"Rewiring Your Mindset for Success with Dr. Axa Yox

[00:00:00] Welcome to the Season of Self Love podcast. I am your host, Nyomi Banks, and I am thrilled to have you join me on this transformative journey.

[00:00:09] You see, every day we dive into a powerful conversation about self-discovery, healing, and empowerment.

[00:00:15] This podcast is brought to you by Axe Nyomi and Elevate Me Self Discovery, where we believe that loving yourself is the first step to living a fulfilling life.

[00:00:25] You can expect insightful discussions, practical tips, and inspiring stories.

[00:00:31] Plus, we'll occasionally welcome special guests who will share their unique perspectives on self-love and personal growth.

[00:00:39] So get comfy, grab your favorite beverage, and let's embark on this journey together.

[00:00:44] Because it's time to embrace the beautiful person that you are.

[00:00:49] So let's elevate our lives one episode at a time.

[00:00:54] Now let's get started.

[00:00:57] All right, my beautiful people.

[00:00:59] Well, welcome to the Season of Self Love podcast.

[00:01:01] I am your host, Nyomi Banks, and I want to welcome you to our daily dose of inspiration and growth.

[00:01:08] And today, today we are continuing our powerful series, Elevate Your Life, Unlock Your Potential.

[00:01:14] And today we have an incredible guest who embodies everything that we've been talking about this week.

[00:01:19] Dr. Axa is joining us to share her transformative journey and her innovative approach to rewiring our minds for success.

[00:01:27] But before we dive into that conversation, let's take a quick break.

[00:01:30] All right?

[00:01:36] It's your girl, you got it.

[00:01:37] Naomi Banks, and make sure you tune in every Thursday night.

[00:01:41] Ask Naomi, do you love, sex, relationship, cultural differences, and so much more?

[00:01:48] We're bridging the gap between them all.

[00:01:50] And we even talk about this conversation with nothing.

[00:01:53] You need to stop by me and Dr. Tom Mike Mike, as well as the BTG group.

[00:01:58] We have some amazing guests that come to you.

[00:02:00] You never know.

[00:02:01] Just make sure you tune in Thursday night, 6 p.m. Pacific Standard Time.

[00:02:05] Go to askniomi.com and tell them Naomi sent you.

[00:02:10] Washington Wellness Institute focuses on healing always.

[00:02:13] For me, if I look good, then I feel good.

[00:02:16] If I feel good, then I share the good.

[00:02:19] If I share the good, then I celebrate the good.

[00:02:22] If I celebrate the good, then I live the good.

[00:02:25] So I can be paid to be my greatest.

[00:02:28] But I have to learn the good to be the good.

[00:02:30] So what does it take to be the greatest?

[00:02:32] It's as simple as a free 15-minute consultation.

[00:02:36] Be kind to yourself and heal always.

[00:02:45] All right, again, welcome back here to the Season of Stuff Love Podcast.

[00:02:48] I am your host, Nami Banks.

[00:02:49] And we are continuing our series, Elevate Your Life, Unlock Your Potential.

[00:02:54] And today we have Dr. Aksa Yokes.

[00:02:57] She is joining us to share her transformative journey

[00:03:00] and her innovative approach to rewind our minds and success.

[00:03:03] Hello, Dr. Aksa.

[00:03:04] How are you?

[00:03:06] Thank you for hosting me.

[00:03:08] I'm fine.

[00:03:08] How about you?

[00:03:10] I'm great.

[00:03:10] I'm great.

[00:03:11] I can't wait to get into this topic.

[00:03:13] I can't wait to hear your perspective and everything that you have to offer.

[00:03:17] But before we do that, we do this every day here at the Season of Stuff Love.

[00:03:22] I would like to help center and guide us before we get into this topic.

[00:03:26] All right?

[00:03:28] All right, my beautiful people.

[00:03:30] You know how we do this.

[00:03:31] Find your comfortable space and close your eyes if you're able to.

[00:03:41] Take a deep breath in through your nose.

[00:03:45] And release slowly through your mouth.

[00:03:49] Feel the potential for transformation within you.

[00:03:54] The capacity for change.

[00:03:56] The power to rewire and renew.

[00:04:02] Notice the flexibility of your mind and its ability to create new patterns, new ways of being.

[00:04:15] To this moment of possibility.

[00:04:21] Feel your readiness for elevation.

[00:04:25] Your openness to new perspectives.

[00:04:32] Deep breath in.

[00:04:35] Bringing awareness to your capacity for change.

[00:04:42] And ready to learn and grow.

[00:04:49] Now gently open your eyes.

[00:04:51] And carry this openness with you.

[00:04:56] All right, my beautiful people.

