Rising into Wholeness: Sonya Dudley's Journey from Surviving to Thriving | BII Survivor Story

Welcome to the season and self Love Podcast. I am your host, Namibank, saying, I am thrilled to have you join me on this transformative journey. You see, every day we dive into a powerful conversation about self discovery, healing and empowerment. This podcast is brought to you by ax Naomi and Elevate Me Self Discovery, where we believe that loving yourself is the first step to living a fulfilling life. You can expect insightful discussions, practical tips, and inspiring stories. Plus we're occasionally welcome special guests who will share their unique perspectives on self love and personal growth. So get comfy, grab your favorite beverage, and let's embark on this journey together. Because it's time to embrace the beautiful person that you are. So let's elevate our lives one episode of time. Now, let's get started, all right, Megory for people, we welcome back to this love podcast. I'm your host, now me Banks, and this is Wisdom Wednesday. Well, this will be our final. Episode here for our July series of Preparing for Transformation, and today I am deeply honored to welcome another extraordinary woman whose story will move and inspire you. That's Sonya Dudley. She is a bi survivor who has transformed her journey from surviving to thriving and showing us what it means to rise into complete wholeness after choosing ourselves in our healing. You know what. Sonya's story is a radiant. Example of how our darkest chapters can become the foundation for our most luminous chapters. Her journey demonstrates that healing isn't just about removing what's harming us. It's about discovering who we were meant to be when we no longer are just surviving but fully thriving. Her path reminds us that true transformation is not just possible, but it's our birthright when we choose to honor our bodies, trust our journey, and embrace. The fullness of who we are. But before we bring Sonya to the stags, let's take a quick breaker, right. It's Segurty Goddess. Start it ranks here on the season and Souffler Podcast, and we'd be right back. Washington wells into two focuses on healing. Always for me, if I look good, then I feel good. If I feel good, then I share the good. If I share the good, then I celebrate the good. If I celebrate the good, then I live the good. So I can be paid to be my greatest. But I have to learn the good to be the good. So what does it take to be the greatest. It's as simple as a free fifteen minute consultation. Be kind to yourself and you'll always he Hey, schragurty, God is now me Banks. It makes sure YouTube E three Thursday night as I you have podcast. What we talk about everything. I love, sex, relationship, culture, difference is so much more by bridging the gap between. Them all and we even talk about this spiritual Monday. You need to stop by me and dot comco as well as the bet. You have some amazing gifts to comfortable. You never know. Just make sure you tune in Thursday nice six pm specific cent of time. Go to exam dot com and. Tell them Miami. All right, Ben, beautiful people, Well welcome back. Well hello miss Sonya Dudley. Are you great about yourself? I am so good. I am so happy that you are here. You are the last of our. Extraordinary women for this month series. Yes, okay, hey, I'm okay to be last story for us. I don't know. Everyone's story is important. So I'm yes it is, yes, yes, thank you. All right, So sonya, as I was telling you before that we do a nice grounded meditation before we get into the topic. All right, all right, my listeners, so you know exactly how we do it. If you all could just get into a nice comfortable position and to close your eyes. Take a deep breath in, Take a nice, deep, life giving breath in, and puse with gratitude. Now excel, slowly releasing anything that doesn't belong in this sacred moment. I want you to. Feel your body fully supported, completely held, radiant, alive in this present moment. Now, place both of your hands over your heart, and I want you to feel the steady and the faithful rhythm of life flowing through you. I want you to imagine a brilliant, healing life beginning to glow in your heart center, warm and golden and infinitely loving. This is the light of your wholeness, your completeness, your infinite capacity to heal and transform. And what each to breath. I want you to feel this life expanding throughout your entire beat, illuminating every cell, every breath, every heartbeat. This light represents your innate holeness, not something you need to achieve, but something that you already are. And I remembering breathing and your inherited wholeness, and breathe out any belief in your brokenness. You are complete, you are a whole. You're rising into the fullness of who you've always been. And when you are ready, Jilly, return to the awareness to our conversation and carry this lady and sense of wholeness with you. All right, my beautiful people, Well again, thank you for sharing that space with you with me. And if you are new here to this season podcasts, you know there's something we do every day, money through Friday, just to help ground us. You know, as I sit here in my final weeks of preparing me for my journey, I'm continue to expire by these women who have walked the path and emerged not just here, but they have transformed in ways that I can never imagine that could be possible. You know, each story this month has truly moved me and it inspired me in so many ways. Each story I hear it expands my vision of what's it possible on the other side of this choice. And Sonya's story is particularly powerful because it shows us the beautiful difference between surviving and thriving. You know, so many of us become experts at surviving and pushing through and managing symptoms, making do, but Sonya's journey illustrates what becomes possible when we move beyond the survival. Well, today we're exploring Sonya's beginning to her awakenings that shifted everything, the courage that took to choose thriving over surviving, and that the radio life that she's created on the other side, or her healing journey. So Sonya, thank you for being here with me again today. I know, just sharing your story and just being so vulnerable on another platform like this, it takes a lot of courage, and I truly do thank you, and I truly do appreciate you. Well, that's mutual. It's you know, it's not easy to be authentic and vulnerable and open up about things. But I remember when I