Reclaiming Your Narrative: New Beginnings with Melony Hill | Transformation Tuesday w/ Nyomi Banks

Welcome to the Season and Self Love Podcast. I am your host Namibank saying, I am thrilled to have you joined me on this transformative journey. You see, every day we dive into a powerful conversation about self discovery, healing and empowerment. This podcast is brought to you by Ax Naomi and Elevate Me Self Discovery, where we believe that loving yourself is the first step to live in a fulfilling life. You can expect insightful discussions, practical tips, and inspiring stories. Plus we're occasionally welcome special guests who will share their unique perspectives on self love and personal growth. So get comfy, grab your favorite beverage, and let's embark on this journey together. Because it's time to embrace the beautiful person that you are. So let's elevate our lives one episode of time. Now, let's get started direct my viewsful people who well, welcome back to this Season and Set Love podcast. We get your daily dose of inspiration. I'm your host, Naomi Banks and family. Today is Transformation Tuesday and it's a special one. This is a special one because I have this young lady that I've met oh many moons ago, many many moons ago. But our story has been so inspiring as I've been watching her transformation, and I'm just so excited to just dive into this powerful conversation. You know, this month is all about new beginnings, writing with towards the end of it, and so I want to make sure that we was to bring her on, really bring her on here and tell her story because you know, this year is all about transformation, growth and embracing opportunities that come, you know, with us staying fresh. Remember, this year is the year of the Rebirth. And today's episode is, like I said before, it is so extra extra special because we have an incredible guest joining us and I'm gonna say her name. Her name is Miss Melanie Hill. Not only is she a powerful advocate for mental health and the leader creating spaces for healing through her platform Stronger than Struggles, I mean, she's here to share her journey and empower us to reclaim our narratives and take control of our personal stories. But before we get into that, I want to remind you about our free down Low the Year Rebirth workbook. And this workbook is designed to help you guide you through your themes we're exploring this year with offering exercise journals, promise and actionable steps for your journey of transformation. So make sure you grab the copy. It's available now on our website the Season and Stuff Love podcast as well. Now, before we bring miss Melanie to the stage, you know we got to do it, We're going to take a quick break and even come back. All right, it's you, Gourd, god Is and everybody on this Season and Stuff podcast, and we'll be right back. Washington wells into two focuses on healing always for me. If I look good, then I feel good. If I feel good, then I share the good. If I share the good, then I celebrate the good. If I celebrate the good, then I live the good. I can be paid to be migrated, but I have to learn the good to be the good. So what does it take to be the greatest? It's as simple as a free fifteen minute consultation. Be kind to yourself and you'll all us heystraa gird you got it now me banks and make sure you tune in every three Thursday night. Naomig, you have podcast where we talk about everything you love, sex, relationship, culture differences and so much more by bridging the gap. Between them all, and we even talk. About the spectre of livening. You need to stop buy me and dot com cod as well as the BTV three. So you have some amazing guests that come frol You'll never know. Just make sure you tune me at Thursday nine six pm or six percent of time. Go to exlam dot com. And tell them Nami Sea. All right, beautiful people will welcome back. We have this melody here. Hey, beautiful, how are you? I was feeling a little sunshiny this morning. You know, it's a part of my color. Yes, I saw it that I love your website. I love it, Thank you, I really do. I love it. I'm so glad that you're here. You know, this past weekend was a v and weekend here and I want to show my face. Yet I went back and I went and showed my face, and I actually felt like I was like, oh, okay. You know how sometimes we trans we transition and transform a move and we think we have to remove ourself completely. I learned, yes, thank you, yes, But it was something that I learned this past weekend that I definitely want to share with the listeners. And we'll talk after this come but for you again, thank you. You know I've been trying to get you on this one it asks Miami for quite some time. But I think this is right here where we aligned at, right here speaking on this. So before I get you this talking conversation, we do a nice little guided meditation here first, just to ground ourselves, just to open up the you know, open up the conversation. All right, So, my beautiful people, you know how I do it. If you just find a nice comfortable position, all right, take a deep breath in. Close your eyes. Take a deep breath in through your nose now it's