[00:04:57] So if you are new here to the Season of Stuff Love podcast, it's something that we do every day Monday through Friday.

[00:05:01] Just to have ground us before we get into the topic at hand.

[00:05:04] And again, we have Dr. Axel with us today here.

[00:05:08] Excuse me.

[00:05:09] Here at the Season of Stuff Love.

[00:05:10] I am so excited for today.

[00:05:12] I am truly excited.

[00:05:13] Let's have fun.

[00:05:15] Yes, yes, yes.

[00:05:16] So, you know, your story or transformation really resonates with our theme for this month.

[00:05:21] Elevating our lives and unlocking potential.

[00:05:23] So can you take us back to two years ago?

[00:05:27] Oh, my goodness.

[00:05:28] That was very dark.

[00:05:32] That was very dark times.

[00:05:36] The darkness started back in 2020.

[00:05:39] And it was so bad.

[00:05:42] It hurt so bad.

[00:05:44] I didn't, I wasn't sure that I would come out of the tunnel that I was in.

[00:05:49] And that's when I dived into the topic of motivation.

[00:05:54] Because I was going through the period when I needed to let the past go.

[00:06:00] And I couldn't.

[00:06:02] I was so stuck.

[00:06:05] And every single video and the motivation and the inspiring words, they hit me even more.

[00:06:14] And they would make me even sick.

[00:06:19] The call to let the past go.

[00:06:22] I was like, oh, my goodness.

[00:06:24] Just don't do that.

[00:06:26] And that was kind of a trick.

[00:06:29] It triggered me to start even to understand why I couldn't let the past go.

[00:06:35] What was behind.

[00:06:37] And 80% of people in the world, they have the same problem.

[00:06:43] It's not that you wake up in the morning and you decide, let's suffer.

[00:06:49] There is a reason behind.

[00:06:51] And before you really dissect everything and you start to analyze.

[00:06:57] Because how do we form the patterns?

[00:07:00] We form the patterns since we are kids.

[00:07:02] And back then, we don't have the mature brain to analyze the situation.

[00:07:09] So we start to pile up everything without analyzing.

[00:07:15] And by the time when we come to the age to be able to analyze,

[00:07:20] we already have a lot of pieces of the puzzle that we need to assemble.

[00:07:26] And we start to add the pieces.

[00:07:30] Extra pieces.

[00:07:31] Extra pieces.

[00:07:32] And by the time when you have this pile, you cannot assemble.

[00:07:36] The piece that you add, you are afraid to let go.

[00:07:41] Because you don't want to have the empty spot on your puzzle.

[00:07:45] And that's how you stay in that vicious cycle.

[00:07:50] Like the sick cycle.

[00:07:51] You go over and over without seeing the escape.

[00:07:55] How to get out.

[00:07:57] But it took me three years of deep analyze to figure out what I needed to let go.

[00:08:07] And it took me one second to let it go.

[00:08:12] That was strange for me.

[00:08:14] Because before I was stuck and I couldn't let go.

[00:08:20] The moment I found out what I needed to let go.

[00:08:26] It was the blame from my childhood.

[00:08:29] But the blame for what?

[00:08:33] It took me one second literally to let the complete past go.

[00:08:40] The blame go.

[00:08:42] I don't have blame.

[00:08:45] And to rewire everything that I have in my mind.

[00:08:51] That was amazing transformation.

[00:08:54] You know, just as you speak, it is so beautiful.

[00:08:56] And why I'm so excited about this.

[00:08:59] Because in the last series, I did a challenge.

[00:09:03] I was reading the book, Change Your Paradigm, Change Your Life by Bipart.

[00:09:07] Oh, there you go.

[00:09:08] Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

[00:09:10] So you see where I'm going on with this, right?

[00:09:12] Yeah.

[00:09:13] And so as you were speaking and you were talking, I was like, you know, what she's speaking about

[00:09:17] is a part of our paradigm.

[00:09:18] It's part of, you know, the habits and things that we have that we, you know, a lot of the

[00:09:22] things that we learn and that we sit down to us through heritage, do transition,

[00:09:28] excuse me, that we've learned over the times.

[00:09:31] And it's been very difficult for us to do it.

[00:09:33] But for you to be like, in one moment time, once I realized what it was and going through

[00:09:39] it, I changed it.

[00:09:41] And that is something that we all want to do because we, what I've been learning, what

[00:09:47] I've been learning is that we continue to, we will always be changing our paradigm.

[00:09:54] This is something that we always will do because we always are looking to do something

[00:09:58] bigger and better in our lives because we want to continue to grow.

[00:10:02] As I always say, I am a person who is forever learning and always teaching.