made. The decision to move forward with explainting, I didn't even have one ounce of questioning of am I going to share this? It was just like God said, you're sharing your story, You're sharing You're going to help a lot of people. So it was kind of a no brainer for me. I'm very, very very glad that I'm open about it and will continue to be and be very loud about it. Beautiful, thank you. See. I like that loud and bold. That's what I'm talking about. Let's start this. Let's start first of all by just celebrating where you are right now. Tell us about yourself. What brings you the deepest joy and fulfillment in your life today? What a great question. You know what the older you get, you know it may have been something different twenty years ago, but even over the last probably fifteen twelve, fifteen years. You know, it's one thing to do things in your life for yourself that you're proud of and you're like, I did that, I did that. That's great. But when you can pass that on and inspire other people to overcome things that maybe they thought I could never do that, I could never do that, And you inspire them and encourage them, and you watch them get rid of limited beliefs and overcome fear and they move into a different place in their life, and you watch that happen. There's really nothing better that feels my soul than that joy of feeling like, you know, maybe I had. A little piece of a little piece of. Their of their you know, giving them that encouragement in your journey. So I would say that for sure. Yeah, you know, I love hearing that. I love hearing what makes people light of I remember going through my spiritual journey. And that's one thing, that's one question that was always brought to me. What lights you up? It had nothing to do with money, It had nothing to do with popularity, any of those things. What lights me up is truly being able to inspire, encourage, motivate someone, just helping someone just want something change in their life, you know. And that's probably the most amazing thing. As I say, it's serving one another, serving someone else, and that makes. Your whole life purpose bigger. Than you can ever imagine, ever imagine. So let's start from here. Let's start where and if you're comfortable, If you're comfortable, because we want to know. Where it started at. I want to know what season were you in when you decided to get inputs. Great question. It's been a long time because I had two sets of implants over a thirty six year period, and so I was I'd always been very small tested and I was in beauty pageants and always felt insecure, you know, on stage. And then when I was going to college, I knew I was going to be in college pageants and that's swimsuits. And I thought, Okay, I. Am going to need to have you know, suppressed in order to look good in these swimsuits. And I just always felt like I needed them to feel like whole. And you know, if I could tell my old self my young self, it would be, you know, you were good enough, you were beautiful to wake up made you, You're not your your boots are not your identity. Just there's so much I would tell my young self. But so yeah, I really felt like I needed them. So I was almost nineteen. It was the summer before my college, before I started college, and I went to to get boobs and that's what I did. Yeah, yeah, you know, I myself, I got both. I was a little older than you were when I got my boobs. I got my boobs after my second daughter. I was thirty thirty, thirty years old, going on thirty one. Yeah what I when I decided to get my but mine was particularly for modeling, you know, I was as well as you and pageantry. You know, so I knew all of those things had to do to uplift because I was, you know, in the itty bitty. Yeah, yeah, that's you know. So I had the little chick lits, you know, all of those things. You know. Me and my best girlfriend we have this jokers. Her husband one year bought us both those matching They had the big full of chick lit thin. I'm but the funny thing. Is that they used to all we used to love to go out dancing, and so they were always sweat. And then I had like this little thing where I would take them up on us and you. Know how like how you take up how to get you a cleavage? And modeling listen, audience, listen, guys, if you've ever known about being in the modeling industry or even in the Patrickg' industry, you have to find some. Cleveland somewhere in these. You're taped up, and what I'm talking about taped up. You take up with masking tape, you taped up with some wiring tape. It's whatever tape that you can find that's going to be able to sustain that sweat. Yes, yes, yes, but that is what that is what. Women have to go through yeah, yeah, yeah, seriously, So I truly do understand all love that and you know, and that's one thing that when I when I when I was brought to do this and when I was at my altar when it came to me, it's like, you need to share your story, but you also need to share your platform with other women so they can hear their story. But I want thet if there's somebody that's listening, that's thinking about going through explant surgery and even implant surgery, that there is no. Shame in it. There's no no, there is no shame in it. Whatever season that we are in our life at that time, that is what we feel. That we have to do what's best for us with the knowledge that is given to us at that time. Yes, that's the key, right, that's the key. You know. Oh yes, they're safe. Uh, you're they're safe. Women have been getting them for years. Okay, great, I can have these and it's safe and I'm good. And they did not tell me that they were a you know, eight to ten twelve year window shelf life. I don't believe really from what I've learned over time now after deciding to do this, you know, the men that they're put in you, they start bleeding. Your body's waring the capsules, So you know, do they really have an eight or. Ten year shelf? Like, I don't know. Some women go for years and they never get sick, and praise God. I'm so glad. I'm glad. And I was good for about eight or nine years. I was fine. I was fine, I was young, I was that we were having kids, and then I started having. Some symptoms, my first symptoms. I got. I wrote some down because I didn't want to forget any. And these are just some that came to me. There's probably more, but these are these will relate to most people. I had epstein Bar was diagnosed with that which reeks havoc on your body. Now, what is that? If you can explain to the listeners