Welcome to the season and Self Love Podcast. I am your host, Namibanks, and I am thrilled to have you join me on this transformative journey. You see, every day we dive into a powerful conversation about self discovery, healing and empowerment. This podcast is brought to you by ax Naomi and Elevate Me Self Discovery. What we believe that loving yourself is the first step to live in a fulfilling life. You can expect insightful discussions, practical tips, and inspiring stories. Plus were occasionally welcome special guests who will share their unique perspectives on self love and personal growth. So get comfy, grab your favorite beverage, and let's embark on this journey together. Because it's time to embrace the beautiful person that you are. So let's elevate our lives one episode of time. Now, let's get started, all right, my beautiful people. Well, welcome back this season a suff Love Podcast. I'm your Hostnami Banks, and this is a special Mindset Monday episode when well continue our July series Preparing for Transformation. You know last week doctor Will he has shared some amazing things with anxiety and it's getting us prepared for this well, I have a very special guest today that we. Want to kind of get deeply and just really so let. Me say this because we have been trying to get this beautiful young lady in for the whole month. She was one of the first ones to volunteer to share her voice in this journey. And one thing is I'm deeply honor to just share this space with all of these women, but this one right here. Is because I see something. I see a likeness of me and what I mean a likeness to see I see another beautiful brown woman as well as myself, and it is and when I say this, listeners, and I hope y'all hear me clear, it's uncommon to see a lot of women of color that are being honest about their surgery and the expect journey and having a courage to share their stories with others. And so just knowing that this incredible woman is a warrior who I feel that story will inspire and empower you on Miss Lacy Aguire, she is a be a breast implant ill, this survivor who has transferred her pain into purpose and her struggle and the strength. You know, Lazy's journey is a beautiful reminder that sometimes our greatest challenge become our greatest teachers, and the healing often acts us to become the woman we never knew we needed to be. Her story demonstrates the incredible power of trusting our bodies, advocating for ourselves, and choosing love over fear even when the path forward seems uncertain. But before we bring Lazie to the days, let's take a quick break of right, it's a gurty goddess, not me Banks here on this season and stuff Love Podcast, and we'll be right back. And once into two focuses on healing. Always for me, if I look good, then I feel good. If I feel good, then I share the good. If I share the good, then I celebrate the good. If I celebrate the good, then I live the good. So I can be paid to be my greatest. But I have to learn the good to be the good. So what does it take to be the greatest? It's as simple as a free fifteen minute consultation. Be kind to yourself, and He'll always. Hey, it's your gourd. You got it now, me Banks, and make sure you tune in every three Thursday night. Need Tag and Naomi gg have podcast when we talk about everything you love, sex, relationship, coastal differences and so much more by bridging the gap between them all. And we even talk about this posture of listing. You need to stop by me and dot commod as well as the METG three so you have some amazing gifts that come froll you never know. Just make sure you tune met Thursday night six pm to six times, go to exlaim, dot com and telenamis true. All right, beautiful people will welcome back now. As I sit here preparing for my own expert journey. You know, I am continue amazed. By the courage and the resilience of the women who have walked this path before me. You know, each story that I hear as another layer of strength to my own journey and reminds me that we are a part of a journey that is so much bigger than ourselves, a community of women choosing truth over comfort and healing over hiding. As I mentioned before, Lacey's story is particularly powerful because it shows us that healing is not a destination, but a continuous journey of self discovery, self advocacy, and self love. Her experience demonstrates that sometimes the most difficult chapters of our lives become the foundation for our most authentic living well. Today we explore Lacey's. Beginning story, the awakening that changed everything, the courage it took to choose herself over societal expectations, and the beautiful transformation that has emerged from her commitment to healing. Lacy, beautiful, thank you for being here with us today, and I know it takes tremendous courage just to share your most vulnerable story. How are you. I'm good. I am good. Thank you for asking how are you? I'm good. I'm good as I'm two weeks out and so I am ready. I am ready to join this amazing club. I am excited for you. I am five weeks out and I can all I can say is wow, what a difference. Beautiful, beautiful, Well, before we get into it, let's hold that for a moment, and I want to do we do a nice grounding meditation before we get into the topic. And here, all right, my listeners, right here, you know how we do. If you could just get into a nice comfortable position, all right. Place both hands Jills on your heart, and take three deep breath, three deep loving breaths, and now feel your heart beating steadily, reliably, keeping you alive and vibrant. In this moment, announcind waves of gratitude to your body for everything that it has carried, everything that it has endured, and everything that it continues to do for you each and every day. Thank your body for its wisdom, for the messages it sends to you, for its incredible capacity to heal, to regenerate, and to transform. Now acts your body now with genuine curiosity, What do you need need to know today? What wisdom do you have for me? And I want you to listen with your whole being to whatever arises, maybe a sense, a feeling, words, or just simply a knowing, perhaps as guidance about rest, or movement or nourishment. Maybe it's encouragement about a decision that you're facing. Maybe it's a simple reminder of how deeply loved and supported that you are in this moment. But whatever you receive, holded with reference ingratitude. Your body is your greatest ally, your wisest teacher, and your most faithful companion on this journey of life. So say to your body, now, I trust you, I honor you, I choose to listen to your wisdom with love, respect, and deep appreciation. Now take one more deeper, thin and carry this sacred commitment into your week. All right, my beautiful people, will welcome back again. If you're new here to the Season and Self Love podcast, It's something we do every day Monday through Friday. It's just to help ground us before we get into the top of your hand. All right, Lacy, So let's start with just. Getting to know who you are today. Tell us about yourself. What brings the most joy in your life right now? My family? Yeah, they I have four children and my family is my first ministry, So definitely my family. I wouldn't be who I am today without my family. So that and of course the health journey, the discovery that I am on, but first and foremost my children, my husband, and my family. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. Now, if it's comfortable just to go back, can you share about when you first got your implants, what season of your life, what were you in, and what was happening for you then to make you choose to get implants. Then this is a literal a little bit vulnerable for me, but I'm just going to be honest because this is where I was at in life. So I was a senior in high school and I got pregnant with my son, who's now twenty six years old. So I graduated high school, carried a lot of guilt, a lot of shame, can't really get into all of that, but had him in February of nineteen ninety nine and then went on did some college. It wasn't working out for me, and I was really young and really silly, and so at that time I got into the dancing industry and that was pushed because of the way my body changed so drastically. Whenever I had my son, I thought, well, if I just go and you know, everyone's like, why don't you just get some inmplans, it'll you know, it'll fix it and you'll make more money. And literally I said, oh, yeah, you know, that's smart. And at that time it didn't cost I don't think as much as it did now. But I found a way. I made it happen. And I didn't even think at that point in my life, I was so young and so almost ignorant. I didn't even think about the health implications. I just thought, I'm gonna look better, make more money, I'm not gonna because I was literally went from maybe like a small bee to a double D with my son. And when I was you know, after I breastfed and did everything else, it was like I had I felt like I had nothing. I know better now I did have something, but I kind of just that's where I was at. I wanted to be shaped like society thought was acceptable, and I also had the intentions of making more money at that point in my life. You know, I just thought, oh, this is this is easy, this is going to be great. And I definitely didn't think about the health implications down the road, so that's why I got them originally, didn't think twice about what was the ingredients or anything like that. So yeah, well you know what, first of all, thank you for sharing that. Thank you for sharing that. But that's that's what most of us women do, especially because we are insecure about our bodies. You know. For me, I used to always think I used to be in the eady BDTD committee is what I used to say when I was in high school, you know, and even part of college. And I as well got pregnant when I was nineteen years old, and so they kind of changed the form of my body or what I thought, what I thought of woman's body is supposed to look like, you know, fullness. So once you know, you lose all that baby weight, you know, then everything goes, you know, everything else thatt back. But then those booths they came after that baby was like wow. But then as time goes, you know, they do go away. I didn't get mine until after my second baby, at thirty one years old. I was thirty one years old when I got the implants, and I'm a little older than you, so I knew about the consequences well with the silicon that they were banned and then they brought into saline. So when I was told that the saline was safe. I said, okay, that's great, I can go ahead and get those you know as well. And I did it for it not only for my insecurities, but also for business. I was a model back then. I wasn't yet in the adult industry. I was a model then, and being a model especially you know, doing swimshuitt, lingerie, you know all of those things. You need some breast that's gonna hold that up and look good in pictures and stuff like that. And did it helped me and help me. Oh my god, I guess it. Did you know? That's something that I do thank my brain for. And so when you said that about being you know, young and stupid, that's one thing I want to take away from us is to shame. I want us to take away the shame in it because that is where we was at at that time. You know, that was a season that we were in at that moment. And so when I when I think about even going through this whole month and even deciding to do it a few months ago, like really putting the money down, putting my you know down, I said, you know what, I don't regret anything. And why I don't regret anything because this is what brought me to this platform today. Because if I wouldn't get the implants, I wouldn't have had the courage to get into the adult industry. I wouldn't begin to create a big name. I wouldn't have had these platforms to be able to speak about self love, about sex, relationship. You know what I'm saying, I wouldn't be here speaking with you women, and we be in loud and proud about choosing our bodies, even though then we chose our bodies for something else. But I believe if we really would have known, if we really would have known what we was putting in our bodies. We would be like, oh no, hell no, sorry, yes, but you understand what I'm saying. Yeah, And so that's and you know, I don't want to take that away from you, but I do want to just really speak into my sisters and say, look, y'all, ain't no shame in none of this that we have done because we were doing something that we thought that was best for us at that time, especially. Being teen mothers. You know what I'm saying, And you're trying to make money to survive, to make just survive, and you were just doing what you knew that was around you. Period. There is no shame in any of that. The good thing is that fast forward now twenty six plus years later, you're like, Okay, hold on, hmm, let me go back, let me go ahead and take these out. But also, and this is what because I hear and it's so funny, and I'm sorry, I know this. Is supposed to be about to but it's gonna be about us today. It's gonna be about all of us today, you know, because because when I when I be in the groups, and I love that the women share their stories, but I want to take the I want to take And it's so hard when I say I want to take the anger away because the anger is there, but I want to take the hate away because that anger could turn into hate that a lot of the women that I see in there, and it's like, let's do something