[00:10:08] I love it.

[00:10:09] Yeah.

[00:10:09] I'm forever learning and always teaching.

[00:10:12] So that's why when, when I saw your profile and it came up and it was like, we were a match.

[00:10:17] I saw my guy, she'll be truly great for this series right here.

[00:10:22] And just to help to even rewire, you know, with that, just knowing that it's just a cherry

[00:10:28] on top of what the series that we've been going through, through this year as well.

[00:10:33] Like I mentioned before, before we got on this year has been a year of dominating for us

[00:10:38] going into the new year of 2025, that year of 2025 is going to be the year of the rebirth

[00:10:45] for us.

[00:10:46] So ending this year, having these different things like you coming here and you helping

[00:10:52] the listeners as well as myself, you know, to help us to rewire what we have there, you

[00:10:58] know, it's going to be amazing.

[00:11:00] I'm sorry, y'all.

[00:11:01] I'm just so excited.

[00:11:04] That's, that's, let's do one challenge right now, because I believe majority of people go

[00:11:13] through the same kind of the habit to have the list in the beginning of the year, which

[00:11:20] you just, you just keep the same list transferring from one year into another year and to another

[00:11:26] year.

[00:11:28] And then you really are lost in the timeframe and you don't follow what's happening because

[00:11:36] the paradigm shift happens.

[00:11:38] The world has also the paradigm.

[00:11:41] We confuse that.

[00:11:42] We think that we are the only one who brings the paradigm and we have to match, but you,

[00:11:50] the world around us, not the, like the entire world, because the world is the entire world,

[00:11:57] the world around us and the world within us.

[00:12:02] So we need to find the match within those three paradigms.

[00:12:06] And we need to adjust what we have at that particular moment, what serves us and what doesn't.

[00:12:16] So what doesn't, we need to let go and then we need to adjust and flip.

[00:12:22] But the challenge is let's break the habit of being a thinker because whatever habit you

[00:12:30] have to think about, let's say you have the habit to self-sabotage yourself or to beat

[00:12:37] yourself in like you think all the time, this negative self-talk.

[00:12:42] And even if you convince yourself that now I need to go for the self-love, if you only change

[00:12:52] that pattern, the habit of self-talk, you will just change the topic.

[00:12:59] That's where the paradigm shift has to happen.

[00:13:05] And you have to rewire the link that you have.

[00:13:08] It's not about, okay, I will stop the self-talk and start the self-love.

[00:13:16] But if you keep talking to yourself, okay, now I need to self-love myself.

[00:13:21] This is how I, but when it comes to the action and you flip and go back to the habit, which

[00:13:29] was formed during the decades, let's don't forget that if the habit was built during the

[00:13:35] decades, it's easier to go back.

[00:13:38] Why?

[00:13:38] Because we are wired biochemically.

[00:13:43] When the biochemistry in our body shifts, then you go back.

[00:13:48] Why?

[00:13:49] Because we have different levels of the habit formation and which is not very good highlighted

[00:13:57] because people are trying not to confuse people.

[00:14:00] So we have several levels for the biochemistry shift.

[00:14:07] The first, which is the basic, is the hormones.

[00:14:11] And the nature designed our body to survive in that particular moment.

[00:14:18] So the nature created the hormones to keep your organs functioning before even going for your

[00:14:28] reaction.

[00:14:29] So that's the basic.

[00:14:31] Then if there is a need, there is a second level, which is the reaction of the body to

[00:14:37] the first shift and then the reaction shift.

[00:14:42] This is narrow science.

[00:14:45] This is when neurotransmitters are synthesized and they are synthesized only when we assess

[00:14:53] the situation.

[00:14:54] Because mostly it's very common to say dopamine, serotonin, those are the hormones of happiness,

[00:15:00] right?

[00:15:01] Those are neurotransmitters and they are produced only when we assess the situation.

[00:15:09] So we see it's good for us and our body starts to produce that.

[00:15:15] And that's where you can break the habit going back to negative.

[00:15:20] So if you start the shift towards the negative self-talk and you assess the situation is not

[00:15:29] very good, let's say it's not very beneficial for you.

[00:15:32] So you have that starting self-negative talk.

[00:15:36] That's where you can break the pattern.

[00:15:39] You can admit that the situation is not very beneficial, but you have the second choice

[00:15:48] to change that.

[00:15:51] How you see the situation.

[00:15:53] Is it the challenge that you can learn and grow?

[00:15:56] Or is this the challenge that will defeat you and keep you where you are and belittle you?

[00:16:04] So that's your second choice.

[00:16:06] Because the first choice, which comes from the habits we built over the decades, that's

[00:16:13] harder to break versus to create the second choice.

