The Power of Service and Community with Jamie Lerner | Wisdom Wednesday

What if the secret to loving yourself was actually found in loving others. What if giving back was in just about service, it was about recognizing that you're a part. Of something greater. Well, today we are diving into a conversation about community connection and how showing up authentically for others is actually one of the most powerful acts of self love that you can practice. I am now Imbanks and. You're listening to the Season and Self Love But today on Wisdom Winesday, and I'm joined by Jamie Lerner. She's a culture connector and an advocate for living in alignment with your purpose. We're talking about why. You have to love yourself before you can truly serve others, and how service becomes a natural extension of who you are when you are rooted in that self love. This conversation is going to shift something in you, so let's get into it. Welcome to the Season and Self Love Podcast. I am your host, Namibanks, and I am thrilled to have you join me on this transformative journey. You see every day we dive into a powerful conversation about self discovery, healing, and empowerment. This podcast is brought to you by ax Naomi and elevate me self discovery. What we believe that loving yourself is the first step to live in a fulfilling life. You can expect. Insightful discussions, practical tips, and inspiring stories. Plus were occasionally welcome special guests. Who will share their unique perspectives on self love and personal growth. So get comfy, grab your favorite beverage, and let's embark on this journey together. Because it's time to embrace the beautiful person that you are. So let's elevate our lives one episode of time. Now, let's get started, all right, my dad for people, welcome back too. This season a self love podcast. Today is Wisdom Wednesday, and I'm your host, Nami Banks. I'm so honored to have you here with me today as we dive into this topic that is truly embodies the heart of this podcast, and that's community connection in the. Transformative power of service. This month, our theme is about giving back and I chose this thing because giving is an expression of love not just to others, but to ourselves. So when we show up for our community, we remind ourselves that we are a part of something greater and that we matter and that our presence can create ripples of change. Well, today I am joyed by someone who radiates warmth, compassion, and wisdom, and that's Jamie Lerner. Jamie is a coach, a connector, and a lifelong advocate of living from a place of alignment and purpose. She brings a beautiful perspective of how community service becomes an extension of self love and soul alignment. But before we bring Jamie to the stage, let's take a quick break. All right, it's gurty God is number said on the Season and Stuffalo podcast, and we'll be right back. Washington wells into two focuses on healing. Always for me, if I look good, then I feel good. If I feel good, then I share the good. If I share the good, then I celebrate the good. If I celebrate the good, then I live the good. So I can be paid to be my greatest. But I have to learn the good to be the good. So what does it take to be the greatest? It's as simple as a free fifteen minute consultation. Be kind to yourself and you'll always. Hey instragrade, you got it now me banks. It makes sure you tune in every three Thursday ninety exp podcast. We'll be talking about everything. You love, sex, relationship, coastal differences and so much nor by bridging the gap between them all. And we even talk about this pas listening, you need to stop by mean dot commcock as well as the BTG three. So you have some amazing gifts. But you never know. Just make sure you tune me at Thursday nice six pm sixty cent of times go to exsdam dot com. In telemamis. All right, but welcome back. Well, welcome miss Jamie Lerner her are you? I am great? Thank you so much for inviting me. I'm excited about this conversation. You know, November is all about giving back and that's something that we truly love to do here on the season and stuff love. But before we get into this topic, I want to. Do ground ourselves. We ground ourselves before we get into the topic. All right, so my listeners, you know what we do. If you all could just get into a comfortable position right now and just close your eyes for a moment, Begin with a deep breath. Then take a deep breath in now, release. Now again in hell, compassion and exhale resistance. Now I want you to imagine yourself surrounded by light, a gentle golden light that wraps around you and flows from your heart into the world. Want you to visualize yourself offering support. Kindness, or even just. A smile to someone in your community. See through the ripple effect of your love as it moved through others. You are in love with your action. You are a vessel of service. You are enough. Now take one more deep breath and gently open your eyes and come back into this space. All right, my beautiful people. Again, if you are new here to the Season and Stephala podcast, it is something we do every day Monday, Thay, Friday. Just they have ground us before we get into the topic. Can head all right? Today we're talking about the power of service, of giving back. Miss Jamie. Let's talk about the importance of giving back and what did that truly mean? So I would love to start up with your personal journey. So what experience awakened you to the importance of giving back? Well, I was actually raised in a home where that was pretty much the foundation of what we did. My parents were amazing people. Our home is always filled with people from all over the world, and the message that we always got from them is that any experience that we were having if we could extend that to anyone else who was within our family at the time or who was coming to visit us, then we actually were enriching ourselves. So they really thought in terms of endless possibilities for everybody. The motto is if there's a will, there's a way, and we were brought up to feel that it is a privilege to be of service to us. So that was really wonderful. You know, that's beautiful because a lot of people don't learn that. You know, that's something my grandmothers, both of my grandmothers, I called their homes revolving