who might not know. Well, I hear, I don't know a lot. I'm not real scientific, but I do know that, like if you have ever had the monovirus. If you have mono, you typically it's from the ebstein barvirus. It just can cause it really rereaks havoc on your immune system. So that. I had started having panic attacks to kind of where I would couldn't breathe, my lips would turn blue. I almost would have a seizure. It was the craziest thing. Go to the hospital. It was always a panic attack, and I'm like it would just hit me. Out of nowhere. I would have repetitive UTIs or a yeast infection. It was almost like I had one or the other every month. It was crazy. I went through a few years of constantly at doctors and specialists and took different things. Brain fog and fatigue was a pretty normal, normal thing. Sometimes the brain fog would get so bad I couldn't even make words out. And I would go through seasons of this hip pain. I would go through seasons of just severe hip pain. My shoulder and net pain has been an issue since about eight or nine years. In the first set, I have always had a chiropractor. I have always gotten a I just always struggled. With pain, dry mouth, and dry eyes. Over the last probably four years, that has gotten so severe that I will fix an entire forty ounce getting and it sits by my bed in almost every hour in the night, I have to get a sip of water, and I get a small sip so that I'm not up on ipping right so that was another and then a couple other. Well, joint pain. I had joint pain now and that was what always just hurt. And those are just a few. I had a lot of weird things happen that I think could have only been from the implants. So the first set, believe it or not, because I thought they were lifetime devices, I didn't know. I kept that first set for twenty four years. Wow, I went to so many. Different kinds of doctors I thought I was going crazy. Sometimes I even went to you know, I went to all kinds of doctors and was on lots of different medications, all just putting a band aid on symptoms right, never getting to the room issue. No one ever said to me, it could be your implants. And so at twenty four years the reason I went and got another set is because I noticed they looked quite a bit smaller. And I had went from an A or maybe a double A to a seat, and I had nursed two children with them, and. I thought, maybe it's time to have them looked at. You know, they're smaller. Maybe what if they had a rupture. They're smaller. So twenty four. Years in, in twenty twelve, I went to a doctor and he replaced them. And when he got in there to replace them, when I woke up, he had a zip lock bag and he said, here's your implants and they were just jello. There wasn't even a bag around them. He said, had I known what a mess you were inside and how ruptured these were, I would have charged you double and I would have allowed more time. And he was kind of joking, but you were such a mess. I cleaned you up the best I could. So, I mean, they were jell o. There was not a bag around them. So I got my new set. And that same month that I got a new set of implants was also this same month that I got on Gut Health. And I did not know anything about gut Health back in twenty twelve, but my best friend said, stumbled. Across these products. I'm reading all the testimonies. I really think it could help a lot of your symptoms. So I said, okay, So I got on those products. They changed my life. And every symptom that I just mentioned to you, yeah, every symptom was like like I was like, oh my gosh, this is amazing. So I'm screaming and shouting to the world about gut health. And what happened was I stayed. I was extremely healthy for and felt great for about ten years, and then the last two years little things started creeping back. Little things started creeping back. So what my doctor, doctor Sude and Laura said was your gut health really kept you at bay for ten years because they know and they said it's so important if women could just get the importance of gut health. So I'm so thankful that that came into my life when it did. But for the last two years. Every symptom that I just mentioned, not every symptom, but almost all of those. And a few others entered in. And the last the last three months before my surgery was pretty brutal. It was all those. But then I was hurting inside. So I'll stop there and see if you have any questions before I kind of move on into Because I was in denal. I wasn't going to do this, So yeah, that was gonna be my next question to you. First of all, I want to tell you thank you for just sharing that story. And even when you you so let me let. Me say this. As you're talking, I'm picturing moments, I'm picturing exactly what you are going through and it's like, I feel the emotions. I felt the emotions when the doctor came to you with a bag with jail, of those bag with jails, of those supposed to be two complete implants that were in your body, and they were just bags of jail. You know, you know what I'm saying, and. Just listening to that and knowing I just took this out of this woman. Yeah, let me sew her up before I move any first, this is. What I'm thinking. Let me let me clean her up, sew her up with you know, close her up, bring her back and say, look, this is what this is. I don't think we should do any further because guess what, ye no. Harm I do no, you know. And that's just so that is one of that is my main reason for choosing doctor Sue. Yes my doctor. And I want my listeners to know this. This is not a you go doctor Sue, go doctor. Sue type of thing, but I want you all to understand that when you find someone that really believes. In you and care about others first for a profit. Yes, you understand what I'm saying, And especially when he understands and he knows what women come to him for anyway is for them to look beautiful, to be safe, you understand. And so when you when you hear and you see that, and you hear about other surgeons that we've been to before, and not do anything about it. Even if you didn't know about b I, I, breast and player you had any second thoughts, My thing is let me make sure she's good before I even put anything else in there. And what I'm so happy is that your body told you in the. Front of yours, said you know, let's let's work on something else that at least we can try to control it, you know, as much as possible. And that's the gut health. And you are exactly right. A lot of us women don't know what that is, not even women, but people don't