[00:16:17] Not the first choice.

[00:16:18] Because that's where the confusion is.

[00:16:22] People are triggered by the biochemistry and the biochemistry takes you back to your pattern.

[00:16:28] But you have the second choice.

[00:16:29] Go for the better solution.

[00:16:32] As there is a really very good saying, and I love it.

[00:16:36] Either you are the lesson or you are the example.

[00:16:40] That's your choice.

[00:16:41] Do you want to be the lesson for somebody?

[00:16:44] Everybody would go like, don't be as she is or he is.

[00:16:49] Or you are the example.

[00:16:50] Be as she is or he is.

[00:16:53] That's on you.

[00:16:56] That was interesting.

[00:16:58] That was interesting.

[00:17:00] It was.

[00:17:01] So as you were speaking, I was hearing you say a lot.

[00:17:06] And I want to ask you about this.

[00:17:08] It was something that Bob Proctor has said.

[00:17:10] And he said about doing from the inside out.

[00:17:14] Whether then the outside in is where we get triggered more.

[00:17:18] Because we are more of a visual.

[00:17:19] And we see that's where our emotions go from the outside in.

[00:17:23] You know.

[00:17:24] For me.

[00:17:25] And I'm just going to be.

[00:17:27] When I heard that.

[00:17:28] And I've been listening and reading this book for probably.

[00:17:33] Maybe I'm on day 50.

[00:17:36] Okay.

[00:17:38] Yeah.

[00:17:38] Oh yeah.

[00:17:39] On day 50.

[00:17:40] And so.

[00:17:41] I've literally been cleaning.

[00:17:43] Like actionable things cleaning.

[00:17:45] The one thing that I said.

[00:17:46] I made the decision.

[00:17:49] To change.

[00:17:51] You know.

[00:17:52] And what I do understand.

[00:17:55] Is the second part.

[00:17:56] What you said.

[00:17:57] About the second decision.

[00:17:59] Is that I know.

[00:18:00] I'm 52 years old.

[00:18:01] And so those habits that I've had.

[00:18:03] For 52 years.

[00:18:05] First of all.

[00:18:06] We don't have those numbers.

[00:18:09] I love 52.

[00:18:11] I love 52.

[00:18:13] You can flip that.

[00:18:15] We only have 25.

[00:18:17] The rest is the life experience.

[00:18:21] But for that.

[00:18:22] You know.

[00:18:23] Just even.

[00:18:24] I have so many aha moments.

[00:18:26] Because now I'm so aware.

[00:18:28] Of.

[00:18:29] It all.

[00:18:30] Now.

[00:18:30] Before.

[00:18:31] I.

[00:18:31] I wasn't.

[00:18:32] So when I heard you say that.

[00:18:35] And understanding that.

[00:18:37] Saying about your second.

[00:18:38] You have a second choice.

[00:18:40] I totally understood.

[00:18:42] What you meant by.

[00:18:43] You have a second choice.

[00:18:45] By having that first choice.

[00:18:47] And it's like that decision.

[00:18:48] I'm going to change.

[00:18:50] I'm just going to change.

[00:18:52] And that's it.

[00:18:53] But then there's.

[00:18:53] You can't.

[00:18:54] I mean.

[00:18:54] And I want to say this correctly.

[00:18:56] And make sure that I'm not.

[00:18:58] When you've been in this.

[00:19:01] Certain bad habit.

[00:19:02] Or paradigm.

[00:19:03] All of your life.

[00:19:04] And everything around you.

[00:19:05] Is of the same.

[00:19:06] And what he say.

[00:19:07] Is that.

[00:19:08] It's the harmony.

[00:19:09] The law of harmony.

[00:19:10] Of.

[00:19:11] This.

[00:19:12] Is.

[00:19:12] Is.

[00:19:13] Is.

[00:19:13] Difficult to do.

[00:19:15] When you are not aligned.

[00:19:17] Or when it's not.

[00:19:18] What is not.

[00:19:19] When you are aligned with the negativity.

[00:19:21] Yes.

[00:19:21] Right.

[00:19:22] Yes.

[00:19:23] Yes.

[00:19:23] And so.

[00:19:24] It happened to me.

[00:19:26] In real time.

[00:19:27] And this is how.

[00:19:28] I know that.

[00:19:30] Things are so aligned.

[00:19:31] With me.

[00:19:31] At this moment in time.

[00:19:32] Even you being here.

[00:19:34] On this show.

[00:19:36] In October.

[00:19:38] I was doing.

[00:19:39] The series called.

[00:19:40] The act of balance in life.

[00:19:42] I'm a Libra.