powerful with that anger. Let's do something more beneficial that's truly going to help push the needle even more. You understand what I'm saying, because we have to think about where we were when we made that decision to get those implants, you know what I'm saying. So the thing is just let's be loud about what they are and what they do, but let's not live in shame of it. If that makes sense. Oh absolutely, yeah, yeah, absolutely. I can definitely say I've done work on myself throughout all of this. Shame off of the women, shame off of me, guilt off of me, guilt off of all women who do this because society pushes a norm for us and we think we have to conform or we think we have to meet those standards, and in all reality, there's no you know the amount of love that you have for yourself. I've taught my daughters a great lesson throughout this, each one of them. I have a son that's twenty six, and I have three girls. They ranged nineteen, fourteen, and ten. And I had those implants. I think I got those implants when my son was two or three. So I had those implants for twenty three years. And for all of those years, I and granted I was adopted, I started out with rejection. Naomi, Okay, I was I'm bi racial and eighty one. Let me just give you this, back in eighty one, by racial children. Me and my sister didn't have the same biological parents, but we were by racial, so we were considered hard to place back in eighty one option, But I have a loving family. They had three boys. They adopted my sister and I, and so they that that family was Caucasian, and they and I and I never understood. You know, growing up there was different things. I dealt with a lot of rejection. So whenever I decided, and I know, I'm kind of going everywhere, but whenever I decided I was going to get these implants out, I literally thought to myself, well, what if I go back? My husband was my biggest thing. I said, what do you you know, what do you They're not going to be like this because I think I was a triple D by the time it was all said and done, you know, gained a little bit of weight. And he was like, I don't I don't care because that was that little piece of rejection coming back. But I've done a lot of work on myself. I say all that to say this, I've done a lot of work on myself. I've gone through counseling, I've done different things to deal with that shame and that guilt. And I think that God brought this about at the right time, because there's no really a good time to do it, you know. But the nudging and the it was almost like it was a new chapter in my life. So my daughters all three and my daughters have seen what I went through when I got the X plant, which was not bad. It wasn't a bad recovery, but you know, it can be a little painful. You're getting something cut out of your chest that's not supposed to be in there. And I told them, I said, let this just be a really good reminder to you that you are wonderfully made, You were perfect just the way that you are, and you do not have to get anything put into your body that is not meant to be there, not the way you originally made to be accepted by society. To be accepted by anybody in your life, they've got to love you for you, love you for you. So it was a big lesson for my daughters to see me go through it, But it was a blessing, you know. And it wasn't that it was a bad recovery, but it was a really big teaching moment to just love you for you, you know, not for what others want to see in you. Yeah, yeah, you know. I love that. Thank you for even saying that, I myself have three daughters. I have three daughters, they ten years apart, and I mirror you in saying that this is a beautiful lesson for them to knowing that to love yourself more than anything but love just what God has made you. In giving you know, given to you. I think even with your unique voice of your story in speaking and telling is that you do you do come from a sense of abandonment, which kind of you know, go for them, So just you moving forward, even with your healing, could touch so many amazing people that has just that same thing that you have and that wanted to be validated or wanted to be approved enough to be able to be loved in their life. The one thing that I do love is that most of the women that I talk too that their husbands have been right there by their signs. You know. I read on. In the groups a lot that a lot of the women don't have either they're single or they don't have a supportive husband with that. And I can say, my husband has been very supportive, like he was ready to do. It a year ago, you know. And it's good to have that that you're able to do that. But I'm so glad that he And it's like I can hear him say, maybe you good just the way you are, it doesn't matter. That's not what I fell in love with you for. I did not fall in love with you for the you know. And it's so funny, but we as women, even the big I'm be fifty three this year, you know what I'm saying, You. Still think about that, You still think about, you know, how we gonna feel sexually, how we're gonna feel, you know, sensral. Are we still gonna have be sexy or even be pleasing to you know, our husband eyes. That's one thing that I want want to talk about too going forward. Now that I know that you're that you're married, how do you feel sensual wise? Do you still feel like that that woman you know with the femininity? How was that for you now that you remove the implants? I think it's even better than it was previously, because I think, honestly, previously, the farther along I got, the longer I had them. If I'm just being honest and I can be real and raw, my libido was nonexistent. My hormones were like everywhere, my sex drive was horrible. And now that I have them out, and now that I'm actually back to my natural state, I fell that my libido levels are increasing. I feel I just feel better. So that makes the sexuality and the side of it that I've been missing for so many years, My poor husband, it's just that much better. I honestly feel sexier than I have in probably fifteen to twenty years. Wow. And I don't know how to explain that, but I feel good and I know my husband loves that as well. So this right here for me, did not take away any of my feeling of feeling sexy in myself. If anything, it made me feel more sexy, like I'm genuinely me and I love that. I love that, so it has improved the way that I feel versus the opposite, you know. I unfortunately I have heard some women say opposite for me, I am in love with my body. I am in love. I did get an explant with a master. I'm probably not gonna say that, right MASTAPEXTI with a lift. I didn't want to hear it separate, and I knew I had some a really big test because I had gained a little bit of weight through all of this. But I will say