know what that is. But it was good that you took. That part of your life and said, Okay, I can control this, I can control what I eat, I can troll what I put in my body, and maybe that'll regulate everything else. On top of me getting some fresh new boobies that they said that, yeah, I'm gonna be good with you know. Yeah, yeah, no, I tell you after going to doctor Sude and you know, my husband is real. He's a he said, good down. To earth, just a good old country guy, you know. And he said, he said after because we were very much like we and me. There's no way I'm sick from my breast. There's no way. But what about all these symptoms? My best friend would say, well what about all these symptoms? And I go, that could be anything fatigue, brainfall of joint pain. I mean literally I kind of mocked it, like, there's no way, my boos and. When let's see, my surgery was in April of this year, April ninth, and in December I was really sick. I got really sick in December. And another friend said who had had her breast out? She said, have you thought that? And I said no, but you're the second person who has brought this up. And I was almost being a little angry, and I just kind of put it off. I literally never looked anything up. I didn't even know the word be I breast implant illness. I wouldn't have even known how to look it up. I would have had to just put in, hey, could my boobs be making me sick? Honestly, I probably could have done that, and it would probably say it probably told me, but I was in that much denial. I want you to hear me. I was totally My friends who had had their sout I was, I was like, oh, I hate they had to do that. I wonder why they did that. I was clueless when I literally grieved. That I could have been so clueless. I grieved. I grieved for for all the life. I feel like I lost all the all the. Days and moments in my life that I felt like I had to could not be my full self. I had to go to bed, I had to take off work. I had to because I grieved that. After I knew what it was and what happened was in February, I have I have like homas unexplained my homas on my legs and I've had four removed, and I have a lot now, and doctors go, we don't know what causes them. Trauma, may be stress, we don't know. And I remember I was working out upstairs and I have bright lights and mirrors, and this was early February. I looked in the mirror and I saw my legs. And I just broke down crying and said, I'm wondering if my implax could be causing. These and all the other things. It was like God said, I'm going to make you listen. Right now, You're gonna listen. And at that moment, I stopped everything I was doing and I called a friend who had had hers out, who had mentioned to me about mine, and I was crying like a baby. She thought something had happened, and I said, I want you to tell me more. And she talked to me for an hour, and that day I called a a doctor my doctor's suit, I called a Nashville doctor. Set a consult for the next week. She told me to watch the documentary Explant, and I said okay, and I told my husband. You know, he said, honey, I was. I was a mess. I was crying. I said, watching this, I'm booking an appointment. I just got to know. Could it be a possibility. He said, whatever you think. Whatever you think. We watched that night and both of our eyes were opened, as I know, you know, and he said, he said, oh, I see. What this is all about. Now. He goes, yeah, let's get you an appointment. If this is what it is, let's get him out. Sounds like after you having these for these were twelve years and a half he said, sounds like, no matter what, you need to get them out now anyway, and you're hurting. Let's book an appointment. So I went from total. Denial and anger and honestly like feeling sorry for my friends who had them out. And thin get oh, I hate that for them, but maybe they feel. Better to instantly lay saying I want mine out. I don't like them, I want them out of me. I'm ready, I'm sick of them, I hate them like that was my switch. Only God can do that. Only God can do that. So that was my switch. Went to my first consult the next week. Did not align with that doctor at all because now he still. Put implants in. But he also said to me, he said, your symptoms might not be from your breast. And he said, you know, a lot of these women are pretty radical and they believe what they believe. And I just I just My husband even said you don't like No, I don't like him when I come back. So that was that, and then I was added to a couple or three different breast implants explain, and I stumbled across I was in doctor suits group. And then Laura messaged me and said, you know, welcome to the group. You know, we're in chick We're in Illinois, and I said, oh, I could never travel to get mine out, but thank you so much. I'm learning a lot. And three weeks two weeks later, I'm booking a consult with doctor Sude. And it was because. He I believed in his calls of like I could not put He said to me, I could not put implants in anymore when I realized I was harming women. Yes, I could not do it anymore. My conscience couldn't allow it. And I was like, you are you aligned with me and probably millions of other women who would align with. You if they knew about you, And so yes, yes. Yeah, that's yeah, that's a little bit about what led me to him. Yes, you know, first of all, that's very powerful, just the whole thing, but the story too. It's something that I'm trying to remember. Which lady was, beautiful woman that I think it was Laura. He was one of the very first one that I spoke to, and we got to give it up for our husbands because I'm gonna tell. You one thing is that you truly need. That support system because the world out there's gonna gaslight you as much as possible and tell you that you But when you have a supportive partner there with you that believes you and say, you know what I want you hold just like just like you want to be, I hear you. And when you with someone that hears you, that is an amazing thing because really, when you look at our husband, they're there to protect us, yeah, you know, and just them knowing like there is nothing that I can do possibly to ease your pain, to ease this symptoms to where you can go through, so you can only imagine what they're going through. But then they still like, I'm with you, I'm riding it out. My husband did the same thing, going to consultations with me and everything like that. And it was like, you know, the one doctor here in Vegas, he was like, I like him. I