hells slowly through your mouth. Feel your body begin to relax as you take another deep breath in, allowing yourself to release any tension or stress. Now I want you to picture yourself standing at the beginning of a beautiful path, and this path represents your journey, a transformation and rebirth. Now, with each step forward, I want you to let go of your past and welcome the possibilities of new beginnings. I want you to breathe in and feel renewal, feel rebirth, and feel transformation, and ast you exhale. I want you to exhale doubt, shame. I want you to take one last deep breath in now, excel, and when you are ready, please open your eyes. Thank you. All right, my beautiful people. If you are new here to the Season and Suppler podcast, this is something that we do every day and Monday Friday, just groundless before we get into this nice deep conversation here. All right, Miss Melanie, Hey, hey. I really enjoyed that. Thank you, thank you. It's a story behind that. I remember we're first doing the season and self love, and I was kind of nervous because it's something totally different than what people will see me as talking about love, sex, relationship. So when coming with that doing that, I found myself doing a nice meditation and I was like, oh, I need to do this all the time because it truly opens up, you know, and get people prepared for whatever this conversation is supposed to be. Yeah, yeah, I enjoyed it. I needed it. Thank you, You welcome, you, welcome. All So let's jump right into the conversation. Let's jump right in, right in. All right. So you have such an aspiring story, and can you start by sharing a bit about your journey and how you came to create stronger than my struggles. Well, you know, so I'm a survivor many times over. I met when I was briefly in the industry, but I'm a survivor many times over. And being a survivor's what led me to the industry. You know, I'm one of those young girls who was unfortunately prayed on. And as a young girl, not only was I prayed on, but my mother gave me to an older man. So that's a whole different story. But because I was so used to being touched and paid at a young age to be touched, it was a very easy jump and transition at fourteen when my mother said I'll buy you deodorant, when your father paid child support to end up in the streets right right, And so when you're in the streets as a young girl, and this is before the internet takes over, you know, your easy prey. But then when the Internet took over, it's like I can make money doing what I've been taught to do online and I don't have to be in so many dangerous situations. And so that's what I jumped to do. And coming out of the adult industry, you know, I came out because I got so sick. I had five from my algia, and I was also struggling with my mental health. And when I retired, you know, people said, you're never going to be anything else, You're never going to have anything. People are always going to look at you as a whore. And I realized that I was so sick and what if I died and that's all people knew me as And so I was like, that really is scary, and I really I wanted people to know that I was intelligent, that I was a victim, that I didn't end up in this industry because I wanted to. But that was the normal trajectory from being abused and then thrown in the street at a young age, and then wanting to not be unsafe when the Internet made it easier to make money doing what I was taught to do. So, you know, I felt like that was just my trajectory. But now that I was sick, I wanted people to know that I had more to offer than what I had been showing. And so it became really important to me to take my name back because I thought I was going to die, you know, and so I had to like take my name back by shifting my target audience. I had to shut down some of my websites. I had to stop using my main Facebook page for a long time and create a new one under my middle name so that women could see and respect me versus the men who were used to following me. And in twenty seventeen, I was in the process of doing all of that transitioning when I lost the two most important people in my life. Like I'd been going to therapy for seven and a half years, three days a week, and I walked to my therapist's office one day and she said, I don't take your insurance anymore. And at that time, my best friend, who was sixty eight but had been in a coma for a year, he was going too because he was in his coma. And so I was losing like the two closest people to me. And I went home and I just was like, this is it. I quit and I laid down in bed and waited to die. I was like, I'm just gonna lay here until God takes me. Life just kept happening around me. But God kept saying, You're stronger than your struggles. You're stronger than my struggles, and like that, stronger than my struggles. Kept hitting me, and I didn't know what it meant. But as a businesswoman, I went and bought the domain. And so I bought the domain and I sat on it and I didn't know what to do until God started telling me, you have to write, And so I started writing, and I started telling my story. And now I've published like eight