very happy that I got the lift. My scarring is minimal, and I genuinely feel like the best version of me that I have felt. And I don't know how long. When you get them removed, I can hug my children. My little ten year old can hug me, and you can just you know, you can feel them on the chest. It's amazing. I remember I got my drains out probably five or six days after I had my ex plant, and it was just my husband and I and I remember He looked at me. He said, oh, I didn't he told me. He said, I didn't know those drains were that long. They served their purpose. They were really good, right, they did what they were So afterwards, I said, yeah, they were. I started laughing because they say little things, you know that you laugh like, yeah, we're really enduring things. But it's all in the healing process. So we go to eat afterwards, and I said, you know what, he said what I said, I'm going to be able. I'm having a grand baby in December. I'm like, I'm going to be able to hold that grand baby to my chest and they're gonna feel my heart beat like they're gonna feel me. I'm gonna feel them. I'm getting goosebumps just thinking about when I hug my my church family, when I hug my kids, my mother. That's beautiful. That is so beautiful, lady. You know that's been I feel like, not taken from me because I made those choices, but something that's been blocked in my life, and it opened up more than just I don't even know how to explain it. Not healing because I'm healing. It just opened up connection. Yes, no, we're people of connection. Not isolation, and that right there blocks this whole upper half of your body and your heart and your ability to have the skin to skin and to feel your family. And I remember just crying after I got my drains out and we were eating and he's like your cas said, yeah, for the first time in twenty something years, I'm going to be able to feel, Yeah, my family, and they're gonna be able to feel me and those around me and those that I love. And it's the genuine me. And there's definitely no shame in any of it and no guilt. It's just all happy tears because never is a good time to do it with work and you know, life, but it is so worth it on every level. It's it's worth it. Yeah, so well beautiful because I got some teacher over here myself. But that that I didn't think about that until I had Shelley on last week. I believe that was last week when she said when she was able to feel her son's heartbeat or her daughter's heartbeat when. She was chest to chest now And I didn't think about that. And then I go go back and talk about one episode that I was talking I always talk about taking off the mask and taking off that mask that you carry that you have to be something for someone, as somebody or something. And I have. Been very honest about I had taken my mask off, but I was still holding my mask in my hand, you know what I mean, just to put you know, convenience, but also in that convenience, as I was holding my mask, I still had on my costume, and my costume was my implant. Yeah yeah, And it was like, how can I talk about self love if I'm still wearing this costume. Yes, I've taken my mask off and still hold it in my hand, but when can I truly be hold and be myself without my a You understand what I'm saying, And so I know I know that this was the right time to do this, because, as I told my husband, if I would have did this five years ago, I don't even know if I would have had the mental or the emotional capacity to even be able to go through this and be so sure of myself. You understand what I'm saying, Just so sure of myself, And. Even hearing you speak right now, it's like, Yeah, this was the right time to do it. It truly was the right time to do it, and the gift is is that I'm assuming this is your first grand baby, that you able to hold that very first grand baby, and it's hard to heart with that grand baby. Oh and I'm i'm I'm, I'm, I'm a yah yah, I'm a ya ya. So so I know what that will feel like. So I can only imagine. I can imagine. Yeah, you know, I have been to let me if you don't mind, I'll tell you a little bit about where something intuitively, I guess about five years ago said you gotta get those out. I remember going to my ob gyn and I asked them. This is probably seven years ago, I asked her. I said, well, you know, what about these implants. You're supposed to get them replaced. They said, every ten to fifteen years. What about these implants. I'm sorry, I keep I having my tears still coming running. I'm sorry, that's right. So I said, what about these implants? And she said, if they're not bothering you, don't worry about it. And I thought, okay, I'm good. You know, the doctor said, if they're not bothering me, don't worry about it. So I just kept going. And then about five years ago, I kept telling my husband, I got to get these out, and he's like, we'll do it. We'll get them out, you know, I know you want to get them out. We'll get them out. And I'm like, yeah, I know. Is the time went on, I said, I've really got to get these out. Something's just a miss, you know. And it wasn't that I was at that point. It wasn't that I had a lot of health issues. I just knew in my mind something wasn't right, something was about to fire off. So twenty twenty three. Fast forward to twenty twenty three, my nineteen year old graduated a year early and we had a graduation party. And the day after her graduation party, everything went down south and I started I started to have I don't even know how to explain it. I started to have pain in the back of my cows and chronic fatigue, and I thought, I can't even make it to my kitchen, Like, what is going on? Something is dire wrong. And I thought at that point I didn't know because my legs hurt so bad, I was tired. By the time I got to the kitchen, I had pain from on this left side of my body, from the back of my neck down my arm. My arm was in so much pain, it was tingling and going numb. These are just a few of the symptoms that started to really really hit me. All right, Lacy, you. Know what that was very beautiful and powerful that you just that you just gave us. Act you what symptoms or what was it that was changing your experience during that time. I know you said that the fatigue. I got that in the in the legs, you know, all of that pain. But how was your body trying to communicate to you more? What was you hearing your body telling you. So instinctively, my body was just saying, get them out. So what I kept here? Get them out. But aside from the pain that I was getting in my legs, all of a sudden, I woke up one night and I had this shooting pain from the back of my neck down my left arm. Couldn't lift my left arm. There was tingling, there was burning sensations. I was getting weakness in my left arm, and I