiger right right, But why Because it's reminding us of a time that something happened that did was maybe a tiger right, was abusive, was really dangerous, and so our body goes back into either fight, fight or freeze response. And so you've heard maybe the saying like if we're hysterical, it's historical. So we're looking at that and we're starting to like go to those those places, those those wounds and then starting to to you know, starting to release right, doing different techniques to help release address some of the narrative, writing, breath work, body work, and with a big thing Doctor Peter Levine's famous for his pendulation, So we work with the nervous system. We're really trained on like noticing right where the body is. Some sometimes I even in my coaching practice, I do touch work with my workshops. It depends on the person. Some people aren't appropriate for that right. Some people it is the thing that like helps release right because a lot of times if we have trauma when we're a baby that is like nonverbal, there's not the words to work that out right, and so sometimes it's doing work of like holding the neck in the head. It it's like helping them to like release this this trauma that happened before they had words, because how do you work it out or process it If you don't have words, work, touch work is really powerful, and se does. I also did base training with Dave Berger, who is a PT and MFT and an SC instructor, and so it's this combination, right of figuring out first the person what's going to work for them. Everybody's different, So I also tailor my workshops to the person. And so, yeah, but there's a lot of techniques. Unfortunately, talk therapy isn't going to do it right. We can tell our story and our trauma and over and over and it can still live in our body. Right, So let's do this. Let's go back, Let's go back. Let's go back on how did real start this? How did you come about becoming a trauma specialist or a coach or you know. How did you start I definitely had my own traumas that from childhood, and so that was a big part of you know, me finding ways to heal myself and figure out you know, you know, I think in the beginning, I thought, oh, you know, I survived, I'm good, everything's fine, right, and then those things started to come back and haunt me. Right. I started to find patterns right that were replicating unhealthy, you know, dysfunctional family patterns, different things, and I started to go, okay, like like, I'm a smart girl. You know, I'm a smart girl, So why is this happening to me? So then I started doing the research and learning, and then I really you know, I got my master's in marriage and family therapy. I wanted to heal. I wanted to know how do I have a healthy family? But if I didn't have a lot of modeling for that. So I learned, I educated myself, and then I did my own therapy, and then I did my own you know, and I kept and I still do training all the time, always working on myself too, because I really believe, as a practitioner, we can only take somebody as far as we're willing to go right in our own work. So I believe very deeply in that. And so through that right, I've managed to have a happy marriage and two beautiful children, and write and run a private practice, and get a doctorate which I'm working on now, and write and publish a book. Because I did that work not just you know, not just It wasn't random, It was a lot of hard work. And so I also I went through a workshop actually created by p Melody in The Meadows called Survivors. When I worked at the Meadows as a clinician and patient treatment, I worked there and they let all the counselors go through because all our clients do it. And that was when I really first got a taste of the experiential work and WHI which is that mind body like soul connection work. And I was like this changed me, It really changed me. And I had a lot of healing from that and then just other you know, other modalities along the way, you know, doing different workshops and then kind of creating you know, from those my own. And so I really want to give back because that was a huge breakthrough for me. Yeah yeah, Now what now what does the role of the body play in letting go? Because I know for me, I hold a lot of I used to hold a lot of tension in my body to where when I have anxiety attacks, my whole body used to shut all the way down and all I can do is here, like I couldn't see anything here. My body was steeped. Yeah. Yeah, And so if you think about whatever it was that you know that created sort of that foundation and and we know like some of these things right are biological. Right, we can get into intergenerational trauma. I mean we can we can go all the way right back in history or maybe something in childhood or as a baby that happened right that gets triggered or reminds you of something. And then the body, like especially when we get into the panic attack, but that's really going towards like the fight flight, but like freeze almost right, because you're freezing a little, it feels like I can't move. And so if you think about how the body is amazing, right, it really is a miracle what the body does. And so when we're being attacked, right, so say we were running from a tiger. We're gonna have fight fighters, so we're gonna have the adrenaline to run away. But when our body, like something goes and it's not up here, it's not in the prefrontal cortex. It's not cognitive. It's more of that like instinct sensory stuff. It's like the tiger is going to catch me, right, and so then your body knows your brain are not working at this point, you're just running right, and then your your body sense is that it's over like this I'm gonna get eaten freeze. And what that does is it shuts everything down, so you're not gonna feel it. Hmm. So a lot of times when a survivor, for example, somebody that survived rape