: Stepping Into Authenticity: Reclaiming Your True Self with Tara Wiskow | Wisdom Wednesday

Welcome to the Season and Self Love Podcast. I am your host, Namibanks, and I am thrilled to have you joined me on this transformative journey. You see, every day we dive into a powerful conversation about self discovery, healing, and empowerment. This podcast is brought to you by Ax Naomi and Elevate Me Self Discovery, where we believe that loving yourself is the first step to living a fulfilling life. You can expect insightful discussions, practical tips, and inspiring stories. Plus we'll occasionally welcome special guests who will share their unique perspectives on self love and personal growth. So get comfy, grab your favorite beverage, and let's embark on this journey together. Because it's time to embrace the beautiful person that you are. So let's elevate our lives one episode of time. Now, let's get started, all right. Maybe for people who are welcome back to this Season and Self Love podcast. I'm your host, Naomi. Thanks, and today is Wednesday. And Wednesday, you know we've been talking about the Year of the Rebirth is our theme for this year, and this month is all about one truth or breakthrough and one boundary at a time. You know, family, this month is all about living in your authentic selves. And listen, I don't know about y'all, but this series has been hitting deep, hitting deep. You know this is my birthday month too, so you know I can't give it to you, all right, right, Well, today's episode is especially powerful because we're talking about stepping into authenticity and reclaiming your true self, a theme that so many of us are craving right now. And I couldn't think of a better guest to walk with us through this than Terror Whisco. Terror is a powerhouse, intuitive energy healer, and a life rend invention expert. But what I love most about her is her truth, her transparency. She's been through it, she has risen from it. Terry has lost two hundred and twenty pounds naturally, Yes you heard me. That's a whole body. That's a whole nother body, and her journey has been nothing short of transformational. So whether you've been hiding behind people pleasing or just silencing your inner voice, or just feeling lost in your own life, this episode is for you. But before we bring Terry to the stage, we're gonna take a quick break. All right, it's your Gurdy god a ninebry babs on this season and stuff on the podcast and would be right back. Washington wells into two focuses on healing always for me. If I look good, then I feel good. If I feel good, then I share the good. If I share the good, then I celebrate the good. If I celebrate the good, then I live the good. So I can be paid to be my greatest. But I have to learn the good to be the good. So what does it take to be the greatest. It's as simple as a free fifteen minute consultation. Be kind to yourself and he'll all live. Hey it's your girl, you got it now me Banks and make sure you tune in every three Thursday night as Naomi Gap Podcast. We'll be talking about everything you love, sex, relationship, culture differences and so much more by bridging the gap between them all. And we even talk about this scripture monning. You need to stop by Mean dot com, my pods as well as the BeTV group. You have some amazing gifts that come frol you never know. Just make sure you tune met Thursday nightey six pm, six century Time. Go to Axlaim dot com and tell. Them namis all right, my beautiful people. Well, welcome back, Hey team, Hello, how are you? And thank you? I have to say thank you for having me with you on this this episode and this month. What an amazing month about authenticity speaking my language. But back to my original question, how are you? I am? Well, I am amazing, I am amazing, amazing, Thank you. I'm truly excited for this conversation. I really am, I really am. You know, this year is all about the rebirth for us in this this whole year long thing, and it's been an amazing We're in the second half of this year and I can truly say that it's been one. It's been a good one. It's been a good one. It's been Yeah. So usually what we do before is we do a nice little guided meditation before we get into our conversation. All right, is that all right? Due? I think that's amazing. I love it. All right, thank you? All right, my listeners, you know how we do it. If you can just close your eyes to get into a comfortable position, all rightail deeply through your nose, your lungs with air. I want you to hold on for a brief moment. Now, exhale slowly and completely releasing any tension or stress. I want you to feel your body relaxing with each broth. Now, as you continue to breathe at your own pace, I want you to bring awareness to the present moment and feel the weight of your body grounding you to the earth. I want you to notice any sensation within your body without judgment, just simply observing. Take a deep breath, thin, drawing in peace and clarity, and I want you to exhale any distractions or words that may be cloud in your mind. With each breath creates space for insights and intuition to flow freely. Now, envision a bright light at the center of your being, radiating warmth. And wisdom, and with each. And nail, allow this light to expand and illuminate your mind and spirit, and feel a sense of calm and serenity in you. Take