[00:19:44] Sign scales.

[00:19:46] Great.

[00:19:47] Everything was going great.

[00:19:48] And I taught.

[00:19:48] I mean.

[00:19:48] In September.

[00:19:49] Everything was going.

[00:19:50] All of a sudden.

[00:19:52] I was diagnosed.

[00:19:52] It was vertigo.

[00:19:55] Okay.

[00:19:56] All right.

[00:19:57] So I'm.

[00:19:58] I'm.

[00:19:58] I'm getting.

[00:19:59] I'm dizzy.

[00:20:00] Room dizzy.

[00:20:01] Balance.

[00:20:01] Off.

[00:20:02] Just everything.

[00:20:02] Just crazy.

[00:20:03] So now I'm preparing.

[00:20:05] In October.

[00:20:05] I'm preparing for.

[00:20:07] November show.

[00:20:09] November series.

[00:20:10] Which is.

[00:20:11] Living life abundantly.

[00:20:13] So I'm having difficulties.

[00:20:15] In October.

[00:20:16] Because.

[00:20:17] My health issues.

[00:20:18] Things are not just.

[00:20:20] Lining up.

[00:20:20] and i'm forcing i'm forcing things i'm forcing a situation that i'm not even in does that make

[00:20:29] sense yes i am so i i am breaking laws just all kinds of ways but that's where we are you have

[00:20:38] sometimes you have to break the law for the good unless it's yeah if the law doesn't serve you

[00:20:47] break it yeah but you know what in that case that law me breaking that law and pushing forward

[00:20:53] that caused me to call out i called out in a prayer and less than two hours later i got a call from my

[00:21:00] sister that sent me this she didn't know what was going on with me she was that a lady walked in my

[00:21:04] store and told me told me to look at this book and the book was change your life change your paradigm

[00:21:11] you see it's everywhere we just need to see the sun right that was it and i said send me a sign

[00:21:19] somebody send me something in two hours like bam there it is and then it was just like domino it

[00:21:25] was just like everything was just boom boom boom boom boom boom boom like from every guest that came

[00:21:30] through it was like every everything and it was so many aha moments that were happening it was happening

[00:21:38] before then but i tend to move very quickly i tend to move very very quickly i am a thinker i am a thinker

[00:21:49] and i am a doer and i'm a mover and a lot of times i'm not patient enough to really pay attention to the

[00:21:58] signs as i'm supposed to does that make sense that that makes a lot of sense because mostly i might do

[00:22:05] as well the same way like dive in and then figure out how it works you'll learn a lot of lessons by that

[00:22:13] but together uh you just move on because if you stay somewhere there is no guarantee that somebody

[00:22:22] would come grab your hand and walk you through the process so you might end up standing there

[00:22:30] waiting for something while you get um all the resources and you can be become by the way somebody

[00:22:40] who would grab somebody's hand without even knowing where do you go but take them with you so you in some

[00:22:52] situations how the leaders are born leaders are not born from there are some leaders are born by nature

[00:23:00] but sometimes the life just uh force you to become because if in the environment you are the only one

[00:23:09] who wants the change and you see that the people behind you if you don't lead them through the tunnel that

[00:23:16] you are going through the darkness they might stay on the other side of the tunnel and really

[00:23:24] really really lose more then you force yourself to become the the power of the will and to take

[00:23:35] to take people with you because that's sometimes you are not the natural leader you are not born in

[00:23:44] into that role but you become because life force you to become hmm and it's very interesting because

[00:23:54] if you are aligned with your environment which is negative you would become negative as well otherwise

[00:24:03] you have you cannot be aligned so you have to live it's very it's very true that you are the like the

[00:24:13] in between five people that you surround yourself or you spend the time most of the most of the time that

[00:24:22] you have during the day because if you bring on the table something which is discouraging to the other

[00:24:28] they will never connect with you so pay a lot of attention whom do you surround yourself with

[00:24:37] at the moment i don't even push myself i put myself in such uncomfortable situations

[00:24:45] that would push me to grow more than if i would go gradually because where i am at the moment and where i

[00:24:54] want to be there is a huge gap and if i go gradually it will take me years so i go in in the environment

[00:25:04] where i feel myself like imposter i don't belong there i really don't belong there because i was in science by

[00:25:12] the way i was in science for over 20 years and i was very successful that's where i think so that i belong

[00:25:20] to consider experiments read the literature discuss the ideas and be perfect to find something new

[00:25:30] even when i found something completely new in science i shared with the business person

[00:25:38] they were like can we sell it do you see the difference the paradigm

[00:25:43] in science it was oh my goodness we found completely new thing for the business person can we sell it there