may have this like shame. Then this is really common, like, oh, like I didn't fight back, Well, probably because your body was frozen, right, your body was doing if your body sensed that this person is too big, right, and I don't have that, like it just goes in a freeze. It's not something we decide, it's it's really more right at that instant level. And so and that was what protected them. And so they might you know, not remember it clearly even or you know, they kind of associate, but then they feel bad because you know, why didn't I fight or why didn't I do this? It's like, well, actually, your body was trying to protect you, right from feeling, from remembering from all of that. So so I hear a lot too childhood traumas, like I sort of didn't remember and then all of a sudden something happened. I started having these memories, you know, and it's like, yeah, because your body was trying to protect you. Wow. So it's just a different way to start understanding and learning about the body and how the nervous system is there to protect us, and and how maybe some of those reactions and things that we did they weren't They weren't decisions we made. The body was trying to just do what it had to do. Right. Think about animals in nature, right, they have a lot of instincts that are just there, they're just born with them. We have that too with our nervous system. So though, right, if we don't have a tiger chasing us, now, that's not healthful. And that's where I really educate people around. If you're having triggers where you're having panic, you're having these different things, work with a trauma specialists, work with someone that works with these different types of modalities that can help you work that out of your body, because it's not helpful anymore. Right, may help you in that moment that it actually you were running from the time or the perpetrator, whoever was the attacker. But now it's just like repeating patterns, right, It's kind of I describe if you were to, like on a whiteboard, I'll draw a big rock right, and I'll draw a river right, and we're going down the river. This is like sort of our library down the river, and there's ups and downs and we're fluid and we're flowing, and then all of a sudden, the trauma happens and it's like that big rock. Right, instead of just like going around it, we start circling. It starts circling. And so when you're circling that, that's that's that trauma reaction, that's that trauma state. And so until we sort of go in with a modality, right, a trauma specialty, we break that up so the person can then move through it. It doesn't mean that it's not still like wow, that was awful that happened, but it gets to a place where I can emotionally like cope and I can move past. It doesn't ruin my day. I don't get triggered by it anymore. And it's really amazing like doing that work and seeing people go from like a ten to like we're doing MDR. We're doing something, they're all like, oh my god, Like I don't even like I can't even stay with the memory now, Like it's not that I don't remember, it's just not it's not like holding me the way at did before, right? You know when you say that, because the usually when I like have these anxiety or panic attacks, it usually happened with something new, new and great is getting ready to happen in my life. It's always why I'm laughing because I think about it when when I was pregnant, When I was I was on barrass with my second baby, my second and my third baby. The whole entire time I was having an anxiety Atteckon. It was something new that was happening in my life that was great, but it was something new that was changing. And I think that the last time something was happening is when I was retiring from the industry and starting a new business being a fashion designer from there, and then it was happening and I was like, what the heck is happening? Otherwise it never happened anytime. It was just during those times when something new and unknown to me that was happening. You understand, yeah too, Like it's interesting from a nervous again, going back to that nervous system, is excitement can mimic fear? Oh yeah, body actually like processes excitement and fear the same way. So and transition and newness right the unknown that can bring fear right even if it's good, like even if it's good, and so you know that that's a big thing. So when good things are happening, people can can go through a lot of stress too, because especially you know if it's even if it's a lot of money or write a big promotion or whatever, there can be just that stress of the unknown and what does this mean? And you know who am I now? And big big stress can kind of really good things too, just like the excitement to can mimic the fear response. Well you know what that is? That just knowing that is that's crazy and why I say that is so crazy. Just last year we were just getting off we read change Your Paradigm, Change Your Life by Bob Parcter, And you know how you hold on to certain bad habits and certain things that you hold on to, and knowing that you get ready to have a great change in your life, something different and something that's something that you want that excitement for. And I think through my through learning all of this, just even through my healing process, just of life period, it's like, wow, when something new is happening, you are so unsure on what's happening. You so familiar of the old, you unsure of the new. So it puts you in that fear. But then he also says about the ignorance. We all are ignorant at a certain point of life that we don't know. And I remember at the end of the year, I remember saying, I will no longer live in ignorance. I no longer and like I just released it, you know, release it from out and looking forward to just the new. And that's why I pin this whole year to being the year of the rebirth, to be reborn