thought to myself, Oh, this is bad, this is gonna this is something. Literally at first, I wasn't thinking, oh this is a symptom of BII, like this is something that this is contributing to this that went on for a while. I went to all kinds of pain management doctors. I had electric shocks. I would wake up in the middle of the night and I would have electric shocks behind my eyes, in the back of my chest, in my thighs, and I remember telling my husband, Oh, my gosh, run my back, run my back, like I'm having a heart attack. This is horrible. And it was electric shocks. I went for a little while where my blood pressure was shooting up and coming back down. There was a season where I couldn't take a little bit of a sip of something that had refined sugar and my blood pressure would shoot through the roof, and I just thought, what is this? You know. I even went back to my counselor and said, I really want to see my kids grow up. What is going on, you know? And she's like, don't believe that, lie, You're going to see your kids grow up. And I did not attribute anything to BI So a little bit further down, I started seeing a natural path further down the road, and I thought because I had gotten an MRI on my brain, thinking maybe there was something neurological that was going on, that came back clear. I had COVID a few times. So I did do a spike protein detox which how much that helped, but I know that it got rid of some of that spike protein through blood tests. And then I started seeing this naturopath and I said, these are the symptoms I'm having. Let me tell you one other symptom I was having. I started having muscle fascillations from the top of my head to the bottom of my feet and they would fire off all throughout my body. And I thought to myself, what is going on with my nervous system. Okay, so the natural path he gave me some different supplements and things that would bring down inflammation, and I went as far as I had two rounds of stem cell therapy, and I will say the autoimmune response that helped, but it didn't take it all away. I was still having chronic fatigue, brain fog, the memory loss. And I am a manager at my position with the team of nine. But the memory loss. If someone would say something, I'd say, I'm sorry, wait hold on, would you just say because I couldn't recall it. There was a disconnect in all of that. So I say all that to say this. When I got these out five weeks ago, aside from that initial recovery of the two to three weeks where you're tired, you know, and you want to sleep a lot. As soon as I as soon as I got up and I got moving around and things start going, I said, Man, my chronic fatigue is lifted. My muscle fa fascillations have slowed down, Like my brain fog is not there. This is really crazy. And one other thing, I am a computer coordinator at my church, and so I run computer with the lyrics and the worship and everything like that. And I remember my director she used to have to say scroll up, scroll up, you know, and it wasn't connecting and click here, click here. And the other day I was I was running computer at my daughter's kids camp and they went into something else and my brain just automatically caught it. And I jumped up and she said, oh no, no, no, She said, oh. That was quick. And I was like, eh, it's just gonna get that much better because I feel so much better after this explant, Like my connection in my brain has improved, and that memory, that function has improved. So that's just a few few things that I have seen since my explant and I know it's gonna get that much better. It's been such a blessing, such a blessing. Just hearing your story. I have tears in my eyes because I am y'all, I am so excited. And why I'm so excited because everything that you said that you went through, those were the things that I was going through. It was times that I was so disabled. I could not get out of bed for days, yes, save for days, and it was like, what the hell is happening? It's like, goah. So when you when you said about the shooting pains in the back of your head and it went through your body to your left, I really felt that it was something wrong with me. I thought I that I had in mass you know, I was just going through every scenario possible that it could be and me too, Yeah, and I remember going and I had to think, even though he was an idiot my neurologists, I have to thank him because him giving me the wrong testing for what, giving me the wrong testing and not truly paying attention to everything that I said, and also with my my parent primary doctor had put in the paperwork. He wasn't listening. He just wanted to give me medication. For my migraines, and he was just thinking about my migraines. I'm telling him about shooting pains through my body, the numbness on my like I'm thinking I'm having a stroke, you know, like it's so. It is so disabling. And when I tell them, I can actually understand how some people, the ones that I paralyzed from the neck down because your brain is steady moving and going and you. Can't move sometimes. Yes, it I literally I remember telling my because I have a primary care physician, but they're not they're not tied to insurance, so they don't do things the normal way. And I just remember saying, like, is there because they at first were going to send me to an EMG or send me for an EMG, which is the neurologist that does the muscle testing. And I thought to myself, I mean at that point, God was like, no, that's not it. But I will say I was telling my natural path and even my aunt, I like, am I stroking out? You know there's bad words like there's cancer and als and there's MS, there's all these things, and I thought to myself, that's it, Like I'm I'm going down because at five o'clock. I worked from home, but at five o'clock I was in the bed, and my poor husband and my poor kids were so scared because I couldn't function. I couldn't get up and go to the kitchen, and I thought, I in so much pain and I'm so tired. I was even having shortness of breath. Yes, that's going away, Naomi, that has gone away. It is. You think you're going crazy. And for those that are around you, you look normal on the outside, right, but on the inside you feel like you're dying, and you feel like you're a prisoner inside of your own body. And that's how I felt. And I have a picture where the dark circle I had my eyes underneath heir looked so sunken in and so dark. I remember taking a picture in Houston. I had some training before I went out on PTO for my surgery, and the darkness under my eyes was like they were sunk in and so dark. And literally the day of my ex plant, they lightened up and they have gotten so much better. I remember my mom going, gosh, you have dark circles under your eyes. I mean, these bags were sucking