Making Life-Changing Decisions | Preparing for Your ReBirth with Dr. Will Washington | Mindset Monday

Welcome to the Season and Self Love Podcast. I am your host, Namibanks, and I am thrilled to have you join me on this transformative journey. You see, every day we dive into a powerful conversation about self discovery, healing and empowerment. This podcast is brought to you by ax Naomi and Elevate Me Self Discovery what we believe that loving yourself is the first step to live in a fulfilling life. You can expect insightful discussions, practical tips, and inspiring stories. Plus we occasionally welcome special guests who. Will share their unique perspectives on self love and personal prow So get comfy, grab your favorite beverage, and let's embark on this journey together. Because it's time to embrace the beautiful person that you are. So let's elevate our lives one episode of time. Now, let's get started, all right, my beautiful people, Welcome back to the season. Is a podcast. I'm your host, Nami Banks, and it is Mindset Monday. Well, today we're diving deep into the sacred space of transformation, specifically focusing on making life shaming decisions about our body. As we continue our July series preparing for transformation. I want to acknowledge that this journey isn't just mine, it's ours. You know, for over twenty years, I've carried breast implants in my body, twenty years of unexplained vertigo, severe headaches that left me searching desperately for answers, see t scans and real nothing, countless doctor's visits that led to nowhere. And it wasn't until I sat at my altar a few months ago and it was just some clarity that came to me. I just remember just feeling like loss. I've been to the doctor, the neurologists, my own specialists, my own doctor, and they couldn't find me nothing, nothing but just give me medication. And within that medication I was getting side effects. And so I would saying, you know what, I believe that it can possibly be these toxic bags that I have put into my body over twenty years ago, and so I knew that they had to go. So this decision to explain it wasn't just medical, but also I have been going through my spiritual journey for the past over ten fifteen years, and I knew somewhere somehow that there was a disconnect with me and I knew once I was to get rid of these toxic bags that I will be so much better. But you know what, I know that I'm not alone in this. I know that there are millions of women who are facing the same crosswords that's dealing with the breast implant illness, and they are searching for answers and they finding the courage to reclaim their bodies. But before we begin, I want to take a quick break because I have doctor Will here to help us to unravel this conversation. All right, it's seagurty God is now me banks here on the season and Sepp of a podcast, and we'll be right back. Washington wells into two focuses on healing. Always for me, if I look good, then I feel good. If I feel good, then I share the good. If I share the good, then I celebrate the good. If I celebrate the good, then I live the good. So I can be paid to be my greatest. But I have to learn the good to be the good. So what does it take to be the greatest. It's as simple as a free fifteen minute consultation. Be kind to yourself and you'll always Hey istraa gurty God is now me Banks, it makes your YouTube d and. This three Thursday night at Naomi, you have podcast where we talk about everything you love, sex, relationship, coulture differences and so much more. By bridging the gap between them Paul and we even talk about this pal of listing. You need to stop by me and dot com thot as well as the BTV see how some amazing gets you'll never know. Just make sure you tune met Thursday nice six pm, sixercent of time, go to exlam dot com and tell the Miami all right, well, welcome back for today. I'm so earnest to welcome back to our resident therapist, doctor Will watching. It is good to be seen and saved. I know that's right, I know that's right. All right, my beautiful people, Before we get into this topic, I let's ground ourselves first, all right, So if we can just take a moment to close our eyes and get into a nice little comfortable position. All right, close your eyes, don't take a deep breath in through your nose and hold that. Now exhil through your mouth. I want you to feel your body settling into this moment. Imagine yourself standing at. A cross world, not with fear, but with anticipation, and each path represents a choice, and you have the wisdom within you to choose what honors you to your highest good. Now I want you to breathing. Courage and breathe out any doubt. Of fear. Know that you are exactly where you need to be. Take one final deep breath in, and when you are ready, open your eyes. All right, my beautiful people will welcome back. And if you are new here to the season a Simlar Podcasts. It's something we do every day Monday through Fridays. They have ground us before we get into the topic in hand, right, doctor will so before we dive in, I want our listeners to understand why, why that mental preparation for a decision like this is just as important as the physical preparation for Yes. Yes, I'm happy to say this because I have signed off on many procedures and operations, and you know, for some reason, our medical system says that they people have to come to me and make sure that they are sound mined before they get the surgery. I understand the need for that. I also don't appreciate the way that it is put upon my hands. Right, their body