one final deep breath in embracing this moment of stillness and interconnection, and exhale slowly, carrying this sense of present and openness with you as you move forward. So when you are ready, gently open your eyes and carry this feeling of mindfulness throughout your day. You are grounded, You are centered and open to the insights that away. All right. Maybe for people if you are new here to this is in a Cephalo podcasts. It's something we do everyday Monday through Fridays, just to have ground us before we get into the topic of your hand. All right, you ready, I'm ready. I am ready again. Welcome, Welcome with So let's go ahead and begin with your journey. All right, So your story is is you lost two hundred and twenty pounds. Naturally, this is shoe inspiring and what I'm saying because I've been on a yo yo day for about the past eight years of my life. Oh girl, but you know what. It honestly goes so much deeper than weight loss, and I know that it does. So can you share with us what led you to start this journey and what discovered along your way? Oh my gosh, this is going to be a long podcast. We're gonna talk about what I discovered along the way. It's a lot. So what what led me to this? You know, I started struggling with weight in my senior year of high school and it led from actually having. Right miss I was. So let's go ahead and begin with your journey. Your story is you losing two hundred and twenty pounds. Naturally, that is so impressive. But not only that, but I know it goes deeper into that. You know, I've been on this up and down yo Yo Daya for the past I'm ten years of my life. So can you share what led you to start this journey and what did you discover while going through this journey? Yeah? So what led me to start it? Honestly, I started to struggle with my weight when I was in my junior year of high school and started to put weight on and it continued to progress for years. Three pregnancies later, and I got to the point of three hundred and thirty eight pounds. Now, just like you said, Yo Yo died in trying to lose the weight. I had tried everything doctor prescribed, friend recommended, Internet suggested. I had done it all, and I would successfully lose some and then I'd put it back on, and I would not just put what I'd lost back on. I would put more than that, because, as you said, it goes deeper than that. It's that internal being, that frustration, that disappointment, that shame, all those things that come the emotional side of not just the physical but the emotional. And so when when I'd went through a divorce and I was now a single mom of three boys three hundred and thirty eight pounds, I started to realize that the mom that I was was not the mom that I had made the commitment young in my life that I would be my mom. I love my mom. I'm grateful that she brought me into this world and gave me life. She was very much somebody that was sedentary on the couch, and she wasn't present with us. She wasn't there to be out doing the things that that us girls were doing. And so I knew I wanted to be the mom that was out that was, you know, getting I don't know, the grass stanes and the pants and the rips in the clothes and out moving grooven and being a boy mom. That was easy to be able to do if I was in that state of ability to do, which I wasn't. And so I became the park bench MoMA. I would go to the park, I would sit on the bench, and my boys would be out with all the other moms that were physically able to be present with them, and they would take them under their wings and do all those things. And one day I was deep in thought thinking whatever I was thinking, I don't recall at this point what I was thinking. It was probably about seventeen years ago. And I happened to look up and here are my boys looking at me, all three dirty faces, and everybody else is clearing out and leaving the park. And they wanted to play their favorite favorite game. And it's a swing game, and it's a game where they're swinging and I'm running in between them. Everybody's aware of this game. I'm pretty sure everybody is. And so it went my oldest son, Trevor, youngest son, Trustan middle son tray that was the order of the swings. And I went by Trevor and I got in of trust In and I tripped and as I was falling, trusted came swinging into me, and he bombarded into me with his feet, and that pressure and force of him hitting me flipped his two year old body back and he crashing into the ground. It knocked him unconscious and split his head open in that moment. You know how they say, Naomi, that you the adrenaline that happens, you can lift a car up right. I was running maybe I don't even know if I could say five feet and I had to stop, and I had to catch my breath. Here I am with my my unconscious two year old in my arms, my older two boys, they're they're falling, they're screaming. They don't know what's going on, and they're terrified. And I struggled to get my son to the vehicle and get him to the er to have him looked at and taken care of. The end of that whole ordeal, he had staples in his head and he was very proud of the staples. He's a typical by all. The boys have lollipops, They're good. And I'm going home absolutely crushed and broken. Not only did I let my body go, not only did I feel like going through a divorce and my relationship falling apart. I was not the