[00:25:50] is no value in what you found and i was in between i was transitioning from science into business and

[00:25:58] learning the mindset the numbers and shifting but sometimes you have to be not comfortable to be

[00:26:07] uncomfortable this is what i learned about myself because if you convince yourself that you need to be

[00:26:15] comfortable to be uncomfortable the chances that you would sabotage yourself are nearly 90 percent

[00:26:21] you know why because if you live in the if you call the zone where you are unhappy unhealthy and unfulfilled

[00:26:30] to be a comfort zone you signal your brain that being unhappy unhealthy and unfulfilled is comfortable for you

[00:26:41] that's how your brain decodes the situation and then you convince your brain that now we need to be

[00:26:48] more uncomfortable your brain that you can be more uncomfortable your brain would be yes i don't want

[00:26:52] that i stay where i am because you signaled me that being unhappy is comfortable for you but when you flip and

[00:27:02] you make where you are in that bubble to be so uncomfortable that you don't want to stay there

[00:27:10] you will quit you will never want to be back so that's the trick that i found for myself to be true

[00:27:18] and that's why it took me one moment to let the past go to leave everything behind which was

[00:27:27] comfortable which was perfectly known then safety net all the labels or the degrees that i had from science

[00:27:35] and start not from scratch but start from the darkness where together with all the um needs that i knew that

[00:27:46] everything that i needed to shift in my mindset and to move forward and to fill that gap that was a mess i

[00:27:56] was in the mess for three years but what i found and i developed the technique not to be comfortable to be

[00:28:05] uncomfortable but to be uncomfortable yeah be comfortable right so you mentioned three things

[00:28:13] you mentioned three key elements you mentioned tolerance um plasticity and adaption can you can you

[00:28:19] break that down for our listeners yes absolutely so the tolerance is the level when you are you can tolerate

[00:28:29] let's say if you go let's go with the temperature because that's the easiest to follow if you take the

[00:28:36] person from minus 100 fahrenheit and into or from plus 100 fahrenheit into minus 100 uh fahrenheit what will happen

[00:28:47] without any equipment without any preparation the person will not survive because they don't have that adaptation

[00:28:55] so but if you take the person from minus one plus 100 to plus 99 plus 90 plus 80 so that's the tolerance where you grow go

[00:29:10] gradual and you let yourself to raise your tolerance towards particular thing

[00:29:18] the plasticity is when you go too fast you break down that's your plasticity that's your limit you should not go that fast and to overcome that or the leap that exists the gap

[00:29:35] that's your plasticity when you can break or the unchangeable um shift can happen

[00:29:42] the adaptation the adaptation is something in between the tolerance which you can tolerate perfectly without

[00:29:49] changing anything the plasticity where you have to make the shift or you can break and then you start to adapt

[00:29:59] so when you start to adapt and raise your tolerance let's say you expand your comfort zone and whatever was

[00:30:09] uncomfortable for you becomes comfortable for you but without the um the chance to escape and to go back to your comfort zone because you started to extend your comfort zone whatever was not comfortable for you

[00:30:25] now it's okay when you go to the gym the first day you feel fatigue the second day the soar in your muscles you cannot move because there is a pain

[00:30:37] but one week the second week the one month you raise your tolerance you cross that plasticity and you start to adapt so everything which is beneficial for you if you go gradually and you adapt yourself and you start to feel what is beneficial for you you will change your life

[00:31:03] um beautiful thank you thank you thank you for sharing that now you um you mentioned that there's a huge nuisance when we overlook

[00:31:11] can you share more about that if you see the bigger picture if you let's say you want to assemble the puzzle and you

[00:31:21] have the million of the pieces what is the first reaction if you are doing the puzzle for the first time you are completely confused majority of people would stop

[00:31:32] sabotage they would be like i don't want to dive into that so but once you start to assemble you see

[00:31:41] the bigger picture gets to the point so even the biggest picture in the world 10 years ago we didn't know anything about ai

[00:31:53] now the first year we were scared the second year we were trying to raise our tolerance to adapt now

[00:32:02] we cannot imagine living without ai yeah but if i would tell you the first year when ai came in and it was

[00:32:12] already occupying and threatening people to replace them people were scared yeah so when you see the bigger

[00:32:23] picture as it is you will sabotage because it's scary but when you split the picture into actionable steps

[00:32:33] and you start building the stopping um points that can be the base for you then you will move forward

[00:32:43] because you when if you have the middle stopping point you will step there wait for a particular period

[00:32:53] adapt and raise your tolerance and then move forward while if you jump from here into there and you are not

[00:33:01] prepared you will jump back to your comfort zone so split it make the actionable steps and then move forward