said I don't, And. He said why not? And I said, because I said he, I said, he do implants. But this is what he said to me. He said, you know usually the ladies that take them out, they come back in and get implanted again. But you tell me that you understand and you know about breast implant illness. Yeah, which is it? Two sides of the mouth, like yeah, yeah. Yeah, it was so many things. And he was like, well I don't do lifts, and I don't and I'm like, okay, so you're purposely taking these out of the woman, just taking them out and just leaving them like they are so they could come back to you to. Get a lift, to get whatever, to get whatever. So this is with you. You're on You're on the financial gain of it. And that was not a line. When I heard in my voice, get them out of you, I knew that it was not for me to get them out of me to put some back in. Yeah, I knew that. You know. And so that was like, no, I'm gonna show you somebody else. And how doctor Sue came to me, it wasn't nothing because I wasn't looking for doctor Sue. Because if I wasn't going to him, I already had a doctor that I had been looking at and following for years in Miami. But I was just trying to find someone at. Home, like you were at home now I wouldn't have to go. And true enough, as I'm sitting at my altar meditating, looking for my looking for meditation music, the group A Group popped up on my front page and I'm like, wait a minute, I'm looking for music, and I saw Laura's name and then I started reading her thing and so I went over and joined the group. And then she had said that she was on an Oprah Winfrey show back in the day. I'm from originally from Chicago. Okay, why do. I remember that? That that episode in the Jenny Jones episode. I remember that. Because I remember at that time, I was a fresh teenager on my way to college, and I was like, I'm really thinking about getting those implus and then after that they had banned them. So I was like, Okay, I'm good. So that's why I didn't get any until I was thirty years old. Us that's when they brought the. Sailing back and they said, well, these are totally different from the Silicon. These are safe, these are lifetime, you know, and so I'm. Just like, hey, yeah, perfect right. And so it was like a whole full circle. But then when I got on the phone with Laura, it was just like we were just. We were just connected in so many ways, and I said, this is it yep, And I cried and I said, thank you guys for leading me. And honestly, when I say this, sonya. I just thought that that was it. Okay, that's gonna make me, you know, such and such assage. And then I went on vacation and May getting ready for my surgeon. U would go on vacation, come back, do my shows for June, and in July, came home for vacation and my body blew all the way up. I could not walk, I could not do anything. I couldn't even talk to even do interviews. Set me down for a whole week in some change. And I was like, and usually when something like that happened to me, there's always a message, just something that I'm supposed to learn or know from there. And I remember again sitting at my altar and he said, you need to do a whole series on your expland journey. M wow, that's powerful. Yeah, and that's what it's been. But this is the funny thing is usually I'm a weekly, a daily show. Yeah, as of two weeks ago, I couldn't do it anymore because my body has really it's like it knows that it's getting ready to be taken out, and so it's just acting crazy. My body is telling me to rest. So now as I'm interviewing you right now. You're the last of the interviews that I would do until October because I have to miss my body. And you know, when we talk about the season of self love, we're talking about loving yourself unconditionally as you are what God has given you. And I was questioning myself, how can I talk about self love when I have two foreign objects in me to give me confidence? And again, people, I want to make sure that I'm not shaming anyone. But I'm not shaming anyone, but I just want to want you to know of the growth, yeah, that has happened with myself and with all of the women that has been here, you know, and just been talking. And so I guess this would I got one question for you right here, if you can tell that nineteen year own from the wisdom of everything you know, now, what would that be to that nineteen year own? Your confidence is not in your body, you know. Treat yourself, treat your body, on your body, treat your body great. What you put in is what you get out. Make the best of what you have your you know, whether you have tiny little A or you have triple. G's, it's what God gave you. You make the best of it. You're gonna be. You're gonna you love yourself as you are. You find someone who will love you as you are, because they will and it won't be for your boobs. So find that person and love yourself that way, and. Don't let that consume you. It's not about that. It's about giving and blessing other people and serving people. And people aren't seeing what you see sometimes when you look in the. Mirror and you're like, I need this fixed, I need that, I need a new nose. People don't see what sometimes we see your faults. So give give yourself grace. Only change what you can. Change, and and and know what you're changing, and know the risk involved. And does this make sense? You know? That's what I would That's what I would say. You won't regret doing this. I've never felt better. I'm one better. Everything I mentioned is gone. I haven't had any neck or from the second surgery was over. I've had no knots or no zero pain in my neck and shoulders. And it was always an issue. I work a lot from my phone mobile, no issues the dry eyes. I haven't used my prescription I dropped since the day before surgery. Haven't even used to them. Couldn't even tell you where they are really, just the fatigue is gone, the brain fog is gone. The brain fog was so bad before surgery it was scaring me to death. I thought I was getting dementia fifty five. Honestly, was scared to death. So I love I love having smaller breast, and I'm not even that small. I'm still a little thirty sixty. And I did get. A lift in a small fact transfer from doctor steud And I'm very happy and pleased with all of that. My healing was smooth and great, and I know God health had a lot to do with that. I don't regret it, and I've never felt better, and I will. I will encourage any woman who feels like, what if it's not my implant? Well, what if it is? What if it's