books. But I started writing and sharing pieces of my story. And as I shared pieces of my story, I noticed that people were really resonating with it. And that was twenty seventeen and it's twenty twenty five and we're still here. That was so powerful. Family listeners, I want you to do take a moment to just reflect on what Miss Melanie was just speaking. And I want to ask you all a question, because you heard how she was only her narrative. Question for you, how are you you owning your narrative? Are you living the past to find you? Or are you rewriting your story? You know, that's a lot of things that I talked about here. It's about owning my story and knowing what my story is. I always say, never judge the book by its cover, but take the time to read the pages within the book. Yeah, yeah, yeah, And. My coaching business. That's actually my tagline is create the life you desire and deserve, no matter the life you were given. Beautiful, beautiful. That is so beautiful, you know a lot of times, especially when you I've been in many careers. The adult industry is just a nice little ten years of my life and I was only really six or seven years active, but it was very pivotal in my life because it allowed me to have this platform. As I said, that is a part of my character. You know, I don't have your story. You know, my story is totally different. I chose and decided, as a grown ass woman divorce to get into this industry of financial purposes, not really understanding that, Wow, this can really be on you forever. I didn't know that. But it's not a stain for me. And that's the thing, this is not a stain for me. I would no longer allow anyone to shame me for believing in what I believe in. You understand what I'm saying, And it took a moment to get here. You know how we can be. You know we sprowled Black wom When you know that test how we have. But then sometimes when we alone in our bedroom and and our band, we second guess ourself. So through all of this healing process, I've been retired from the industry for thirteen years now, but thirteen years now, and it took me thirteen years to be comfortable with own of this. And this is the whole A lot, amazing a lot, you know. And when I see you, it's you just with all of that amazing which you have. You know what I mean? You know, So, sus, keep doing your thing, Keep doing your thing. We're gonna have some more conversations. But I just wanted to give you this right here on on on this platform, right now, and to keep doing your thing and do it positive with love. Lead lead in love with it. They lead in love with it. Keep doing it and lead in love with it. It feels so good to have that coming from someone I respect so much. Thank you, You're welcome you. I mean, this is this is what this this is, this, this is what this is. You building, you built a safe space for conversation. This is what this is. This is a safe space for conversation. This is where we need to love on one another. This is when we need to love on one another. If not anything, now, how the world is happening right now? Ooh, maybe do. You know you're the only person I chose to stay in contact with, Like I am so out of that I don't speak to anyone in the industry. You're the only person I chose to stay in contact with, Like, I really really have so much respect for you. I look at the pictures that we have together, and there's like this one way, I'm hugging you for dear life. And I don't know if you know how much it meant to me like to meet you, because I always saw you as more like again, like I didn't know you were divorced than a grown woman when you started, but you felt like a. Mom, thank you, thank you, and you know what? And I got that this weekend. Like I mentioned before the beginning, I was at AVN this weekend during that convention, just doing some kind of networking and just to see, just to go back and see because I myself, as you did that kind of like not being on the scene as much. But when I went there, I realized, no, I'm supposed to be in this scene in a different form, but this is where I am supposed to be, you know, with them, I'm not supposed to just leave them behind because what I saw in their eyes, they couldn't see it right now. They can't see those things because society will tell them they are not worthy to see that light in their eyes. You know what I mean? Yeah, So you know, if anything, if anything, this conversation we like for you, it's like, well, maybe I can go back a little bit and grab whoever needs to be grabbed. You understand what I'm saying because even though we might have somewhat of the same the same talk, but your language is different. Our language is different, Your language is different from mine, your story is different from mine. When you can reach women that I probably can't even reach, or even me that I can't even reach, you understand what I'm saying and what we need to do as a community is everybody got a different voice that speak a different language to somebody else. It might look the same, but it ain't. I actually, I was live streaming on TikTok the other day and I had a room full of people, a couple hundred, and I had girls telling