the life out of me. I feel like a new person. I am so excited for you to have this done and get through those initial recovery weeks and see how much healing is going to come to you. I feel like it's a new chapter prophetically for me. I feel like it's a new chapter in my life. This is something that God is doing to propel me forward. I've always had a calling to women and to young girls because of the situation of me growing up. So that's where God's put it, you know, on my heart. But I feel like it's more not just a physical healing for me, this is something spiritual because the dark side that it held me to, why I got them in the first place, it's gone. You know. There is no more shame, there is no more guilt, and I did it for that reason and that reason only. So this is a new chapter. This is a new me, and it feels wonderful. I just feel like a new woman. So I'm praying for Yeah. Thank you, first of all, thank you for the prayer. Thank you for just sharing it, because it is truly this is truly have been a testimony, but also it's been divinely aligned it truly, it truly has. It's something that I shared with my listeners a lot, as I always wanted to. Know. My prayer was always how can I be a service to women? You know, my fan base is most mostly men, and I've always wanted to know how can I be a service to women that I'm not intimidating, that they don't look at you know, my past career and you know, and they can really I can really resonate with them where they can look at me as a woman to woman and nothing else but that. And I just remember probably a month ago, I came home from vacation and I was ready to you know, work. I had some you know, some shows to do and some other things to do, fashion shows, everything to do, and my body shut down on me, like literally shut down. Totally on me. And I'm I'm i am, I'm very spiritual and I'm to stand my connection with God. I'm at my altar every morning praying and meditating. So I'm so very much aware of when I am being set down because I've missed something, I've missed the message, I missed something that he told me to do. And sometimes I could be disobedient, so he's like, no. You need to do this because you're doing a little bit too much. I understand you're trying to do stuff to move things out the way because you're preparing for something. But let me realign that for you right now. And when I say I could not talk, my voice is what you know. This is my possess. You know. I was already having brainfall. This was really horrible brainfall. But then I couldn't walk. My legs were swollen so bad that I couldn't even walk to the computer. Now this is how I set my stuff. I got my office downstairs. I have an office in my bedroom, and then my husband had an office outside of my bedroom. And it's like, okay, no, because you will find a computer to work. Shut me all the way down. When I had no choice to be still and so I remember one particular morning I got out of bed. I crawled my littleself over to my altar and it was a blessing because my grandbaby is hearing. So my meditation room, what I call the Golden Rose Room, that is what my grandbaby is sleeping at now. Because my daughter was like, no, we ain't sharing rooms now, she. God be in her own. So I was like okay. So I was able to put my altar in my room and I just went and I crawled over to my altar and I was. Like, what am I supposed to? So I said and I prayed, and you know, I thought, and then all of a sudden, it was like, you. Need to use your explained journey. That needs to be your July series. And you need to ask Laura if she can come on the show, and ask if any other women could come to show. And I was like, no, No'm women and I want to share. And this is like a battle that and I was like, I got you. I hear everything you said. And I was a week out of January, I mean July already I had my whole July. Serious. God, I had a few guess that, you know, I was just like, are you kidding? Like no, I'm serious. And when I really sit and I think about it, it's so funny. I don't know if you do this, it's like you see you see the picture of your or your life and every choice that you made that it brought you to this point now that it was supposed it was meant to be, even though we don't understand it, but it was meant to happen. It was meant to happen. And I laughed all the time because anybody on the outside of me whatever, they were like, girl, you're tripping. No'm I understand. I understand where My connection with God has always been in my car, praying on my way to set, praying on my way to a party. That I had the hopes. I prayed in my car all the time, you know, And I had to have that connection with God in that sense because and I'm sorry, but the Church wouldn't allow me to be there and be able to praise God in that sense. You understand what I'm saying, because how can you do that? And you be on you know, doing this and that. And I was like, okay, I'm not about to let them show me from God. I know where I can speak for God, so you know. And that would kelp me. And even after I retired from the industry, and I remember even going through that whole healing and that transmission creating my prayer closet and in that I had my forgiveness letter and all of those things. And this was almost thirteen years ago, and at that time it was a miracle because that I was pregnant with my last one of my last baby, and it was told to me that I couldn't have any children. So my second baby, I actually had to have help to have her. But I was told that I was no longer to be able to have another child. And here I go, here, I'm pregnant. I'm thinking I'm about to blow really do some things in the industry. And I was like, okay, y'all keep on playing. Right there, I got something for you. Yeah. Four years though pregnant at the top of my career, set me down bed rest the hall in time, Lazie, when I tell you, I could not walk, I could not do anything. Like I won't just it. Yes, yeah, yeah, I. Absolutely love that. You know you say you were, you know, praying a lot. I got to a point in my journey before I you know, absolutely, when I was going through all of my BII symptoms, I found myself with my Bible on my kitchen floor, on my knees, and I was like, God, I'll do anything. Just heal me, Like take that, like heal me, Show me what I need to do for healing. Because I believe that there's you know, God is the ultimate physician. That's my belief. But there are also things on this earth where we play a part as well in that healing journey. So I was like, what do I have to do. I've been two years now without having a sip of alcohol, which has been amazing too, and I think that even that in and of itself has helped through my ex plant recovery process with the inflammation being down in my body. But I was