again, just in the newness of everything. Yeah, yeah, I love that. I love that, and I think it's interesting too. So I see is a lot of pendulation. And so sometimes, like when I'm working with the clients that have the newness coming, I also talk about like like pendulating it right, like like like stepping into it right, like like putting your foot, your feet in the water, right and then slowly, you know, slowly easing in and getting that temperature. And if you can create that in any way, it's helpful because if you think about it, if you jump into that cold water, right, you might go into that shop, right, you might because you didn't acclimate. And the human beings again, we seek the familiar, Yeah, we seek that. And so when things are big changes, it can create a lot of what you're discussing, you're you're sharing right with and for a lot of people. And so even if someone wins, like a huge contest things like that, sometimes like it's followed by a stroke or right like these hard like a physiological symptoms. Right, So so there is that piece of like really easing into that newness and allowing some types of transition. Even when I built my practice, I was working somewhere else, So I was slowly building and that felt safe because I had a little kid, you know, and I didn't want to not you know, because people say, oh, leap and have courage, and I'm like, sometimes it's actually like have a good strategy, you know, and go slow. You know. It's so funny because I always say, I was a sprinter in high school. In college, I was a runner. I was a sprinter. Now I'm running my marathon. I'm a long distance runner. Now I'm no longer a sprinter. There you go, I'm no longer a sprinter. But that is how I live my life. I used to be a jumper. I would jump ahead board just in and just swimming. I taught myself how to swim like I'm in a deep I can relate, I can relate. I will say I can relate, you know. And I'm just learning still. But I'm learning how to go slower as I get older, too. My my nervous system doesn't support that as much as it used to. That's true too, right, Like we could. Dive right in when we're young, and then we get older we're like, well, maybe I just put my foot in right here, So it could be it could be having grace and giving yourself some you know, giving yourself some space with it too. Yeah, And it's it's you know, honestly, when I when I especially when I talk to my daughters, and even when I talk here on the podcast, and it is fun just to look back and just see how the youthfulness of you were and didn't you even look at the wisdom of now of how we are now, you know, I'm fifty two years old, and so it's like the wisdom of it all, Like everything that I've been through in life, every journey, every decision and choice that I made in life, I am so happy and grateful for each and every one of them because it's built who I am and my character and who I am When I have been able to build this platform without going through those things, you understand, and so for that much, man, I love it, I wouldn't have been able to meet you, you know. Yeah. The rest the resilience, right, that comes from the struggle, the you know, whatever it is, the ups and the downs, it's you know, it's all part of who we are. And exactly like the gratitude for all of it is, it's right at what I put in my book at the very beginning, right, I'm grateful for all of it, that the heartbreakers, right, the all of it, because it's all part of who I am. If you take anything away, then I'm not me, right and you're not you. So yeah, So now let's talk about healing relationships. The tuck about that. So you work with betrayal trauma that involves deep letting go. How do you guide couples through this process. One of the ways that I've found, actually, you know, to be really helpful is have each of them go through the Empowerment workshop, which is the childhood trauma, right workshop, and really figure out what those beliefs were, what the patterns are, how the two of them have kind of what happens a lot of times we sort of connected through our wounds unconsciously, and then we're thinking, that person's supposed to heal us, right, and that's just not true. Right, that's the first first belief we got to get rid of that, and then starting to realize that this person might actually be sort of the mirror of that. And so how do I start to take, you know, to take that away, that responsibility I put on them away from them, that they're not there to heal me, that I'm responsible for healing me, which is empowering. It's empowering that I'm the one doing it, not not my spouse. Right, they can coregulate and be part of it, be a solid foundation and be part of that, you know, partnership. But they're not the healer of us. We are the healer of us, right, And I'm really guiding people through that. And once both I find that, once the couple, right, if they've both been through it, and then they start to like share and relate and understand, Oh, I was projecting on you this and I was projecting this onto that's not yours. Right, It starts they have this this language and this ability to relate to each other from a more compassionate place, like I see why you're that way, right, starting to share this is sort of my setup, and now I understand it, and now I don't have to like keep going through this pattern with you, right that we get locked into, and so you know it just it. Really, I have found that to be one of the one of the best tools to first do that with them, because it is this sort of inside job. First, before we can truly like heal and work within a couple, we have to do that work ourselves. Yeah, yeah, I love that. I love that. So now let's talk about what role does forgiveness play and releasing. Oh my gosh, I mean, forgiveness is everything and I work right with trauma addictions. So the very first step for all of