mom that my boys deserved, and that led to eating disorders and then eventually suicide. The moment that shifted everything for me, the pinnacle moment, was my third suicidal attempt and my middle son finding me and assessing the situation and asking me this question, are you gonna die? Mama? And I because of what happened to me when I was eight, being found out that a huge secret had been kept to me about my identity. I swore I would never lie to my boys, regardless of the what I had to say, the meaning behind what I had to say, And so when I looked at Trey, I knew it was yes or no. And in that moment, all of a sudden I heard. I heard, Tara, you have got to learn to love yourself as much as you love these boys. And that was the moment where everything shifted. That was a pinnacle moment where I realized the one thing that I had not done in all the years of trying to lose weight was love myself. I had been mean, I had been hurtful. I had damaged my inner worth, my inner being. I had said terrible things to myself. I had not once loved the woman looking back at me in the mirror. I'd not accepted her. And so my response to Trey was no, I'm not going to die. And that was a moment where I started to step forward being my more authentic self than I ever had been in all of my life. At that point, and I was twenty eight years old. Then, it was twenty years a long time coming that I would finally start to realize what it means to be authentech. That's what started my weight last journey to losing two hundred and twenty pounds. Wow. That is so powerful. I'm over here in tears as you are speaking your story and sharing it, and thank you for sharing it. First of all, you're welcome. Wow. So let me share with the audience why they're What I felt from her, what I was feeling is just to know that your baby boy is laying on the ground with his head wide open like that, and you you see it and you want to be there quickly, but knowing that you can be the very reason why that baby is no longer here because you haven't done your due diligence as a mother, as a protector, as a know and not only that, is that the shame that you have for yourself that you allow for all of this to take place when you knew that you kind of had control of it yourself. You know, it's just you know, that's a lot. That's a lot, and I felt every single bit of it all. What I do love about the story is that when you realize that wait, hold on, I'm not even loving myself right right, That's something easy that we do forget is because we do look at everyone else first, We do look at ourselves last, we the last. What I've been hearing all year, through every different series that we have is that we have to put on our oxygen masks first. Yes, we can help others. You know that. For me, this year has been stamped into my brain constantly, over and over again. And that's why even you here with me today, that's another stamp for me to really, you know, keep reminding me to pay attention when we do. You know, when we try to do things for other Hi, is that right? Is that? What being in aligned with that is that your authentic self? Are you truly supposed to be doing that? Right? I love that you was being honest and accountable of the mother that you wanted to be for your children and not the mother that you had. I can echo you on that one. Well, my first, my three babies are all ten years apart, ten ten ten wow? Thirty five year old? Well no, she's thirty three, one will be twenty three, and one will be thirteen. Each one of my babies are ten years apart, and so each one of them got a different version of me, sure, a different mother of me. So when you spoke that I understood exactly. The first one she got, the nineteen year old with me, we were running, we would do it everything. Yes, baby got the rich one, the Richmond was full of work. And this one right here, she gets the one that's down that I'm self employed and I'm working all the time. So when you talk about being present, I understood exactly what you meant. And I took that as a message for me, is that don't be so involved and indulged in what you're doing here, even though it's for good that you lose the presence with that little one. Yeah, thank you for that one. And I had to take knowledge of that when I when when I have amazing guests, coworkers, co guests on here with me and something hits me, I have to say it so my listeners can know, Oh, Naomi, just not speaking. I'm living through this journey right along with you, with you all, and I thank you for that. I do welcome. Yeah, well you know. And it's that awareness, right. The first step to anything changed is awareness. And so for you to be willing to be open to be aware of that and then take that on, that's what will create the shift within you and That's a piece of being authentic, right there, Naomi, is you being willing to say I need to do a check up from a neck up because I feel something in what she's saying and you allow that to enter within you And that's huge. That says that you've done that that personal development to allow you to be aware of the shifts that need to happen for your own betterment, for you to feel better in your authentic space. Yeah, thank you for that. You know you and I know what our listeners when they hear you attempted three times to take your life, three times to take your life, this