not. If they're more than eight years old, you know you've got to do something at some point. So what if it is? What if it could be? My husband said, when we were doing this, I said, I said, what if it's not. This was in the early beginning. If it's not, he goes, Okay, if it's not, you go back and get some new ones put in later and I'm like, okay. Okay, okay. This was in the early, like the very beginning thoughts. So, but what if it is, you know, it's a foreign object. I'm in a health in the health industry. I felt the way like like you did, Like I can't believe like that, you know. And I'm not shamed anyone who has them. Most of my friends have them, and most of them feel great, and I'm so thankful. But if there ever comes a time when you're questioning your health and you're not getting answers, don't put it too far out there, investigated, come to people, and don't There's no shame in asking could it be? We're here to help. Yeah, you know, beautifully said you know because a lot of times, and I heard you say early on about you didn't even think about breast implant illness. You didn't know any really anything about it. Your whole question was why would you take those beautiful breasts out? You know? Why? You know? Not knowing because people don't know, you know, people do. Not know what illness implant illness is. They do not know of it. And the ones that do, you know, and I heard you say they do, they think everything is cult wise they know they radicals. You know this is stuff. And honestly, when I read these stories of these. Amazing women in it, I keep saying they're amazing because you don't know. The her is that it takes yes. Grace, that it takes to forgive yourself or a choice and decision. When I'm talking about removing the shame. It's so many things that emotionally, spiritually and mentally that happens when you decide to explain. Yes, yes, yeah. I went through all the stages of. Anger, anger at the industry, angry at the doctor's, angry at myself, grief of what I told you, losing. I felt like all those years I wasted money and time and just there's a lot of emotions and I could spend my days beating myself up and being angry, or I could spend my days be productive and encouraging and being loud and being a voice. I can't tell you how many women have already come to me and said I saw your story and have already had surgery with not just doctor Suit, but other doctors probably close to thirty five or forty now that I know us since April, who were clueless like me. Most of them said, I had no idea, So I'm going to continue to be that voice. Instead of beating myself up, I chose to be good and kind to myself at this point. So yeah, and you should. And let me tell you something. It was something that you were saying before, and I was looking at you. I said, that was the path that was brought for you. So you can be the loud voice now. I agree, I agree, I agree. Sometimes you know as less Brown, I love Less Brown. And he says, you can't see the picture when you're. In the frame. Yes, sometimes you can't see or lost purpose when you're in pain. Yes, so I believe that. Yes, Yes, this has been so beautiful. I know I had a lot more questions for you, but I want to kind of towards the end because I do want to talk about once you made that decision for that explaint the day of the day of you going into that. Where was your mindset that day. This is so funny because I even the night before in the morning up, I was gively, happy, relaxed. Never it was a normal night and day for me. Morning of surgery. I'm laughing. I got my pajamas on gun and surgery and I'm like, honey, let's take a selfie. You put your hands over my boobs in the picture. You tell them by because this is it. He's like, You're not nervous at all. Back up, No, I'm excited. Let's go. Like my mindset was when the I'm telling you only that God could be so just miraculous in my mindset, going from loving my boobs like everything I ever bought was oh. You know, I gotta make sure you know. I don't want you much belain this, but oh my gosh, I have these boobs, so you know, I wanted to look pretty and everything and everything was up. And it's like, to just switch me to go, I can't. I bought all the shirts before surgery, itty bitty titty, and I mean. I wear them now, but I'm like, I'm that little one. I'm still about to But I was. I was going to be very okay and very happy to be tiny tiny. I just wanted my life back. So I went into this with that mindset of this is the best day of my life. My life's enough to begin. That's what it was. Yeah, yes, I love that. I love that. And I can feel your energy. I felt your energy last week when we talked a little bit last week too, and it's just good to see all of you beautiful ladies on the other. Side, you know what I'm saying, on the other side. And even though you just got your explan this year, you know, but still just the testimony in itself, just to know that there is. There is a true transformation in it. And you know, that's one thing that I wanted, you know, my listeners to hear, whether you are a man or a woman, that not only are we just talking about body, we're talking about spiritual in your mind as well, because when you choose to have these life changing decisions and that you want to make, you have to truly thinking about having faith in yourself, having faith in what God has shown you in so. Many different ways. And I love that. Once you realize okay, hold on, yeah, yeah, you know, and you went through the grieving, but then you gave yourself grace and was like, Okay, let's go ahead and do this. Let's go ahead and take them out. But now you're now being a voice. And I know you spoke quite a few times about the gut health and I really want and I want to get you on on a whole nother show about gut health too. But if you can talk real quickly. With our listeners right here on how about going about gut health. And if you know any products or have any products that you sell yourself about gut health, please let the listener though, because that's one thing that we talk about here is taking care of our bodies. Yeah, you know, yeah, you know. What I didn't realize was that like seventy to eighty percent of your serotoninis in your gut. Seventy to eighty percent of your immune system lies in your gut. So all my life I would just go to the doctor to treat everything that was going on instead of getting to the root issue. And so what I learned about gut health was when I got on good gut health, I started going