us, right is forgiving ourselves, yes, right, just forgiving ourselves whatever it was, you know, whatever we did when we didn't know or you know, we were ignorant or we you know, hadn't learned a better way. Let go and forget. Start there, and then the next piece is start to look out why am I? Why am I in that energy of unforgiveness in my life? Because that is a toxic place when we're holding resentment, when we're holding that unforg giveness, it's it's a poison, really, And so when we start realizing I can have boundaries, I can not allow that person to hurt me again, and I can forgive them. So I'm not carrying the weight of that anymore. Yeah, Yeah, I. Think that's so real and and just challenging. In my book, I talk with that, and I have an activity around just notice where you're maybe ready to forgive someone, maybe where you're still thinking about if you're gonna get ready, right, and maybe where you're not ready. And that's okay too, because we don't want to do this this spiritual bypassing type of like like uh, fake forgiveness, like fake forgiveness like oh, I just I forgive, I'm good, Like, No, that's not real. You got to process it, you got to think about you've got to allow the emotions. You've got to heal it. Yeah, right before we can really let oh, we've got to heal and accept that. Yes that was hurtful, Yes I was that broke my heart and I feel a lot of pain and whatever it is, and so that you can process through it, and because otherwise it's kind of a toxic forgiveness or someone's forcing you to forgive. It's like, no, that's not real, Like I got to really do my workerund it and let it go. Yeah. A couple of months ago I had this guest one and she was about forgiveness. She came on about forgiveness and she talked about forgiving the energy around the action, and it was something that I never thought about. I never it was like when once she said it like hit it right on the head for me, I was like, oh my god, you are so correct, and we don't do that. I mean a lot of people don't do that now for you, is that something that you agree upon? The energy around the action? Yeah, I'm trying to like tell me more. Like the energy. So I don't know. I'm a very spiritual person, and I believe that even in intentions and energy, it all comes away. So just say, for instance, like you said, you know, well, I forgive you for what you've done. You know, I forgive you. But when you say you know I forgive you, and the energy around it that means the intentions of what we my attentions is truly to truly forgive you, to forgive what had happened, the feelings that I have around it, you know, that whole energy that had came upon. So yeah, embracing the whole situation. Yeah, yeah, I think that there's an acceptance too maybe around that, at least like my perception of that is, when we're forgiving all that, there's also maybe this like piece I don't know when I sort of like think about the big picture is and I sort of talk about this with clients. It's like, well, what happened to them? Right? When somebody is hurting people, they've been hurt, right, And so there's this piece of like I can have even compassion for someone that's hurt me because I get that that's not their authentic self, that it's not their best, Like I get that, right, And so there is that piece of like all of it, and also like to this place of like I really I get that I'm not gonna let you do it again, right, like I got my I got my boundaries, and maybe we don't even talk again. But but there is this piece about I get that like I don't think anybody comes into this world or whatever like I'm gonna go hurt people that. I don't think that is a place for most people. So again, yeah, no I can, I can relate to that. I think there is this all encompassing and we're there's also looking at the culture, right, there's some toxicity for sure in our world. In our culture, we do not have peace on earth, right, and and so we're navigating a toxic culture. Yes, I totally agree with that. What does a deeper intimacy look like? At the release. More vulnerability? Right? I think when when partners, especially with betrayal and things like that, there's a lot of trust lost. It has to get game back. There has to be things, boundaries and things in place to feel safe in that relationship. But as time and through processes, what I see is again the walls coming down, having healthy boundaries. So it's not I'm not, you know, just accepting bad behavior again, but also of vulnerability again an openness, right, so they can can connect in a new dance in a new way. So let's talk about practical tools, questions for action insights, what somatic practices can listeners start using today? I think that One of my favorite pieces, right is if there's a like a memory and there's shame or fear still attached or pain still attached, is identifying where it is in the body. And even so inn see, the practitioner will lead you through. So I always reck commend getting a practitioner because it's hard to guide yourself, right, especially around trauma, because we're so freeze, we're so caught and freeze. But even getting even just I'll do it with clients, but I'll tell them to practice it at home. Right, I'll be like, if you're if that feeling comes up, if you're feeling guilt, shame, pain, right, and it feels old, it feels carried, like you've been dragging this around with you, be with it in your body, right, take a deep breath in so do this with me. Maybe find a memory, find just something that still feels a little like I still got a process, and just notice the like, notice how big it is when you when you when you let it sit there, you know, because it's something that you probably you know, come over and over through the years. Right, Oh, I still feel bad when I think of that, right, So notice where it is in your body? How big is it right? Like, notice the