is my question for you. Sure, why did you think that you wasn't worthy to live? Well, that's my question. It's another one. Why did you think that the boys were not worthy to have you in their life? Yeah? My belief is that they could have better. That was the blieve that I always had somebody that would be enough. That is the biggest belief that I have struggled with, limiting belief the majority of my life. And it stems from eight years old as I shared that that big secret that came out about my identity is I'm not good enough, I'm not smart. Enough. I'll never be enough. I don't have enough. The word enough has always been within my limited space of beliefs about myself, and so for me thinking, you know, this will sound really crazy to you and your listeners, and I've had to embrace it myself. But the first suicidal attempt where I wasn't successful, I thought I wasn't good enough to even be able to end my own life. I thought there was something wrong with me that I couldn't even succeed at that I took it as a negative towards myself, rather than seeing it as a rejoiceful moment to say God has bigger plans for you. You're meant for something more. But I internalized it as something wrong with me, So we'll try again, and still something's wrong with you, So then we'll try it again. And it was that third moment of having it be intercepted by my son and hearing that download to know, girl, you are more than enough. You're just approaching things in all the wrong way of living this life and being yourself and allowing yourself to be present. And for me, why did I not think that I was enough? Again? It's just me thinking that I wasn't a complete whole person. And I hope this is okay when I ask you this, anything's okay. You said something about eight years old. Yeah, whatever happened at eight, Is that a part of what made you feel that you wasn't worthy? Yeah? Yeah, I found out at eight on my birthday was this time of years Easter, that I had a different dad, that the dad that I thought was my dad was actually my stepdad, and I had a biological dad and a whole other family that were living five hours away. And when my mom was pregnant and he became aware, he said, abort it. It's not mine. I don't want it. And I did end up meeting him when I was twelve, after going through such deep identity struggles, because as you can see, I'm dark hair, brown eyes. My mom and my dad, my stepdad, and my sisters are blonde hair, blue eyes. And at that moment, I started to see things like, wow, I do look different. I am different. Everything about me was different. And the moment that I met my biological dad was like looking in a mirror. Everything about me fit perfect. I mean, it was a glove fitting. And then he died when I was fifteen, and I felt like he abandoned me. I felt like he me I was only good enough to be in his life for three years, that was all I got, and then he would leave me. And so that was all of the identity shifting that I did, because at home, I felt like I had to be somebody different. When I stay home with my mom and my dad, which is my stepdad, I had to be somebody different to not be abandoned. And when I was with my biological dad and my sister's there, it had to be somebody different to not be abandoned. When I was with my friends, when I was anywhere, I had to be somebody exactly as they wanted, not my actual version, not my authentic self, because obviously my authentic self in the womb wasn't even good enough, so I was abandoned. Therefore, if I was with anybody in living space, they're not going to love me, accept me. So be somebody that they will want, whoever they'll accept. That's who you choose to be. That is so powerful, That is so powerful, just even in the realization that you know that I wasn't even my authentic self with anybody, with anybody, with no with no one that I was not able to show my abandonment. So let me share something with you that we talked about abandonment. Was it late last year one of those times in I suffer from abandonment. But for me with my abandonment, and I came to this realization. I said, I truly thank my abandonment because it helps build this amazing character and resilience that I have. And so what I think about when I'm listening to you and what you're saying, those three attempts that you made on your life, that was a steady resilience to keep building and building and building up for you. Not only that, so that can be another layer, a part of your story. You know, you can see the grint of with that, Oh, with this authenticity means for you in this life? You know what I mean? Yes, yes, yeah, and I do see it now. I used to I used to have so much anger within me for the life that I lived. I used to think that God made two kinds of people, the beautiful, the skinny, the successful, the fortunate, and the me. I really believe that, And I always wondered why why was I the one that didn't get to have good things in my life? And I now realize that, I mean, none of that's true, and everything that I've went through has built me to be who I am, and it's allowed me. It's a blessing because at the level that I can connect with women now and understand, there are very few women that can walk up to me and say you'll never understand, and I can say you're right, because I'll probably listen in and saying, oh, honey, I got you, I got you. And