me that they were crying listening to me talk about my story of my transition and telling them that they still deserve certain lifestyles and things. You know, it was beautiful. Yeah, yeah, you know, one thing is stanned out because I've been watching you for a long time. I've been watching you for a long time just with the things that you've been doing. And one thing that stands out on your work is how you created a safe space for people to talk and people to share. Because I've been watching your tiktoks, I've been watching that and their experience. So why is this so important, especially for undeserved communities. Because we never had safe spaces. So I'm gonna tell you the most detrimental sentence ever other than the black community. I'm gonna say it right now, what happens in the South stays in this house. That that's alone has made so many people suffer, and has caused so many mental health challenges, and has created an unsafe space in people's homes that they are seeking safe spaces from total strangers because they won't be judged. That literal one sentence, what happens in this house stays in this house is the reason why so many people who look like us are suffering. Yeah, you know, that's just using it. I know you're putting that on a t shirt, right. I mean, I know it's a very popular saying, but just just knowing what that same means and then putting I'm healed or I'm healing with that or not. Don't be giving my ideas to your whole audience. All right, So, listeners, you know how we always I got. I have another question for you listeners now you just heard what miss miss Melanie said, And then for listeners at home, I think about how you can create a safe space in your home, in your life. How can you whether it was friends, family, or even in your relationship with yourself, how can you create that safe space? So, Miss Melanie, this is what I want you to do. What advice would you give to my listeners on creating a safe space for themselves and also for others? Well, you know, first I was telling them it starts with journaling. It really does, because so many things that we feel like we have no place to say out loud, we can say in a journal. And it doesn't have to be one type of journaling. Journaling doesn't look like I just got to write right right right right. It could be the highlights, key points they call that bullet journally. It could be in an art form like you can draw, or you can use pictures and get your feelings and emotions out. It's a safe space to just be vulnerable, you know. I think that journaling allows us to figure out how to say the things we want to say to others. I think it's the safest space we have because we're alone with our thoughts. But you have to be honest with yourself in a journal so that you can find out what you need from that journal, Like am I writing just to get these things out? And my writing to find the goals that I need to move forward, and my writing to find a way to be able to speak to the people in my life who are hurting me. Because that way you can focus on what you need as you write, you'll be able to find the answers through your writing. I also think that finding and creating a safe space is knowing that it's okay to go to therapy. You know, in the black community, therapy is such a bad word. But as I said earlier, I needed a job for a while. I went to therapy three days a week seven and a half years. And I collect the disability check. So I collect disability. I have PTSD, depression and anxiety disorder. But what I get the disability check for is having something called dissociative identity disorder. So I'm technically legally multiple people in one body. And that's because so many things happened. As I said, you know, my mom gave me to someone. My mother was also an abusive relationship when I was growing up, and I witnessed that abuse and it didn't stop until our abuse. It was murdered in front of us. Like there are things that because eyewitnessed and I saw, and I didn't know how to deal with, and nobody wanted to go to therapy in the eighties this, you know, nobody did therapy. So going to therapy in my late twenties in the two thousands, it was unpacking twenty plus years of stuff where you could be in therapy now and healing and not having to go when you're older, and unpacking twenty thirty years of trauma that you weren't supposed to talk about. You didn't even know it was trauma, like because if you grew up in a house full of domestic balance, then it was normal. Yeah, traumatizing, you know, So I really advocate for therapy after journaling and then I will also say to be able to just talk about things like sometimes you have to talk about it openly and be the only one talking about it until other people feel safe enough to say me too. Yeah, you know, and I think about that especially when I say me too. Because when I retired from the industry, I became the face of my local SWAP chapter. You're familiar with swap the sex worker I would reach project. I think I've heard of it. Yeah, I think I've heard. Of my local SWAT project. Because all the other girls were currently still working, they were sex workers in the city