parameter around it? Notice is it heavy? Is it light? Is it you know? Is it does it have a texture a color? Like really break it down, like get a visual, get a you know, is there a memory? Is there words around it? Is there a visual? Right? And then there's this piece of breathing in and then slowly like you're moving through clay, breathing in and then slowly bringing out and picture like you're pulling it or whatever it is for you. You kind of go, what do I want to do with that thing? Do I want to throw it? Do I want to pull it out? Do I want you know? Do I want to push it out first? And then whatever that like instinct was take a deep breath in and then slowly like you're moving through clay, do that gesture. It's like you're giving it back, giving it back. You're going, I'm not carrying that anymore. I'm not carrying that anymore. That's not mine. That's old, right, and intentionally moving it out through the breath. But it's it's pieces. And so because there's a lot of energy around it, we tend to need a guide, or we tend even if you're just watching someone do it and doing it with them. Right, So it's the deep breath in, breathe into the air and then slowly and for some right, it might be giving up to your higher power, like I don't want to carry this, please take this for you. Right, it could be whatever it is that's supportive for you. Right, could be throwing into the universe, throw it into the pit of the earth to burn. Right, I don't want to carry this, give it back to the perpetrator so they can feel the shame and the guilt that was theirs, so they can learn humility, humanity, and containment. Because right that the victim wasn't the one that need to learn that, right, So we don't need to. That's toxic shame, that's their shame. Right, So you give it back. So there are physical processes. Again, I always encourage get a guide because it's hard when you're the one that's sort of frozen and it's hard to think through it. Right, you need someone that kind of go through it. But again, watch a video whatever it is. But then it's something you can practice, right and as you move it out, people tend to say, I feel lighter, that feels now, I feel better now, I love that. I love that. So how can we recognize when our body is holding on to something? How can our listeners recognize when their body is holding on to something? So think about like the physiological sensations when you feel like you need to run, you feel like you need to fight, like you know, all of a sudden, like your spousal part or whoever, right is just like, what are you upset about it? I was just watching the football and what do you I don't even know what you're saying right now, and you're just like, I got it, we got to talk right now, and you just all of a sudden you gotta fight, Right, It's like whoa what? WHOA? Where'd that come from? Right? So that tells us, right, there's something bigger going on. My reaction is out of ten. And there wasn't a thing that warranted that. There wasn't a tiger in the room, right, So it's that really high arousal level, right. And or if you feel frozen, if you felt super rousing, then you just feel kind of like I can't move, I can't think, right. It's those kind of indicators. Let you know, Okay, I've got some trauma to work out. I need to have sort of a coach or someone to help me move this out of my body and address it, because it really I really have seen, right, people that haven't treated their trauma over the years start having a lot of physical issues. This is really something gobraamtes. The Myth of Normal is a great book, and they have a lot of documentation and research supporting this. Now. So when we're looking at people that have sort of the people pleasers is a great example. They're always Okay, I'm not gonna take care of myself. I'm just gonna please everybody else until I dropped it, you know, like you know, because we can't. It's not realistic. We've got to take care of ourselves. We've got to make space for ourselves. We've got to do the healing for ourselves. We can't be healing other people when we're not well. So true, so true, so so true. So let's talk about sustainable freedom. Let's talk about moving forward. How does your Happiness playbook support ongoing releases? The biggest piece is that is the daily practices. Is this routine, is this commitment to not abandoning yourself? Right? May you know? Peter Levina says, we've all been abandoned in some ways. So part of showing up right, this workbook is something I created a course for my during COVID. They all had justsregulated nervous systems. And when I realize is the wait, this is good for everyday life. This is just during COVID. This is we all need that routine. Right, that's showing up that that getting connected, getting grounded, being centered in our body because we make the best decisions that have the most clarity when we're calm, when we're confident, when we're relaxed, when we're when we're in our authentic self. Yes, right, And so these daily practices be at meditation, gratitude, setting intentions, right, like these breath pieces, these you know, these you know, letting go, like we're talking about let go of stuff that doesn't serve me anymore. Like, right, I want to be in my best life. I can't be weighed down by the past. And so being really conscious though and processing things out. There's a lot of activities that come with the teachings in there that people can bring into their life. And then there's like forty one different tools. So it's it's you don't need forty one you pick five, right, it could change your life. Right you start walking every day, mindfulness walking, You start meditating every day, start doing yoga every day. That can change your life. There's three things beautiful. Now do you have a podcast? Right? I do? I do Happiness Playbook Series, And I created it after I wrote