is now in my hands I don't appreciate that type of responsibility for another human being, but I also understand that the process of that though, before, during, and after, there's a lot of emotional responsibility that has to be put in place. And so whether you are getting implants or they're getting to take them out, or you're getting a sex change, or you're getting you know, ass no, you're just getting there's some type of procedure, right, there is a process to your body is going to change, the weight of you, is going to change the way that you are, How you see yourself in the mirror, how you feel yourself in the mirror, and how you know yourself in the mirror are three different worlds, right, And I think that as as a healer and as a and as a professional, we have to take an account that you're still going to be the same person on that couch after you're done. Yeah, and are and are you? And before we get into that, are you able to be yourself in front of me? Now? Right? Is the implant or taking an other plant going to make you a better person? Right? Does that make you a better person? What's your intention? Right? Right? What's your desire? What's your effect? How do you want people to treat you after? What are you looking for? Because why couldn't you have that before? So there's a lot of questions that go into this, and we go through all of that before, during, and after. So I know we're going to talk about it, but this preparation requires an insight out perspective. Yeah, and you know, I'm so glad that when I when I called you, I said, were changing the whole serious in July. That's good, Yeah, I. Said, we changing the whole serious in July. And I know last week we talked about you know, me being ill, you know, being down for a week, and I believe I needed to be still to make that decision to do that. Otherwise I would not have done that. I would have just went on and all this and did my surgery and not set in this because this is a part of my journey, This is a part of my purpose. You understand what I'm saying. The one thing I remember sitting down at my alter, and I remember when that came to do this this series, this dedicated series for July, and I remember sitting there, I was like, there is some guilt that you are going to have to let people know about because there is guilt behind it. There are choices and decisions that we made. Whether it was for a financial gain, a physical gain, or a vanity gain. These were choices and decisions that I made. I remember when I decided to do it, you know, to take the ex plant out in the beginning. In the first place, I remember going through those emotional you know things right there, because I'm like, you know, I can be the very reason or why I feel this way. I remember telling my doctor and he was like, you know what you want to get you a new neurologist. I said, no, I said, I'm going to take these implants out and then let's see. Then I want to come back after that and see what happens. I said, I need to take accountability for what I've put into my body that can possibly be the reason on why I'm sick. You know, I think once I got that in my head to understand that that was a life changing choice that I made, and now I have to make another life changing Now these are twenty plus years that I've had. These implants were not the same ones, but you know that implants in my body so majority of my adult life, I've seen myself this way, I've made millions off of this body. You know what I'm saying. This has been a part of my identity. So how can I get ready for this? And I remember my surgeons seeing amazing surgeon doctor sued, you know, he was like, you know, he said, I advise you, if you haven't already, is to seek a therapist, he said, because you will go through something mentally with this. That's something that I want to tell all of the women. It's because when we were searching for something outside of ourselves, and that's one reason why we got the implanse in the first place. Now, what are you going? What are you going to feel who you are once you leave? And I love that you had said about those questions that you ask taking the implants out or putting the implans is you're thinking, that's going to change who you are, going to change the way that people look at you, and just be honest, you will get some folks out there that we were looking at you differently. But does that matter to you? Are you searching for that valid outside validation? I guess I'm nowhere. I'm not there. I've done my work. I'm not looking for outside validation right now. I'm looking to be back at one hundred percent so I'm able to do everything that God has given me to do, you understand. And so that is why I knew that I needed to be here. I needed to be able to speak and share this story, not only mine, but also with the other women there that let's take the shame away from it. This is a choice and the decision that we made at whatever age. Learn Now we go better. Now we know what it is. Now let's take it out. Is they're blame to put. It's blame to put all over the place, but let's take our ponssibility first, listen to them for what we're doing. And because my thing is, let's share our story on what we do so we can bring other women that's even just want to thinking that they have to be able to get implants to make them feel better. And that's why I said, well, I really need to get doctor will on this because I needed to come from a mental standpoint from speaking with a therapist, you know, to help you. If you're listening to this and you're