to the bathroom regularly. I know, we don't like to talk about that, but it is part of gut health. And most women and men, a lot of men, but most women. I talk to more women than men about this. They struggled with going to the bathroom. And you need to be going through the bathroom and eliminating, you need to be sweating, you need to be going to the bathroom you need to be going to the bathroom. Twoed up two times a day, three times a day. But when you eat, you need the bathroom. Well, I was always happy to go to the bathroom every four or five days because that's all I ever knew. When I started being able to heal my gut, everything started happening. And that started happening. I started craving with sugar. My aches and pains in my body started going away. I started losing weight, I started wanting water. I started sleeping all night. I got off all the medications that I was on, and I was on eight or nine medications. That was over about a two month period. My whole life changed, you can imagine. And so I made a career with the company I'm with, I made a career out of it. So you know, I've been full time now almost thirteen years teaching gut health and helping people. And so sometimes when you have you have rashes, or you have things on the outside, maybe even a headache that you're treating just the symptom. You know, you're the revenue cream on it, you're taking asp if you can get to the gut. Issue, sometimes those things dissipate and it was good health. So blood, sugar, gut health, all those things. Are so critical for your longevity, and so yeah, I love to talk about it, and I never want people to think I'm trying to sell. But you know, if anyone is interested no more, you're welcome. To reach out to me, and I will. I don't like to just sell someone something. I like for people to say I'm really ready to make a change. I like to work with those people who are like uncoachable, help me with eating. I love to help people with nutrition and all the things. So yeah, that's a whole nother day. But yeah, but you know what I love is that even through you doing the gut health and doing that, it allowed you to get healthy in one way, but then in the other way, you still had that foreign object in you that was not allowing you to be one hundred. Percent whole or complete, as I would say. And so just so that that's a testimony alone to not even you your products, but letting the listeners know how important it is for our health, especially to the gut, because that is the core it is, you know, that. Is the court, That is how we get balanced. You know, that's in everything right there in the soul of us. And so that's why I said that, That's why I wanted to speak of that, because it's very important even when making decisions, even when we make a decisions, where we get those decisions from we say, trust your what. I mean. And Laura, what was really fascinating is when I told Laura doctor student, Laura could not believe. How well I healed. They're like, and I tell what I've been doing gut health, really consistent and committed gut health for thirteen years and yearly. And they're like, oh, They're like, well, that's why you got better when. You got new implants. In a lot of women get worse when they exchange their implants, they get really sick. So it was they were real fascinated by that that they so well, that just kept you, that gave you ten years. Yeah, keeping So both sets of my implants were ruptured. When doctor Sude took these out, they were also ruptured. But I still have the back around these. But yeah, honey, honey, let me tell you first. I want to thank you. I truly do. I want to thank you so much because really I am only a few weeks out and I am I am very excited. I am truly excited just to see what everything looks like on the other end. But I joke with my family members, I say, now I can run faster, now I can jump high, now I can wear We don't have to be on the booby watch. You're gonna love it. You love it, and so I am truly excited for this. So let me ask you this. And I know you said that you love it. But how has your relationship with your body involved through this entire journey? You know, just look in the mirror, you know, getting down the shower, and I'm like, this is like, this is I just feel like me. I just feel like this is what I'm supposed to be. And I love my smaller boobs. I love them. I just I just feel like, gosh, so would this be? Would this be? I'm a little larger than I was at nineteen because you. Have more breast warms. Over time you gain weight. So but I just thinking, Wow, I love smaller boobs. And they're pretty popular now, which is a good thing. There are really a lot of a lot of people are removing and a lot of people movie stars are you know, flat and they're wearing their v neck v neck dresses and they're flat. I'm like, but they look good. They're confident. It's not about boobs. It's about they're owning who they are and appreciating who God made. They're like, here, I am, this is me. I'm more than this. I'm brains, I love, I'm kindness, I'm you know, I just so yeah. Yes, beautiful, beautiful. I just want to ask you one more question, you know, so just tapping into your profound wisdom. You're profound with that you gained throughout this whole transformation, what would you share with the woman who's considering expert surgery but it's still feeling uncertain. Or afraid. Considering it but feeling uncertain and afraid, Well, I would say to her, you know what, I would always say, you know what, it's your decision. But if if it were me, I would if you're considering it, I would, you know, gather your information. I would research doctors. What's important to you, what matters to you? Write that down, write. All the things that matter to you, and then start finding that doctor. And if you're not too sick and you're just starting to think about it, then take your time. Pick out a good doctor don't rush into it, ask lots of questions, join the groups, just sit back and be a fly on the wall. No one is pressuring you. It's your decision and gather that information and then start asking questions. Nobody's going to force you to do it. What's the worst thing. That can happen if you say you know? If you're I also would say this, if you're over eight years old with your implants, at some point soon you're going to have to do something right, So consider what you. Want to do. Start gathering information. That's what I would say. Yeah, thank you for that. Now I did say I had one