that gives me the ability to connect and for me to be so open and take them in in a hold space for them, and and be able to just allow them to be vulnerable with me because I understand, I've got it, and that gives me a whole level of connection that I would have had had I not went through the journey that I've went through. Yeah, that's beautiful. You know when people say authenticity to be you know what is that? Yeah, so let's talk about let's talk about what really authenticity is now for you? What does it really mean to be authentic? Yeah? It's so funny because in the beginning of me beginning to talk about authenticity, I really struggled with it. I had to go to the Webster dictionary to be like what isicity? Like what does this mean? And I'm a I love food, so it's like okay, so authentic Mexican. Oh oh okay, Like okay, I cat, I can bring this in now. So to be, to be a is somebody that is It's you, it is you. There are no masks, there are no there are no hats that you wear. You don't have a hat for this group. You don't have a hat for this this group, you have nothing but yourself. Showing up as you wide open for me is ron and reel. Like when people say talk about me, what they'll say is Tara comes with a whole punch of raw and reel. That that is her. And that's that's how I show up. Is completely being myself regardless. Now did I always Oh my gosh, no, We've already talked about that. But now I'm coming in and I'm owning my space and I'm owning that space fully as myself. And you're not going to make me feel like I have to speak in a way that you're going to be okay with, or that I have to dress a certain way to be acceptable. I'm gonna dress the way I want to dress. I'm gonna speak the way that I want to speak, and I'm going to own my space because I deserve to own that space. I love that girl. Right. It took me a long time to get here, but I am here and I'm not letting it go. You know. I love that. And why it's because going on this journey right here, the season is self love. Let me say that season and self love has allowed me to truly be so authentic. I remember when I first was told, when it felt like somebody was right here on my shoulder. I was sitting on my altar and said, you need to do this daily? Me do this daily? Am I word? Huh what that looks like? Do I need to go get a bible? What are I to do to do this? You know? And it was like, no, bring yourself. Yeah, everything that you've learned through your journey, through your life, you being in the adult industry, you being a mother, you being a singer, everything that you went through in life, you bring it into this table, right here on this table and allow people to eat as you eat. And I didn't understand that. But then as I continue to be my authentic self on the real and bringing other people in It was just like, oh, so people don't care. They just want me for just me. I don't have to, you know, speak them in my language. No, I can speak. If I can't pronounce a word instead of over it, that's me, that's who I am. I don't have to switch colder any of those things. And when you are living and I'm telling you listeners, when you are living in your authentic self and you accept it every part of you, there's nothing that nobody else can. Say to you that is so true, that is so true. Had a mentor say to me, It's none of your business what anybody else says or thinks about you. All that should be in your concern is what you think and say about yourself. And I really truly think that that is allowing yourself to be authentic because you're letting any words or thoughts from anybody else fall away and it doesn't penetrate you. You don't allow it to penetrate you because you're in full concern on what you're thinking. Insane about yourself. Yeah, exactly. You know. It's funny. I remember when transitioning leaving I've been out of the adult industry for thirteen years. Thirteen years. Wow. But I still have fans and I still have people that would come and trol and say, so, I have this whole I'm on there talking about transformation and God and someone would say, well you're thinking about that when that was in your mouth? Like really, like really wow? You know that? I remember that used to offend me in the beginning. But then I said, and I said, well, that's where they met me at, right, That's where they made me at. So I mean, why would I get offended because that was me. That was me on that film. And yes, I probably got award for that, but that was. Me on that film. So how can you get upsett from someone who doesn't see doesn't see you? But is it really them not seeing you? Is it really them not seeing you? And that's what's the It ain't even my problem because I know who I am. Yeah, we're go ahead, go ahead. I feel like when we decide to shift and really own our authenticity, people get really unnerved by that because they they either are are really envious or intimidated. Because you've got the strength within you, the empowerment within you to say I'm owning this, this is me, and I'm not allowing anybody to take that away from me, and they're they're feeling really insecure about themselves because they don't have that within them. And that's not because there's anything wrong with them, and it's just they've not reached that level. And so, like all of us, at some point in our life, do they try to take you down