and they were so afraid to advocate for themselves, and so I to be the face. And that ended up getting me featured in Time magazine because they wanted sex workers to talk about the me too movement and how we were still victims and it so scary because no one wanted to talk about it. So I ended up being the face to say sex workers can be assaulted too. You know, it has us even more often than you know, So you know, I think sometimes even being the one to stand up and say hey, and so someone else feels comfortable saying me too, Yeah, it was just as important. Yeah, I just I just sat here with something for a second. And remember when I was just saying not too long ago about our voices were staying the same, but our voices are different. Yeah, our voices are different, our language is different. And you know, because you do need to be on the forefront with just speaking to young ladies that you know, your your stories are similar. They are so similar to resonate today like okay, oh she got I can get through it. And I'm not trying to be funny, well looking at me, like my story is nothing like you know your story, you know what I mean. And it can be like wow, like okay, I see Naomi over there. You know, I don't know if I but she did it. Oh wait a minute, and that that's like I've been through, you know, and it's yeah, so I am here like yes, baby, whatever I need to do to try to help you in getting this out there, you know what I'm saying, getting your boys really out there more around then yeah, let's let's let's talk about it because it needs to. Let's team up with something. Let's do it because those young ladies and then that's in this industry need to hear those voices too and see how you transition and move forward, and you helping others do their struggles. Yeah, I'm grateful to have you in my corner. Yeah, yeah, I'm just I'm just happy that now that we are allowing now to be able to do it, and I hear certain things just trying to avoid, you know, get into this interview though. We're gonna keep going with this interview. Yeah. Yeah, Now you mentioned that you were you were kind of diagnosed with a mental illness, and I don't I want to make sure that that is said correctly. Now for you going through that and being able to, I guess you find who you are now speaking. How difficult was that for you? It's really difficult because that means that I have to break the rule of what happens in this house stays in this house. You know. Fortunately for my mother, she's gone now so she doesn't have to hear me telling all her dirty But my dad's still alive, you know, telling secrets, and I'm telling stories and I'm talking about things that even he wasn't aware of, and then I let him know that's your choice. You chose to not be an active father. Yeah. So the things that were happen and the way I was getting hurt, I look for you to come rescue me. Like, it's not like I don't know who my dad is. You've been around the whole time. You chose to avoid being a fault. You chose to raise other people's children. You were being a better step dad than a father. So you know, it's really hard because I have to say things that hurt people who love me, but they didn't love me enough to help me or to save me or protect me. Yeah, question, what does your healing look like? It looks like conversations like these. It looks like the conversation we had before we turned the camera on. It looks like saying the truth about what's going on around me so that I don't have to keep what's going on in this house in this house. Forgiveness, What does forgiveness look like for you? It looks different than it did when I was younger. So you know, like I said, my mom's no longer here. She died of HIV when I was seventeen, right, he called me on her deathbed. I'm actually the last person that she was able to use her voice with. And she called me to apologize, and I wouldn't accept it. I was so hurt by the things that she had happened and the things that she had done herself, that at seventeen, I wasn't mature enough to realize how much of a victim she had been when her stuff started, And that even like the abuser that we shared that he had kidnapped her at seventeen and taken her out of state to grim her. He was a much older man, Like I looked at it, like you chose to run off with this older man. But as I know him and I know her, and I know he was our abuse, so I have to accept that he kidnapped her. Yea, he forced her to leave me here. She abandoned me as a baby, you know. But she was a victim, And it took me so many years, you know, of processing my trauma through her to realize all of the ways that she was a victim. And then even with his murder, she was a twenty two year old widow with two children and we got on drugs in the eighties, I hated her more. But what did she know. She was just coming out of the abusive relationship. She knew nothing. She had all of this money, she tried to self heal. She didn't want to go to therapy. It was the eighties r oh yeah, uphill with drugs, and so you know, I had to as an adult. It wasn't until my thirties that I learned that a lot of the people who hurt me had no clue what they were doing, had no