more question right now that I just told a big. Fib there, A big fib there. Yeah, just one more, you know, because you know when we talk about us going through you know, all the aches and pain, and we talk about how we're surviving, you know we're surviving, will be I I survivors? Yeah, how can we go? How can you tell a woman that has just explained you know, they might not have just the the success that you have mentally, emotionally and spiritually getting through it, how can they move from surviving to thriving? But doesn't know how to begin and how to trust that it's possible. Yeah, Oh, that's a great question. Well, I would that that's tough because sometimes when you're in too many groups, you get a lot of information from it. You and you you Also, it's almost like. We just went through mold remediation also, and it's almost like some people pray on they prey on things like this, and they want to say, you need to spend you know, fifteen hundred dollars a month on detoxing for the next six months, and you need to you need to do these and you need to go do these treatments, and you know, it can be very overwhelming. So I I would say, I would say, your body knows how to heal itself, first of all, So don't think the minute you're done with surgery that for the next two or three weeks that you have to do anything major. Let your body settle, get your protein in, lots of protein for healing, lots of hydration for sure. And then I say, and it's not because I do with this, but gut health. You've got to have good digestion, you've got to work on your gut, You've got to be able to bet things moving. So I would say, gut health, hydration, protein, lymphatic massages, and then everything else can come. You can start doing some binders a few weeks later, but find one person who can guide you. Don't It's so hard the our world or social media world and people and you get all these things and then you're overwhelmed. Yeah, to just. Try to narrow that to one person that can. God, Like, I'm not an expert in po moons, so I would say, have you had those check if you're struggling with menopause too, Like, have you ever had those check? You know, find a person who can at least guide you and that kind of thing. So yeah, beautiful, beautiful, you know what, Sonya, We have come to the end of our show, but I want to just tell you I am so deeply moved by just your radiance and your wisdom and your willingness just to share your transformation. And when I say you were being so real, raw and uncut, here you were because you gave all of your vulnerability, in all of your truth. And I truly thank you for this. I really do, I really do. So what we usually do, we just doing it this month and actually this is the last one we do a closing, a closing meditation, And this is just you know, for because we did go into a beautiful conversation, but it was really deep and it was really emotional, and this is just to send you know, our listeners on to you know, just something piece something a piece. So if you are right now, if you can just get comfortable for a moment. I close your eyes, place both of your hands on your heart, and take three deep, nourishing breath. I want you to feel your heart beating for life with possibilities, but the infinite capacity of healing and thriving. Now, imagine that brilliant light we connected with earlier, that golden healing light of your wholeness, glowing brighter and stronger, and your hearts. Now I want you to feel this light expanding throughout your entire being, reminding every cell, every breath, every heartbeat of your innate capacity to heal, to transform, to thrive beyond anything that you've previously And I want you to ask, this light of wholeness, what do you want me to remember about my capacity to thrive? Listen with your whole being to whatever arises a feeling, a knowing verse of encouragement, or a simple sense of limitness, possibilities. Maybe it's a reminder of your strength, Maybe it's encouragement about a decision that you're facing, Or maybe it's simply the knowing that you are meant for so much more than survival. You are meant to flourish. So whatever arises, I want you to receive it with gratitude and trust. This light of wholeness is always available to you, always reminding you of who you truly are and what's possible for your life. Now say to yourself, I am whole, I am capable of thriving, and I choose to live full vitality and joy. Feel this truth settling in every part of your being. You are meant to thrive. You are meant to flourish. Take one more breath in and carry this radiant knowing into your week. All right, beautiful souls, thank you all so much for just sharing that moment with me. Again, Sonya, thank you so much for truly just sharing this experience with not only me but also our listeners here, but just being you know, another inspiration for me going into my surgery is I truly I felt comfortable. I really feel more comfortable now, and I thank you good. I'm so glad. I'm so glad. If you need anything, you reach out to me. Okay, I'm praying for Office twelve. I sure will. Thank you. Thank you so much. All right, my beautiful listeners, Again, I want to truly thank. You all because this is the last show that we're going. To have until October. So I want to say thank you all for trusting me on this complete journey, not only my expect journey, but through the whole season of Self Love. We are now like at three hundred and sixty episodes, and I thank you all for just taking that step with me and moving forward and understanding of what self love is to us, for us and what transformation looks like. Your transformation story can be so different and so amazing all in one. Remember, be authentic, be you have an amazing day, have a good one. Thank you for joining us on this journey of discovering and empowerment here at the Season and Self Love Podcast. Remember, embracing self love is a continuous journey and we're so. Glad to have you with us. So if you enjoy today's episode, please leave us a review and don't forget to join our community on Facebook at Season and self love. Connect with like. Minded individuals who are also on their self love journey. Now, if you have any questions or topics that you'd like for us to explore, we'd love to hear from you. Email us at Seasonousseelflove at gmail dot com and let your voice be heard. So until next time, take a moment for yourself today and remember you are worthy of love, joy, and all the beautiful things that life has to offer. A