to their level, because then if they can just bring you down there, it makes them feel better about where they're at and makes them feel better about staying where they're at. Again, this is not shame, This is not blame, This is not judgment. I've been there, I've been that person, and so it's just the reality of what happens when we're changing or you no longer serve the purpose of what they want. For me. As I've been a weight loss coach for eleven years, I'll always be a weight loss coach, but I'm shifting into the space of being the intuitive energy healer and moving into that because that's where I belong, that's my calling. And people are struggling with that because I'm no longer serving the purpose they want and they're feeling like I'm abandoning them because I'm moving away, which I'm not I'm not abandoning them, but they're feeling abandoned, and so that inner child is being triggered because their own childhood triggers are coming forward. Their own insecurities and needs of healing are coming forward, and me shifting and me changing is making them have insecurities that they don't know how to handle. Ooh, girl, that spoke. So that is so powerful because when you really think about it, I never really thought about it that way, as of them feeling abandoned by what you were serving them in the beginning. I didn't think about it in that aspect. I thought about this because they don't see me humping up and down anymore. No, you know, that's that's what you think, you know, And I'm like, I want to give you a hugger, I want to pray for you because I want you to get to where I'm at. But now that you say it, that is a sense of abandonment because in their heads, regardless, this is a relationship that they have with us, whether you're you know you're a coach for weight loss. You know, this was my relationship of watching Naomi do these films or talk, you know, be in this sense she gave me a sense of I don't want to say hope, but that I wasn't alone in this part of my journey, you know, with it. You know, so she just she just left me, you know, just left me behind you. Yeah, you served. You gave them emotion, right like they felt some sort of emotion watching you in that film doing the work you're doing. They felt emotion tied to you. And even though it's been thirteen years, they're now seeing you in this different space and they don't know how to take that now. They have different emotions that they don't know how to deal with, and they do feel abandoned because they're wanting that that Naomi back because that served the purpose that they needed. And they're just not at your level. They're not at your level of where you are now, and they can't speak this language. Wow, you know that's I mean, I just just thank you for that, because language on that one I didn't get anyore I gave it. But you know, you just gave me another perspective on truly how to look at it, you know, because I would have been when I decided to truly start living in my purpose, it was all about you know, bringing in spirituality and sexuality in together and about healing in that process. And I remember when I truly chose to like, Okay, I'm gonna leave my adult side or side away and really focus on my spiritual I was so off balanced because that wasn't my true purpose. My true purpose was truly to be where I do speak about sexuality and spirituality and how both of them can be in the same temple, which is our body, and how we can be able to balance those and be behole. You know, that's the whole thing with it. And I think it's it's been hard. Now, let me say hard. It's been challenging for me until today. And you just want something challenging to find that fine line those that's on the sexual side and those that's on the spiritual side to meet here. Yeah, well, we don't have to shame neither one of them, right right, the one of them. Let's take religious out of it. Let's talk about spirituality, Let's talk about being. Let's talk about sexuality. Sexuality is a part of a spiritual being that we have inside of us, you know, gifts and things that we have within us that this is a part of. Our core totally. You know, yeah, you know what that Yeah. And I love that you speak that. And do you honestly feel like had you not that prior career, if that wouldn't have ban what, you wouldn't be able to have these conversations. You had to experience that to bring it all together. Yeah, and I love that. I love that that you're putting that message out there. And if anybody can speak it and be trusted to know it, it's you. Yeah, you know. And and it's when I think about it. When I joined and got into the industry, I was well, I was going through a divorce with my first divorce, and I had two kids. I was thirty something years old, so I was a grown woman making grown women decisions to get into this industry, you know, left my all the career, came into this industry, and everybody wondered why. I thought it was just going to be a money grag. Honestly, there was a multi billion dollar industry. I figured, let me give familia, put it into these different product and be gone. But in that process, I've learned so much stuff about myself, about the people that's in the industry, and about the people outside of the industry. I was able to look at a different at life, at a different perspective than I ever grew up. I grew up