at a dire, dire point, like praying, thinking, you know, I just I have never experienced anything like this before in my life, and it was as the later years with these implants being in But God directed my steps and we are in. Our story is our testimony. So when you say no shame, no guilt, I absolutely agree with you because our story and our testimony is what's going to set somebody else free. And it's not for us to hold on to, you know, because society can say what they want, family members can say what they want. But this is our story, this is our testimony, and there's other women that need it. So we go through what we go through for a purpose. It's about the perspective of getting women to understand the perspective of it didn't happen to them, it actually happened for them. It's a purpose. They have a purpose and a calling you know, on their life, and their story and testimony are for someone else to be set free as well. So it's so much bigger than just ourselves. But I thank you so much for doing this and bringing your platform to be able to talk with each other, with women who are going through the same thing that feel like they're alone. Because while I didn't feel like I was alone because of the groups right that we're in and you having this and I did have my husband that was supportive, I'm sure there's some women that feel like they are completely alone and they need to hear these stories and be involved and know they're not so that they can courageously. It's a brave thing to do. It's a courageous thing to do. It's not you know, it's not for the week. It's knowing you're doing this for a purpose and you're doing it for your health. It's just one step and the healing process, but it's it's one of the best steps I've taken. So yeah, it is. And you know what, again, thank you, thank you so much for just sharing, for having the courageous and let me say. This, being obedient, being omedient. You know what I'm saying, because we can't. We can't we allow our pride. Oh yeah, realize got pride to get in a way and everything. And it's like, no, this is what I created you for your strength. Let me say this to you. You were born with strength. You understand what I'm saying. So everything that is happening in your life now moving forward is going to be so amazing. You are going to write a book. You are going to write a book. You know, you're the second person that has said that to me. You just gave me chills. You're the second person said that to me in the past probably three years, and the first time I foo fooded off. But you just gave me confirmation. So thank you for beingdient and boldly stating that because that means a lot to me. Yeah, and let me say this, and why say this is because this is what was told. To me the other day. You know how we sit and I know you thought about writing your story. Just where will I start at? My story is not good enough to be writing. How do I There is no successful ending for I can write it because I went through that same thing. This is it right now? When you took out those explants and you became whole again. This is where it is, where you became whole again. This is your spiritual connecting. Those two I call them ten percent. Ten that's twenty percent. You were eighty percent there, you went through it all. Now you remove that ten Now you fully hole with the boss, with the spirituality, with the obe you understand saying what the love. Now you can write that book. Thank you, thank you. This has been. So good, so good, So thank you for doing this, and thank you for having me on here. Because if I can help just one person, you know, he says, we did, just do it for the one. Yeah, like person you you are, you are doing wonderful things. So thank you for your obedience. Thank you for speaking boldly into my life. I receive it, and just thank you for what you do. I am looking forward to hearing everyone else's story and listening to the podcast that you've done so far. And I appreciate you very very very much. I know we just met, but I appreciate all that you're doing. And I'm praying for a smooth recovery. To guide You're going to doctor Sude, yes, okay, to guide doctor Suit's hands I hear he is wonderful and that your recovery is quicker than you think. That is just like wow, and you're back up and on your feet and running. Thank you, thank you. But you know what, I want to give you an invite too. And this is this is the first time I'm gonna say this to my listeners. I now have a name for my new podcast. I have a name for my new podcast. It won't drop until January, so I will start recording the end of October of it. And I would love for you to come on because I would love to hear where your story's at. Then, you know, and just you know, I would love to have you on there. The name of the podcast is Body, Choice and Voice. It's healing from the inside out. That's yes, yes, And so it's not only going to be a podcast, it's a movement. I love you. Yes, I would to be a part of it if you would have me. Yes, yes, yes, yes. And I'm excited. I'm truly excited. I'm excited for the new connections that I've made. I've made another group of sisters, a sisterhood with yourself. I'm just gonna claim it. Yes, I met another. Beautiful young lady Mischelle Jean. She is just so loud and proud and I love her spirit. You know, it's just so many different of the women Aloma. You know, Laura, Laura is our patient advacant. I've known of Laura for quite some time, for years. I saw her on the Oprah Renfree Show. I remember we're both from Chicago, so I seen it all, but just to have it for a circle, come back around and this is the woman who I'm what I tell you Lace. This ain't nothing for gone, nothing but God really. And it was like wow, like oh, and I'm like, okay, I got you all right. Let me let me move backway, hey, let me sit over here and just walk. And that is. That is all that I am doing now, and just being able to just really see your beautiful faces and how they're glowing, how you know it's shining, just to hear the stories, and a lot of the stories mirror mind, you know, we mirror the same of some of the things. But some women have had some very horrible times, and I think I've been very blessed that I haven't been that I might be crying about the being disabling and stuff, but some women have been on their death hands, you know what I'm saying, And it's like, this is where we need to come together and really. Be loud, absolutely, really be loud. And really be there for one another as much as we can. You know, the good thing is that we do have husbands that are very supportive of us. But then we have other sisters. That don't have that, you know that some are by themselves, and wanted to show Missalonma she shared that she wasn't with anybody, and