door because they've raised children that were not theirs. That was from their children friends, you know, just raised them from the time that they were birth. So I know exactly what that means. Of giving of service, just of just being able to be that, you know, just just allowing God to continue to sh show up for you everything that you are blessed with, you bless others with, no matter how big or small that it is. So that's great that you have that. How would you say giving bad contributes to our journey of self love? Well, it's interesting. I think that we really need to be I don't like to say need, but need to be in a place where we are loving ourselves before we can authentically be in service to others. So and once we're in that place of really loving ourselves, appreciating ourselves, knowing ourselves, it never feels like service. It's just the natural extension of who we are. And from that place, it feels so good to be of service and it feels so good to people who are receiving them. Yeah, yeah, it is. I want to piggyback on that. I was just telling my husband this actually today is that I said, today feels different And why it feels different, I said, because I feel good. I'm truly. In gratitude, because I love what I do, Like I love the Season of Self Love podcast, and I've been doing this for almost two years and the way that it came about was just so amazing for me to share it. And you are so right. When you definitely, when you're going through your healing journey and you truly understand who you are and what your purpose is in life, it's nothing but second nature. So it doesn't feel like the truth. It feels like something that you truly want to do every day. Yeah. Yes, And we end up doing it for ourselves. Yeah, so it's a win win for everybody. But one of the things I asked clients to do is first thing in the morning, to sit with themselves and to identify one thing that they appreciate about themselves. Not one thing that someone else appreciates about them, but what do you appreciate about you for you? Yeah. I think when we are able to do that and get comfortable with that, it really starts off the day differently. Yes, it does, it does. I took a walk this morning in a park and I was listening to by Procter and I've listened to Change your Paradigm, Change your Life so many times. I've listened to that out a book. And every time that I hear it, I hear something different in it for me, something so different from me. And it was he was talking about this, he was at this conference and one of the speakers on a conference I forgot the guy name again. He said, But I'm being me for me. I'm being me for me, he said, not me for my wife, or my children, or for the world, but I'm mean for me. And then what that does is it allows you when you are your total of who you are of you, then you are able to give your authentic self to others. And when I heard that, I was like, this is what I'm talking about. It just puts you in a whole new mode. Well, it is interesting. I think we are only able to hear from the perspective of where we are with ourselves, moment by moment. Yeah, so yeah, I like that moment by moment. I like that one moment in the next moment. Yeah, all right, So let me ask you this, the connection between serving others and nurturing ourselves. I know we talked to this a little bit because it can be so real giving from a full cup. And not an empty one. So I think it's not possible to give from an empty cup without resentment on the part of the giver and without the receiver feeling uncomfortable with the receiving, because receivers can feel ambivalence when it comes from somebody who is not full enough to actually be given. So it's kind of like that expression, put your own mask on first, and then it's just others. But that's counterintuitive, especially as women. I find that women try to extend themselves before they serve themselves. I always say self service first, and I think that it's a lose lose. It doesn't feel good to the giver, it doesn't feel good to the receiver. Yeah, thank you for sharing that. Now, for our listeners who are wondering where do they start? Where can I start? What are some simple ways that they can give back and engage in their communities. I think when you are in a place once again of alignment and feeling good about yourself and filled with appreciation, those opportunities present themselves and then we end up saying yes. There's no hesitation there, like, it's just it's a yes. And if a situation is presented to you and you feel like yes, I think that's a wonderful fit for where you are with yourself and what is available in terms of the natural extension that will come and for you to be in service. Yeah, some great advice. Now, Sometimes it's just it's not just about showing up right, it's not just about what about the challenges like the burnout, like the burnout of the feeling it just like the burnout feeling right, that really don't matter, But how do we overcome those? I think once again, it's so important that we nurture and nourish ourselves back into the connection that we have with ourselves moment by moment, and that's up to us. That's our responsibility. We cannot look to anyone else to do that for us. So I think that has to be the priority. And for some people that's okay. It might take a long time to get to that place where you're putting yourself first and feeling really connected with you and then extending yourself of service. But I don't think it feels good to do it before. And I don't think it feels good to do it because you think you should. That doesn't feel good, right. I mean you could, right, that's a different feeling, but you should no, right. I believe that kind of goes back to the not giving from an empty cup. You know, you want to make. Sure your cup is full. It's something that my therapist said to me when you first started working with me here on this season and self love is He said that because I always say that my cup I used to always say my cup is halfway full. I used to always say it's halfway full. He said, how about allowing your cup to completely full and flow over so those that are receiving your your your overflow. So that's what we say, So start to learn to overflow your cup. Yeah, and I think allowing is good because we must give ourselves