on the South Side of Chicago. So when from a very religious background, you know, search every Sunday, you know, part of the urcherboard, the choir. You know, like yes, yes, that, and so being in. That, you know, it allowed me to see it differently and go into it without judgment. Really it did go into their more aware of what God is using me for. And I remember the prayer that I used to have in my car, and when you are ready for me to leave, you will let me know, you will you know when you are ready for me to leave. And sure enough, yeah, it was time to leave. It was time to leave. And a few years later, here I am, you know, on my podcast speaking on Ask Naomi. We talk about sex and relationship, I'm talking about spirituality over there, I'm having people read books and join this stuff. And I was like, let me dedicate a whole month to it. That turned out to me a whole podcast that I'm on daily. Love it, Love it. That's all part of your journey, that's your authentic journey. Had you not right, had you not followed that and done that you would not be where you are doing what you're doing right. The second that's part of your authentic journey is not denying yourself to do what feels right. Yeah, that's beautiful. So let's get back to you that first few pounds of that two hundred and twenty pounds. What did that look like for you? Oh my gosh, some days I forget what that was like. And I never want to forget where I came from, because then I forget a piece of me. And so what was it like? Was it? I honestly thought it was just going to be another one of those situations where I'd lose five pounds and put it back on. So I wasn't really believing that it was actually going to work, though I knew that it felt different because I had a different energy of about me, a different way of actually showing up and being committed to it. I saw the process differently, and so the first few pounds was it was hopeful to believe that it was actually happening. And after I actually had lost twenty five pounds, I was so in the lack of belief that it actually could work for me that I've sat down with a friend and I said, I think that I'm sick. He said, what do you mean. I said, I'm losing weight. I think I'm sick. I've lost twenty five pounds. She said, Tara, you're eating healthy, you're drinking water, and you're walking every day. What are you talking about. I had this belief that if it was good things were happening for me, something bad had to be brewing on the inside, because remember God made two kinds of people, and I was the other one. And so it took me some time to actually sit with it and realize, this is happening because you're doing the work, but because you deserve it as well. This is okay. You aren't somebody that is not deserving. And so as I continued through the journey, it became more exciting, it became more empowering. I started to love myself deeper. The hardest part was in the beginning of the process of learning to love myself was looking at myself in the mirror and speaking to myself differently. I never called myself Tara in the privacy of my own home, with the private see it myself. If I was out and people said what's your name? I would say Tara if they called me Tera, I'd respond in a mirror at home, I would always say, you are so fat helfer Hannah, you know, in no offense to anybody with the name of Hannah. But that was that was what I called myself. And after I made that declaration of loving myself down the scale, it was looking in the mirror and I would stand there, completely naked, and I would make myself look at my entire body and I would not allow myself to cringe, and I would bring my eyes back up to my eyes and it took a while, and I would say, I love you, Tara, I'm proud of you, and I am so glad that I get to be you. That was the start of it. That was the hardest part of it. And after that, once I start to embody the true love of actually loving who I was, the rest of it started to fall into place, and the weight loss started to happen naturally, and I fell in love with the journey. Beautiful. Yeah, that mirror, that mirror work is something else, isn't it. It is I My women do it, and they hate every single second of it. To start, and I know they call me names like none other, but they learn to love it. And it is so transformational. It is it's very it's you know, it's it's funny when you talk about talking to yourself. I say this all the time. I said, I have great conversations with myself. I really do. I'll be telling girl, you need to go sit over there because you is really tripping the day. And we were like, are you serious. Yes, because you do have those moments where you do have with this trigger and sometimes when you say, girl, you did that, like yo, you did that, And you have to because you have to think about how many times were you quietly speaking down on yourself. So you have to be loud in that celebration for yourself more than that quietness that you have inside of you. Yes, yes, and no better place to do it in the mirror. That is like. Finally seeing you, seeing you and loving you and accepting you, not just looking at the exterior and finding fault, but seeing who's inside and loving every bit of you for all reasons that you should be loving yourself. Yeah, there was this exercise that I used to do in the beginning. I actually told my listeners