actually she said that she had to do a go fund me and she had to add. To her friends to help her fund this. You know. So it's more than just us just talking on a podcast. Now, I want to do where it's a foundation that we truly are helping women that don't have that, that don't have the funding of the money to be able to do this because insurance is not paying for this. This is coming out of pocket. Yes, absolutely, yeah it's not. And I've heard of women that are completely by themselves, single moms, you know, trying to have done with toddlers, and I honestly my heart does go out to them. I do think that it is more than just you know, the podcast truly assisting those who can't do this or don't know how they're going to do this, because I can't imagine being a single mom with two or three children. That there's no way I could do it and be successful because you can't, you know, during recovery you need specific help and so and even the finances, the finances is hard. You know, there's never really a right time and it's never really that you want to spend it. But if we can find a way to help these women who are struggling and need to get this done, I think that's going to be something that is amazing. So yeah, yeah, thank you for having this. Thank you for just even inviting me to this. It's been so good for my heart. I just I'm honored. Thank you, Oh thank you. This was definitely worth the way this really was. It was just, you know how you just feel like everything was happening. I said, no, I need to get Lacey in here, like I really need to get her in here, and I'm so glad. He was like, no, I want to do it now. I'm not waiting to act to her. I felt so bad that first go around because we had all that flooding in Texas and I'm like, here, I am in the car. You know I want to do this. But it was I'm glad that you invited me back, and yeah, we're patient with me. Thank you for being gracious with me and a allowing me to share my story on your platform. So I say, yeah, here's to a strong sisterhood and more to come. So beautiful, beautiful, all right, my beautiful people. Again, I want to just thank you and everyone else who has joined me on this month's series. I'm saying I'm two weeks out. I am two weeks out, and I'm truly excited for this journey. I know I said that I'm at a hunted. I don't know if everybody go they gonna like me at a hunted, but I don't give it. But you know, I remember that girl at a hundred. But I believe it's going is. I know that it's going to be such an amazing journey, such an amazing connection with all of us women that are a part of this journey. I think it's just moving the needle, pushing it really forward here, really forward here, and just speaking my voices. If you can tell any woman right now who are on the fence with X plant or even thinking about getting implants. What would that be. I would say, love yourself, love the season that you're in, love what God has given you. If you're on the fence about getting an explant, I would say, go for it. You are courageous, you are beautiful, you were brave, and you. Can do this. It's not, you know, the end all be all, but the healing that comes from it is something like I have not experienced in twenty three years since I had them put in. If you're considering getting implants, I would say, read the black box label, get all of the warnings, give yourself all of the knowledge that you need to make an informed decision because getting those implants in is something your body is going to fight for years to come once you do get them in. But if you're on the fence about an explant, I say jump, go for it because it is the best thing I have done for my health on my health journey in the past four to five years. And I'm here for you. So if you want to do it, I am here for you. Reach out to me. I'm on the Facebook support pages for a lot of the BI groups, and do it. I don't you won't regret. It you want, Beautiful, Beautiful, I have one more last question for you. This episode is all about reclaiming your truth, is reclaiming my truth? What is your truth today? So I struggle with my truth and I just say that because of my faith. So I'll revert back to my faith because that's something that I feel like I have to be obedient with. What is God's truth is? Does what you're believing? Does what you're thinking align with what God says, with what his word says. If it doesn't, it's not truth. He made us beautifully, he made us perfect and the way that He wanted to make us. And so. My truth is God's truth. And if it doesn't align with what his word says, then it's not good. And if it's not good, He's not finished yet. So your story's not finished yet. Keep pushing and just keep looking up. He'll guide your steps. Beautiful, Beautiful, Thank you for that, Lacey and my beautiful solves. I hope that lazy story that is reminding you of the incredible power, wisdom, and resilience that lives within you. You know, her journey shows us that sometimes the most challenging experience become our greatest teachers, and just choosing ourselves, our health, our truth, and our authentic expression is always an act of love. So whether you're considering expert surgery, or facing a major health decision, or just simply learning to trust your body wisdom. More deeply, I want you to remember that you have the access to profound inner guidance that will. Never steer you wrong. Your body is constantly communicating with you. Your intuition is always available to guide you toward our highest good, and your courage, the beautiful, fierce courage that Lacey has demonstrated so powerful, it's always within a reach when you need it the most. Again, thank you all, my amazing people. Will just allowing me to just share this journey with you and you just being in here with the comments and everything like that, that is so amazing. So I guess we got. One more show that has already been recorded on Wednesday, and I will see y'all in October. Have an amazing, amazing day, have a good one, y'all. Thank you almy, thank you for joining us on this journey of discovering and empowerment here at the Season and Self Love Podcast. Remember Embracing self love is a continuous journey and we're so glad to have you with us. So if you enjoy today's episode, please leave us a review and don't forget to join our community on Facebook at Season and Self Love connect with like minded individuals who are also on their self love journey. Now, if you have any questions or topics that you'd like for us to explore, we'd love to hear from you. Email us at Season usseelf Love at gmail dot com and let your voice be heard. So until the next time, take a moment for yourself today and remember you are worthy of love, joy, and all the beautiful things that life has to offer you. A go