understanding of the lasting effects of their behavior. And because we were a community of people who didn't do therapy that I can't beat them up for never learning to be better. I can only change the trajectory for my family. I can only do the healing for myself and my son. You know, thankfully, through me, my father's starting to heal and to learn and not be angry about the ways he didn't show up, but to try to be better now, you know. Mm, thank you for sharing it, thank you, thank you for sharing that. Let's let's talk about now overcoming the obstacles. Let's talk about that. You know you share so much when you face so much in your challenges in your life. What strategies helped you to get through? Well, definitely, I'll go back again the journaling. So I journaled my whole life like because the home was not a safe space, I had no one to talk to, nowhere to go. So it was really important for me to always write. I always journaled. My first books came from my journals, you know, so it was really important to be able to even still publish the things that I've been saying to myself in silence. You know, therapy. I wouldn't be who I am if I didn't go to intense therapy for seven and a half years, three days a week. That was a choice to not say, oh, I'm gonna talk to a therapist here there, but to recognize that I was so damaged that I needed intense therapy so that I could heal. Again. It sometimes looked like isolation. I refuse to have holiday dinners with my family because they won't heal. And I'm not gonna sit at the table with these unhealed people and allow them to traumatize me. You know. So sometimes it looks like isolation from people you love. It looks like self care, it looks like days at the spa, you know, it really looks like doing what makes me feel good. Like today, I told you before we came on camera, I'm not in the best move today. I got some things going on. But I also told you that showing up on camera to share my story to help others helps me. Yeah, and I tunally do. Thank you for I do again. Just the courage behind it all is amazing, just the encourage it And I tell this to the listeners. When you choose to turn on this podcast and say I want to listen to the season off Love, You're being courageous enough to choose you to choose your own healing, to choose your own intimate relationship with yourself. You know, we have different tools that we give them, you know, through our conversations, you know, and in the books. And I always resonate like this, ain't like you highlighting the Bible. This are things that we want you to use in your everyday life, because these are things that we use in our life to get us to where we are today. Just this month, when I tell you I have outlined all of my shows, girl, I ain't speaking now one word of the outlines of my show because God was using me in real time, real time, and I couldn't do anything but come on this platform and be authentic in those conversations, because that is what we need. We don't need the fluffing and the puffin and all of that. We need some real shit so we can help others to get out of that real shit. We here to serve one another here, you know, Unfortunately some of our stories have to go through this. And one thing is that I teach teach is that these are unwritten gifts too we have gotten. It might seem so messed up to some people, like how you consess that? But you know what, you have to have a different mindset and different perspective. We can't stay in the victim mode. No, we have to be victorious. And when you look and you look at all of those things that we have been through in life, there were lessons that were learned. Those lessons are gifts for us, but for us a gift for someone else that our mind that can't see that or death and can't hear that. And I don't mean literally, I'm meaning like, if I'm speaking to that person right now, they toned death of Naomi, but they might can hear Melanie, they might can hear doctor Will, they can might can hear whatever. Guess that's on here. You understand what I'm saying. And so sometimes we have to be the eyes and the ears of nerves when they can't see in that mirror. What I've learned through my healing process and my healing is when I say, compared to a lot of people, it's a simple of abandonment, just abandonment. My mom and my dad send me to my grandmother to go live while they live a few blocks away so I can go to school. But that sense of abandonment issue for me, like, wait, y'all kept my sister there, so why I'm not there? You know as a child, you don't know that's a seven eight year old that's lived with their grandmother until they was twelve thirteen years old, wondering why I'm only could come on a weekend. That hits harder. But then as I see now going through my I'm like, okay, well, thank you though, because that that helped me. My abandonment is a part of a part of my superpower. Everything, everything that someone says to me that it's supposed to be a negative, my baby, that is your cry. That is my super power. Baby. Yes, people ask me why you don'na change your name. People not gonna take your serious with Nami Banks because God needs them and I