and published my book Happiness and Inside Job Playbook because I wanted to get it out there. And then it really just became about these awesome conversation conversations, connections with other like minded people that are trying to help people, and then bringing that to the community that I built. And now that's kind of what I'm focusing on and hoping that you know, something comes from it and the next steps will be shown to me, because I think I'm in transition even with this right, Like right, even as we write a book and publish it and do a we're in transition. We're creating something new. So I can't tell you where it's gonna go or what's gonna happen, but I feel still called to be doing it. So is that is that what it's like for you also doing this podcast? Yes, it is. It's been it's been so transformative, Like it it really has. It's been an amazing journey. I've been able to meet a lot of great, great people, human beings, my sole partners, teammates is what I call, and my teammates truly, every guest has become this is the home. This is I just said, we all teammates. You were a part of my team. We're teammates here because I believe we all have a common ground is serving one another and making this world a better place for us all. Really we are. We all have a different language, and we're just trying to speak our language that someone else can hear, you know, period, And that's what it's all about. Yeah, that's yeah. Yeah. I think that with everything we've been through since COVID and all of that, I think there has been this calling to people that are like minded to join forces in one way or another to just help, right, like whatever that looks like and whatever our part is, right, I think it's really special and it's been really really eye opening too. I'm just you know, I love learning. I'm a lifelong learner. I never intend to stop. And yeah, and so this has been a great education itself as well. So I'm just super grateful. It's so great to meet you and be part of this with you today. Thank you. It's it's it's been an honor. It's been truly. So let me say this. I love when you said early on that not only have you you know, you've went through therapy yourself, even through you know, because that's one thing that you you you rarely hear from someone of your statue that knows that, No, I need to go through the work as well, so I know make sure that I'm at least guiding them the right way, that I know the techniques that I'm teaching them, that I've went through them as well. And I love that. I love that because that tells me that you're on the ground floor right along with your clients. You know. Yeah, I'm not here right, I'm just I'm just like, Hey, I did this at work for me. I got education too. I can share and hold space. And I think I think it is about holding space, yes, you know it, because again it's teaching someone how to come back into themselves, into their intuition, into their inner healing, right, because we can't fix anyone else. That's not a thing. And so really what it is is holding space, guiding right, giving tools if that person is going to pick up those tools are not as up to them. We can't make anyone. We can't We can't change or make anybody change. Exactly exactly exactly well, well cannot listeners connect with your work, YouTube. Spotify, a bunch of other podcast places, but those are some main ones. And it's Happiness Playbook series. My website is ww dot rise r I s e up up, Recover r e c O V e r A z dot com, Rise up, recoveraz dot com as an Arizona and yeah, and you can check out the workshops, my course, my book Happiness Since I Job Playbooks on Amazon, Barnes and Noble. Check it out Daily practices. It is, You're good. It's also really beautiful. I had illustrators and different photograph It's really really visual. So I'm a visual learner, so if you're also a visual learner, it will pull you in. There's a lot of a lot of that and then a lot of other resources, so if you're a coach, if you're a therapist. It is the book that I wish I had when I first started. I wish someone had handed me this book because it's full of resources and other things to give clients, and my other therapist friends have been using a their clients, so that I'm grateful for that, and so please check it out. It's helpful and I hope that it helps. You, beautiful. Do you have any final wisdom about your journey from pain to freedom? I think that it's it's a practice. It continues, right, Like I like, I'll pull back the layers so that there's another thing. And I'm like, and that's okay, that's okay. It's part of the journey. Yes, that evolution, right, I don't want to stop evolving. Yes, I love that. I love that. I truly do love that. Again, thank you, Ria, thank you so much. Thank you, And to my listeners out there, I want to thank you all for just continue to support and just tuning in here every day here too this Season and Self Love, and thank you just for showing how to release with the wisdom and just stepping forward. This is Naomi Banks here and you are listening to this Season and Self Love to have a good one. Thank you, Thank you for joining us on this journey of discovering and empowerment here at the Season and Self Love Podcast. Remember, embracing self love is a continuous journey and we're so glad to have you with us. So if you enjoy it today's episode, please leave us a review and don't forget to join our community on Facebook at Season and self Love connect with like minded individuals who are also on their self love journey. Now, if you have any questions are topics that you'd like for us to explore, we love to hear from you. Email us at Season ourself Love at gmail dot com and let your voice be heard. So until the next time, take a moment for yourself today and remember you are worthy of love, joy and all the beautiful things that life has to offer you. Have a go