permission to do that that does not come easy. Yeah. Yeah, you are so right. You are so right. Thank you for that. Now, when when we hear stories of transformation, you know, those light bulb moments, it reminds us of why we give so for you. Can you share one that really moved you. Wow, it moves me differently. It's not because of the response of my service. It's because I get so much out of giving. So I volunteer a lot, and I'm finding that there are a lot of volunteers that aren't really showing up even though they sign up. So when I'm able to show up consistently and not even from a place like oh I should, no one else is doing it. But like I'm really loving this, Like this is so fun and so amazing, and not because I'm feeling bad about what is happening that's requiring volunteer work, but just to like look at some of these agencies or some of these places and how they're running, and it's just I'm often amazed. Yeah, it's really more about me. It's never about what I'm giving or how I'm giving. It's it almost feels offish on my part. I'm getting so much. Out of it. Okay, so let me ask you this. Let's go into what's happening in today's world, our house society is. You know, we talk about this a lot, especially on my other podcast, about just the hopeless that a lot of people feel in this moment in time. What will be your advice or encouragement for them? Well, I really encourage people not to watch mainstream news because there is nothing there that is hopeful or positive. And I think that what happens is that we feel paralyzed and we feel very unempowered, which is the purpose, which is okay, But you know, I think that there are other news sources that are filled with hope and where the message is very different. And I do think that there is a silver lining in every situation, but it really depends on where we're choosing to put our attention, and that takes a lot of work sometimes, especially now when we're bombarded with so many things that feel very hopeless. However, I do think that there's a whole other side to it, and we have to look for that other side. Yeah, beautiful, thank you for sharing that. You know, I remember when everything when the election came in, turned and I remember we had like an after math show of the whole thing. And I'm nowhere near political, but I knew this was something that was going to change all of our lives. This was a different type of election that was going on here, and as you know, things had started to change. I remember saying something like you said about there's something that we are supposed to learn from this that's happening right now. I'm not quite sure what it is, but my advice to everyone is open your eyes and start paying attention. This is the moment time that you truly need to tap into the God within you so you can hear that because outside of you, it's. Going to be crazy. So you have to find the strength within you. That's where that resilience come in. That's where this self love is coming in. And it's so ironic that it's so many platforms that's talking about self love, that's talking about self discovery. Let's talk about that inner strength that's so much needed right now. Yes, that is for sure, and if we are wanting to see that, we will find it. Yeah, be a conscious process, which is it's tough. I have to say it is tough right now. Yeah, so true. So you worked with so many beautiful souls, so many beautiful souls. What are some of the most inspiring transformations that you've witnessed through the acts of service? You know, people do get transformed. It is really amazing. And I think the most amazing things that I see is how much how it actually fills people to do the service work. It fills them well, it's part of their whole loving themselves. So it contributes to filling the cup. I feel like service anymore. It just feels like the natural extension. Yeah. Yeah. So let me ask you this, what inspired you to write your book? Okay, well that's an interesting story. My family was amazing, and I did not have an emotional connection with my mother. And I was extremely connected to myself from my earliest memory. And I spent half my life trying to figure out how could I be so connected to myself and have no connection with this amazing woman that brought me to this world. And I did not feel that connection until she was transitioning in the ICU and she was intubated and then I felt all the love pour through her to me and I thought, oh my goodness, this is the beginning of our mother and daughter relationship. And then she transitioned and I realized that even though my mother was amazing and lived forty eight hours in every day, she couldn't connect with me because she wasn't connected with herself. And I realized this is such an important message for people, that, you know, the connection with ourselves is really the basis for every other connection that we will go on to have with others or another. So after she transitioned, I sat down with a friend of mine who knew my mom really well, and we wrote this book on a weekend. It just flowed through me, and it's a tribute to my mom and really thanking her for giving me this opportunity to, you know, stay eternally connected to myself because intuitively I knew it was me. I needed to be guided by me because that was it, It was just me. So yeah, beautiful, thank you for sharing that. So let me ask you how did you become connected to yourself? And first of all, let me ask you how old was your were you when your mother passed away? When she transitioned, So she's gone like fourteen years. Fifteen, she's gone fifteen years, and I am sixty two, so you know, it was yeah, I was older. This book is maybe fifteen years old, and I don't know I was born with a knowing, but we all are. And I think I knew intuitively that I could not give that up because usually we look to our parents to guide us, and I just that connection wasn't there. So I'm very grateful for that now because that's my superpower, my connection with myself well. And love. Yes, you know that that is so beautiful because it does, it takes you know. The one thing is that we talk about here is kind of relearning things, relearning the things that we was taught from our parents. You know, just growing up. You get these paradigms or these habits or things that that