[00:33:10] it beautiful thank you thank you for that all right dr axe is there anything else that you want to share with

[00:33:18] my listeners what our listeners here today i want to share one lesson which helped me a lot and it relates

[00:33:26] to asking for help um like i i would ask for a favor imagine that you need help and you convince yourself

[00:33:38] i need help what the emotion you feel inside of you like powerless

[00:33:46] not knowing what to do confused lost now imagine that every time when you need any help

[00:33:57] you start triggering that biochemistry and you don't receive the help at particular

[00:34:04] moment you will convince yourself that you are helpless instead of just say i need assistance

[00:34:13] i need guidance i need more information don't ask for help when there is no need for help

[00:34:26] because the help biochemistry is different versus when you say i need assistance

[00:34:31] even the tonality of asking for help can you help me i need assistance you see the same

[00:34:40] but when you convince yourself that i just need the assistance you help your body to overcome particular barrier in your body

[00:34:49] and then from within you help yourself okay if that's one person didn't help didn't assist you then you will go for something else versus if you ask for help

[00:35:02] it helped me huge times i rarely ask for help within the last three years and life started to magically change

[00:35:14] change because even within i know that i don't need help i have the resources if somebody doesn't guide me

[00:35:24] i will find it within me and start to guide somebody else that's that was i believe one of the biggest lessons that i learned

[00:35:35] within the last during the transformation wow that is a that is a very interesting because you know so many times you hear people say

[00:35:44] um you can't do it by yourself you know like you can't do it by yourself you know you need some help

[00:35:50] you know and for you to give that that's that's interesting you need help you see even when we go for the um let's like the web page there is a help why help

[00:36:02] assistance it's you offer me the assistance but the tiny word which sits the in people that they need help

[00:36:13] and the help our brain doesn't decode as assistance yeah the difference so the meaning the word has in your brain the same as you convince yourself you are in your comfort zone and you are unhappy you signal your brain that you are comfortable to be unhappy the same when you ask for help and somebody doesn't help you

[00:36:37] it directly goes you are helpless they didn't help you i i understand i see i see yeah i understand that for me it was

[00:36:48] huge difference wow you you know when i went oh wow you know so the reason why is because when i say

[00:36:55] worries are so magical when you use the words words are so magical and i remember reading the four agreements

[00:37:03] beautiful book remember reading for four agreements and i remember the very first agreement is use your

[00:37:09] words and and understanding the words that are coming out of your mouth and understanding that when you say

[00:37:15] these words and how someone receives those words i remember having this conversation with my daughters

[00:37:21] especially my middle baby and i was always a one a person that always wanted to be responsible on how

[00:37:30] someone receives the words that i that come out of my mouth is because for some reason even before i read

[00:37:36] the book i knew that the words that i said were powerful even though i knew that my intentions of the words

[00:37:42] wasn't how it was received on that end when i tell you through all of this growing all of this transformation that i've

[00:37:54] been through that i'm going through i came to understand that it wasn't totally my responsibility

[00:38:01] because on the other end of that there was work that that person had to do so but what it what i've

[00:38:08] learned is that i have to be conscious of the words that i am using so when you talk about help

[00:38:15] when you talk about help help is it seems like such a just an easy word is four letters four letters that's it four letters but with that four letters there are so many

[00:38:28] little words up under that there are really being helpless you know that i'm needy you know that i'm powerless you know that i'm weak you know all of those words go up under that one word help

[00:38:44] and that is it's so profound when you say that because if in your mind you have that habit of self negative self-talk one word can trigger immediately the negative memory i will bring another example if i say to the person who loves the ice cream ice cream they they don't think about the ice cream

[00:39:10] they go in particular details for the flavor the temperature of the ice cream because some people love the melted ice cream some people love directly from the fridge like there are such a nuances some people love with the topping versus if the person had the strategy while eating the ice cream

[00:39:33] the word ice cream will trigger immediately that memory unless you break it and you disassociate the word ice cream with the tragedy the person will go immediately to that so when you ask for the help you don't think about the help your memory triggers immediately the cases when people didn't help you

[00:40:03] you were in the danger and it was life threatening so the the reason that you need to be cautious about the words is not the word that you use it's what it triggers in your memory if i tell somebody who had a full family family

[00:40:29] and they had really perfect dynamic in the family the word associates with the happiness versus if the person was abandoned one word will trigger all the cascade of the emotions and you lose the person at that moment so if it's not the word help itself it's what it triggers inside you it's not the word magic if you say magic but for me magic doesn't

[00:40:59] it doesn't exist you would say it was magical day i would be like okay versus if somebody believes in magic you would say it's great let's feel this gratitude the person directly goes into this mindset of the gratitude and they feel the gratitude to you as well yeah it's all that we are biochemistry driven creatures