need you to see the transformation and what you Dean is supposed to be oh or whatever you want to call it, whatever I am, I am a goddess. And you notice I am a goddess. I'm the evident artist on to go. You notice that I transitioned and I told people like I didn't disappear, I grew up. I'm go yeah, yeah, you can't touch me, but you can still worship me. But you know, my listeners out here, I want you to really when when you looking in that mirror, and I know yesterday doctor will and I we talked about your your personal mantrain if you haven't started it yet. I hope that this conversation is listening to Melanie and myself, that it gives you a certain kind of proof, you know, the way you look in that mirror and you say, Okay, hold on, I know I can get through this, you know what I'm saying, And just listening to Melanie's story like wow, you know that is you know that story right there? I can get through it. Yeah yeah. And it's you know about help too, and nothing wrong with helping asking for help. You know, she just talked about, you know, therapy. She went through seven and a half years of therapy. That's something we talked about here with doctor Will. You know, even coming to you know, life coach. I'm a life coach, You're a life coach. You know. One thing is what I love about doctor Will is that him being on this, he's been able to share things of his flock and he was like, I ain't never knew I was going to be doing this. But for you to see someone of that caliber that's able to break down those walls, what that do for everyday people that go in and you can let that wall down and you can trust that person because they've experienced that. So the thing is, healing comes in so many different forms, you know what I mean. It's not just one way. It is not just one way. And that's why I want to continue for the listeners out there, the family out there, to know that it ain't just one way. If it don't work this way, okay, that wasn't for me, let's go to another one. Okay, what go to another one? We have to keep on with this. It has to keep going repetitive. Remember what doctor Bob Practice said, repentitive, Like we listened to books on here. We have a book club. Girl. When I talk about healing I ain't messing about yourself love. Yeah, because I got kids out in this world. And if you've got some boards and some kids, I want them to be okay with you, because I'm making sure mine okay over here, you know what I mean. I love it. I love it because they need to hear from women that they look up to that's okay to change, to be who you want to be, to protect yourself, to practice self care that is not a dirty word. You know. They need to hear it. Yeah. One thing that I love is that I have a lot of men listeners. I have a lot of men listeners, And what has surprised me so much is that they are truly into the work of self love. People. Society, let me say this, Society would think that men don't want to hear that. Men. Yes, they do. Men are very vulnerable just as women are. They are, but society doesn't give them the room to be that. No, they're supposed to be hard, even though they deal with all the same things in the home growing up that we do, like they have self esteem issues, like they just wanted to be loved and healthy and stable too. Yes, yes, And so there are a lot of men male listeners on here that love they write in and they are truly open. They are truly open, and they are looking because they desire real, authentic relationships with other people that is not driven on ego, that is not driven on money. You know what I'm saying, That is truly driven in love for one another. Well, so many of them their mothers made them be the man at the house so young. Yeah yeah, yeah, So you know, I have some questions, but you have answered some of them. So what I want you to do is I want you to talk about your struggle. You're struggling your and I want to make sure I'm saying your organizations right. It's stronger than my struggles. Stronger than your struggle. Yeahs that's true. So if you can talk more about that, and if my listeners one to come, how can they get to you? How? You know all of that? So, as Naomi was saying, Stronger in My Struggles is an organization that I started to help survivors from all walks of life, people like myself, people who suffer from chronic illness, mental illness, who've seen things and feel like they limit them from being theirselves and they just want to be able to show up better in the world. That's me, So I try to be encouragement inspiration. I post a lot of daily encouragement on all of our social media platforms, and of course we're stronger in my struggles on almost everything like Facebook, Instagram. I think on TikTok for stronger community. But if you hashtag stronger than my struggles everywhere I got you, you'll find me. And of course the website is stronger than my struggles, right. I make it real easy, and I say that is stronger than my struggles because we all have them. Yes, me just living and trying to be an example of what it looks like in real time. To be stronger than my struggles is my gift to the world because I really want us all to be stronger