this, and but looking at yourself in the mirror and just see all the flaws, but as that excuse me in every flaw, and I used to thank each one of the flaws or the scrapes or the scratches or the lessoning and thank them for that and remember why that's there? What did I learn from from that? And that helped me to truly appreciate my journey? It truly you to go back to say what did I learn from this? Yes? That is I find it today? Yeah, yeah, thank you for sharing that. That is that is something that I've not done and I need to do that. Even though I love myself and I'm proud of myself, we can never not do enough of those exercises to strengthen that bond with ourselves. So thank you for sharing that. Oh you're welcome. Like I said, this is we get it from each other. Yea yeah, yeah, is a give and take relationship. Good. I love each. Hand all right, So tera we are, Hey, we are towards the end of this conversation. Is there anything else that you would love to share with our listeners and also let them know where they can find you at the stage is joys. Yeah, I guess what I would say if I were to leave some big nugget of information is knowing that every single day that you wake up, if you just take a second to pause before you go about your day. And I know that you've heard it before, so I won't I won't grind on the whole phone thing of leaving your phone to the wayside, but just take a moment to be present with yourself and ask yourself who you're going to show up as today? Who will you show up as today? And what's her name? When you claim your name, that is where you get to your most authentic space. And every morning, when I sit on the edge of the bed and I say who am I going to show up as today and I say Tara, that brings me into the core of me, and it makes me pause and ask how would Tara show up today? And that allows me to take my first step as me, not who my husband would like me to be, not who my boys would prefer me to be, or my dogs, or my chickens or the rest of the world. I'm taking my steps out of that room as me, every single step of the way. And that's a very strong path to start your morning right away, and it follows you. It follows you, and then I would say. The next thing I'd ask you to do is some power statements in the mirror. Very first thing, I love you, I'm proud of you. Whatever statement you need, including your name, that will continue yourself through the rest of the day being fully transparently your authentic self. And if you've enjoyed this conversation, I know you've enjoyed, miss Naomi, but if you've enjoyed me as well in this space, you can definitely find me. You know, I'll just be authentic ron reel and say, it's kind of a crazy journey of finding me on social media, but that's what happens when you're an identity coach because Instagram's algorithm is very confused. For the years that you've been confused of who you are, so you have to start a new page. This new page is fully fully me and I love it so at Tara dot Whisco the little period side in between it is where you can find me on Instagram and on TikTok is just going to be straight up Tara Whisko or my website is www. Dot Tara, the dash sign Whisco dot com beautiful. I think this has been so enlighty, So this has been so much fun. Really yeah, it's so much fun. I just just this is good. This is good, all right, my beautiful people. All right, So let me tell you family, I want you to go back and I want you to re listen to this episode. I want you to re listen to this episode because there's been a lot of gems that were dropped, not only for myself but for you all from Tyer today and I think it's been amazing. Again, I thank you for coming across just my whole feed, and I'm so glad that we have croft path, I really am. I think this is an amazing man. Your journey has been amazing. You are just such a bright light, really beautiful, beautiful, just beautiful. And to my listeners, I want you to don't forget that. To go get the work book. You're the Rebirth Wordbook Part two. We have a bunch of pages in there that's all about authenticity. Your journal prompts after me, you know how we do it. And again to thank you for joining me. I had so much fun just sharing your life just everything. This has been great. I want you try to make sure that y'all connect with terror online and I check out her She Rises program. Right, yes, yes, yes. Yes, it's very transformed for mation. I love it. All right, my beautiful people again, have an amazing, amazing day, and I want to thank you just just showing up for yourselves. All right, have a good one bye. Thank you for joining us on this journey of discovering and empowerment here at the Season and Self Love Podcast. Remember embracing self love. It's a continuous journey and we're so glad to have you with us. So if you enjoy today's episode, please leave us a review, and don't forget to join our community on Facebook at Season and Self Love connect with like minded individuals who are also on their self love journey. Now, if you have any questions or topics that you'd like for us to explore, we'd love to hear from you. Email us at seasonous self Love at gmail dot com and let your voice be heard. So until next time, take a moment for yourself today and remember you are worthy of love, joy, and all the beautiful things that life has to offer. You. Have a mo