[00:41:29] the fluids play 100% the fluids play 100% role in our body why the scientists are telling the gut is our second brain because 80% of serotonin which is considered to be the hormone of happiness is produced in our gut

[00:41:52] that's why the healthy diet is part of self love it's not you to eat healthy because it's it's healthy because you love your body you want to enjoy your body longer yeah so everything is the part of self love but self love shouldn't be only self talk i love myself i love myself i love myself it's every action that you take

[00:42:19] how do you demonstrate how do you demonstrate how do you demonstrate the self love the same as how do you demonstrate the productivity why when somebody asks about the productivity we are perfect okay this is the numbers this is what i did but once we come for the self love we don't have the measurable steps for the self love how would you consider that you

[00:42:42] self love yourself self love what is the actual the measurable step today i stopped negative self talk

[00:42:56] self love and completely reversed and instead i used 10 minutes for the self love because the self love the same words that you say they are the start for the biochemistry of the self love and then step by step you replace the old one because that's also one thing that i would love to mention so the pattern uh when you start to break

[00:43:24] because normally people think that i will create the new one and that's fine that's not that's why we sabotage and we uh slide right back into our comfort zone because the pattern when you uh break the pattern is not to create the new one and only to create the new one to replace the old one you have to stop feeding this one yeah because you cannot feed both

[00:43:48] they are both they are both and this one has decades you've built this is stronger so the negative is stronger can you imagine how much um efforts you have to put to build the new one so the pattern change is only when you stop feeding the negative and start feeding only the positive please remember that's the key to uh breaking the pattern yeah beautiful thank

[00:44:18] thank you doctor thank you doctor now before we wrap up i love to know what's next for you and where can our listeners learn more about your work and your book my book i have the landing page so they can find the the book over there it's on uh facebook and also linkedin i'm quite um active on linkedin the book is also on amazon definitely of a higher price so uh if they prefer the book is

[00:44:48] unbelievable it explains the pattern how we build through our childhood for my case and then explains through the biochemistry that triggers and then how to let the past go so once you uh break crack the code and uh obviously i'm starting the public speaking i'm going for the tadex talk because i found completely new two nuances which are not described

[00:45:18] i believe i believe is going to be uh phenomenal and leave many people speechless and help that's the the most important it's not about to impress people because i already came on the other side of the tunnel i went through the darkness the darkness which i wish i didn't need to go through but it's really to help because once you learn the lesson you want to help somebody behind you

[00:45:47] don't repeat it because it's really painful it's it's something that you don't want to do and i found my nice bike that's something that i'm working on the next it's a bit

[00:46:00] mystery covered because nice bike is not very common thing to say but it's the word which people associate you with so i found my nice bike

[00:46:11] beautiful beautiful beautiful so i'm in the back so i think you to give me just thank you

[00:46:13] beautiful thank you so

[00:46:15] i love it i love that i do all right my beautiful people out there we just had a great

[00:46:21] i love itand为什么 fast number seven cameras� that's hilarious tysięola amanda

[00:46:40] ear to ear because just with just everything that's been happening this year has been truly

[00:46:45] transformative for me. It's been a transition. It's been moving in so many different ways,

[00:46:51] but it's elevation for me. And I just love that we are able to share it right here on the Season

[00:46:57] of Self Love podcast. And I thank you for joining me. Thanks for hosting and thanks for doing that.

[00:47:03] First of all, for yourself, for your kids and for the audience. It's a great thing.

[00:47:09] Thank you. Thank you. And again, my listeners, thank you for joining us. Until next time,

[00:47:13] I want you to remember to love yourself first. Remember, it's all about having an intimate

[00:47:18] relationship with yourself. Remember, fall in love with yourself. All right. Until next time,

[00:47:24] this is Naomi Banks. Listen to the Season of Self Love. Have a good one.

[00:47:29] Thank you for joining us on this journey of discovering and empowerment here at the Season

[00:47:34] of Self Love podcast. Remember, embracing self love is a continuous journey. And we're so glad to have

[00:47:41] you with us. So if you enjoyed today's episode, please leave us a review. And don't forget to join

[00:47:47] our community on Facebook at Season of Self Love. Connect with like-minded individuals who are also

[00:47:54] on their self love journey. Now, if you have any questions or topics that you'd like for us to explore,

[00:47:59] we'd love to hear from you. Email us at seasonofselflove at gmail.com and let your voice be heard.

[00:48:07] So until next time, take a moment for yourself today. And remember, you are worthy of love,

[00:48:13] joy, and all the beautiful things that life has to offer.