such. But for you not to even have a connection, it's it's honestly, it's like really, like really, and I'm really looking at a superhero here because for you to share that and also understand, like I really, I only I'm so connect to myself. That I know. That I know that there is no connection with her. Lifeline. But I think the other thing is that I trusted what I knew, God knows how. You know, I was very, very small. It was impossible to influence be influenced. I only heard the sound of my own voice, you know. And I think that we need to get back to that, to trusting ourselves, to knowing ourselves, to loving ourselves, to allowing ourselves to be guided from our inner knowing interviewing, because that's where it all is. There's nothing outside of ourselves. I mean, of course those parental connections, they're very important, but sometimes they're not available. Yeah, yeah, thank you. That was beautiful. Thank you. All right, So we have a few. Questions from the listeners that we pre pulled up for them. For you one, listeners, how can. I give back when I feel like I'm still healing myself? You know, I think when you're still healing yourself, then giving back is maybe not the priority. I think you have to just use that energy for yourself. I don't think that's the time to necessarily give back. Actually, the healing is the giving back, it really is. You allowing yourself to heal is the giving back. You know. There's a statement that. I heard that. Healing is not a destination, Because I believe that we are always healing. Healing is on going process. Yeah, healing is an ongoing process. So for those that are going through that on and I guess there's levels. I think we just talked about I just talked about this the other day. There is levels to the healing process to go through. I think there's a point to where you when you're truly at that I don't even know what stage would that be, to where you are so aware of things now that the healing is so much easier because now you have the tools. Now you have the tools for the triggers, because we're always going to have these triggers that's going to come subconsciously in our mind. But it's all about how we respond to those triggers and that's where the tools come from in the healing process. If that makes sense. Yeah, it does make sense, It really does. And for some people, if they feel that that is going to help them in their journey to reach out and to be of service for others or another, then intuitively allow yourself to be attracted to whatever that experience is. Yeah, So let me ask you something, this is a little personal. Do you think there's anything that you need to be healed from. Not that I need to be healed, but I'm very self aware and I think that I work on myself. It's moment. It's really moment to moment because when I get triggered, my go to now is to laugh, which is great because it gives me some levity. It's not like this huge thing that happened. It's more like, Okay, thank you very much, universe, I got it. This is a trigger. And I think that the awareness has helped me really just appreciate my humanness and also forgive myself in that moment that I regress and onto the next moment. But yeah, I think I think it's I think it really is moment to moment, okay, and I give myself grace, and giving yourself grace is very important. Is that it is. The last question? What's something small that I can do to still make a difference? You know, when in a moment, if you are feeling good and you're sharing, just being present in anyone's face, you are making a difference. You know, because when you feel good, you look at others, you smile, you're open, you're available. It's kind of like you're present. And when we are present, that is such a present for others. Yeah, it really disarms people. It allows people to feel comfortable in their own skin. There's a lot that happens without going to a place and doing a task. Right right, Beautiful, thank you, thank you, thank you. All right, my listeners, if you haven't already, make sure that you grab our free copy of the Year a Rebirth Workbook, Part two. This month's section, it's all about community and connections and reflection and there is guide it, journal, prompts, service ideas, and even a calendar that you can plan your own mini service of projects. I want you to head over to the link for the show notes or visit our website and download a copy. Right now, it's the season and stephalopodcast dot com. Jamie, I want to thank you so much for just sharing your heart and your life with your wisdom with us today. You inspired us to think a little deeper about some things and what really means to give back the process. Is there anything that you would love to share with our listeners today? Know yourself, trust yourself, love yourself because you are your own greatest resource. Beautiful, can can you tell my listeners where can they find you if they wanted your service or anything. I have a website. It's www dot j A M I E jsh L e r n e R dotum beautiful. Thank you all right to my listeners, I want to thank you for just being here. I want you to. Remember that service doesn't require a big gest it just starts at a single act of kindness. That's how we create more loving world. So join us next week when we are giving back this series to just another more powerful conversation. So until then, stay grounded, stay grateful, and always leave love. Have an amazing day, have a good one. Thank you so much for joining me today on this journey of intentional healing. I hope that this conversation has filled your cup and reminded you of the beautiful and worthy person that you are. I want you to remember healing isn't about rushing. It's about showing up for yourself with love and intention, one day at a time. So I'll see you back here Monday and Wednesday for another episode of the Season of Healing intentionally right here on the Season of Self Love podcast. So until then, keep choosing you and visit us at the Season of Self Love podcast dot com for show notes. And resources, and remember to. Connect with me on Instagram at. The Real Naomi Banks. This has been brought to you by Aks Naomi and elevating me self discovery because your healing matters. You are loved, you are worthy, and you are exactly where you need to be. Take care