together. And that's why on TikTok is stronger community, because it's really not about me. It's a community of survivors finding each other, healing together out loud, you know, and that's so important. So I just, I really I want people to know that no matter what you go through, as long as you have faith, as long as you love yourself enough to keep going, you can be whoever you want to be. Like you really can create the life you desire and deserve. It's gonna make you lose some people. You're not gonna be able to do everything you did in the past. You know, you're gonna be a new you, which means new things, which means new people, which means new environments. And it's gonna be hard at first. It's not gonna be easy. Like no, I'm not only saying you know, being able to show up as herself wasn't easy. But when she started hosting her weight loss journey and her exercise and stuff, when I started seeing her little drinks and stuff, I was like, Okay, we get to see a real person now, and that matters. And as you transition, you'll see yourself showing up authentically as the real you, not the you that you had to be, not the you that you were told you should be, but the real you. You'll see them start to peek out and just keep cultivating. M h yeah, beautiful, thank you, thank you, thank you. Let me ask you this. I know you got your book called Stronger than Life, gonna take that anything. We don't take that. Look, we have intentions and gratitude journal. That's called writing for my sanity. All the books on Amazon's I would just say, go to Amazon and type and Melanie Hill got you real easy. But no, we have like reflections of a survivor. We have the strength of a woman. But what's really important for me, I think is like the coaching programs that I created, Like I even put one in book form on Amazon. You're welcome. Otherwise you should be working with me directly. But I put this one on Amazon and book form. But like, no, nothing is really about me. Even my first four books we published were anthologies because I wanted to use my platform for other survivors to share their stories. I wanted them to have a safe space. Beautiful. Now my question to you, my question to you now today today, what is the title of your movie if it was just on you. Oh, I already know, so I'm working on it. It's called porn and purpose. Say it again, It's called porn to purpose, Okay. And if you hashtag that on TikTok without the oh, just prn to purpose, then you get my whole story. I told a story because I also had a sugar daddy that came in my life in twenty eighteen, and he was a man that I never met. He lives in Belgium. He bought these fifty thousand dollars teeth because my teeth was so messed up, and he changed the trajectory of my life and he funded stronger in my struggles for years. So he's the reason why we were able to do the Forll City tour and to take thirty women up and down the East Coast. He's the reason I was able to give so many people help and assistance. We relocated families, domestic violence survivors. We help people go into the mental hospital so they could heal. We gave up Christmas gifts. We were able to do Christmas gifts for one hundred children per year at one hundred dollars per child. Beautiful. So yeah, there's a whole story behind this help that I got in my transition. It was a total stranger that came and said, God told me to give you this money. Beautiful, Oh beautiful, beautiful. You know what, Melanie, Thank you, Thank you for just sharing your story. Thank you for just sharing your wisdom and all that you do. We will definitely talk some more, Yeah, because it has this has been a very powerful conversation. Family. I want to remember returning your narrative as a process, but it starts with one decision, and that's to take back control. So don't forget to download our Year of Rebirth workbook and just dive deeper into today's topic and share your reflections with us on social media using a hashtag hashtag year of Rebirth so we can celebrate your process together. And we'd be back tomorrow with a nice, amazing guest as well. Melanie, you do you have any last words for my listeners? Yeah, I'm stronger than my struggles and you are too. I know that's right. Thank you? All right, beautiful people, So until next time, I want you to remember you are stronger than your struggles and you are capable of so much greatness. I will see you next time. By thank you for joining us on this journey of discovering and empowerment here at the Season and Self Love Podcast. Remember, embracing self love is a continuous journey and we're so glad to have you with us. So if you enjoy today's episode, please leave us a review, and don't forget to join our community on Facebook at Season and Self Love connect with like minded individuals who are also on their self love journey now. If you have any questions or topics that you'd like for us to explore, we love to hear from you. Email us at season usseelf Love at gmail dot com and let your voice be heard. So until next time, take a moment for yourself today and remember you are worthy of love, joy, and all the beautiful things that life has to offer. Mm hmm