deciding that that's something that you want to do to get an implant, really go in and do your research and don't take I'm sorry, don't take the doctors of one hundred because a lot of them out there is just for the money and the procedure. They're they're they're there to do their job right. And I think, and I don't I don't want it to be I don't want it to sound like doctors don't care. But it's a doctor's job to do their job right. And to do their job well is how they care. Mm hmm, right, they care about doing their job well. And and my job is to make sure that you're well. Right, their job is do the job well. My job is to be well with you. And and so there's a responsibility that's different from a doctor and a therapist, right, and and and and the cost of that is what you're willing to accept about yourself and and and for those that are deciding to get implants, and like, I'm fine, I'm fine with that. Are you okay with that? And what does it mean to be what does it mean to be okay with that? What's the lifestyle that you want to look at? And And I don't think that many people ask that question, and what are you hoping to get from it? Because I've been recently seeing a lot of young women in their early mid twenties getting implants and then going on the snapchat and trying to create a following. I don't see anything wrong with that. I also see everything wrong with that at the same time, because because it's it's a matter of what's your intention? Yeah, right, if that is what you want to do. But then but then who are you talking to as you're processing? Because you see them on the end now, now, I mean you see them on the end where you've seen the good, the bad, the ugly, you've seen all you you've seen the success, you've seen the thing you've seen. And for them it's their first day on the job, you know, and so and so all they have is aspiration, right, All they have is aspiration. And I wish aspiration was enough intention to mean wellness. Yeah. I even love how you just said that. And that's truth. You know. For so so many years, I've been researching b I breast illness, implant illness for a while, but I hadn't really you know, just really got into it till I really started getting sick, you know. And that's why I'm like and going in and the frustration is going to the doctor and they don't have an answer. But the only thing they have for me is medication to take. But I'm still down days at a time, brain fog. You know. Sometimes you guys hear me. Sometimes I can't even get my words together because I can see them, but I can't put them together. And it's like, Okay, what's happening, Like, you know, I know my MoMA has you know, you know, when she had dementia, but I know I ain't there, So come on. Like, what's right? You know? Yeah, And so with all of those, when I go down the list and I see that, I'm like wow, And I think about when I got When I decided to get my implants, I had just had my second baby. My boobs were down, you know, with just and I was like, Okay, I'm gonna get these so they can look good and so I can be able to At that time, I was with a singing group and I was modeling, so it was a part of my whole image, you know. That was why I got them, you know, for my image and just because I ain't want to be, you know, them sagging down, you know. But then once that then I was able to put it into different things. I was able to use it for my career and do amazing things for it. But now that I see on the on the downside of it, on what is doing not only to my body, but I've read so many millions of women stories on out immune disease that it got camped like so many different things that come from bags that has been sold to us in misinformation. You know, you know what I'm saying. And so just going through that whole thing and even the research now in the past few months, when I say, I saw a video just the other day, a lady was saying, and I can I remember my doctor telling me that I can breastfeed with my implants. This one lady said her implants had ruptured, ruptured, and she was breastfeeding her baby, and her baby was ill, and I believe her baby has a form of autism. I forgot what it was autism, but it was something that was in there. And I'm gonna do a whole show on this one. But it was a a medic not a medica, a metal type of form that was in the bag that was harmful for women, but it's doubly harmful for children. And they found that it was tested in the baby system. Oh wow, when did it come? And I remember when I had my last baby and I had my impluse, So I remember I was very nervous about breastfeeding her, and I remember I was like, I'm not gonna breastfeed her for long. I breast for it for a month because I felt so uncomfortable with knowing that I heard. Yeah, yeah, it was in. The back of my mind and my head on that with certain things that they would say that you have to look for. And I remember after I saw that video just the other day, it was like a rush of guilt and everything just came through. Was like, oh my God, like the things that we do to ourselves and our bodies to be successful in this world. You understand what I'm saying, Just like wow, And if anything, if anybody is listened to, I'm not trying to shame anyone, because I was in the exact same situation and the exact same thing. But then I did not know any better because the information that was given to us. I mean, you remember they had I don't know, I don't know if you got old, but they had actually took implants off. Well, you couldn't get them, and you only could get the sailing. So at first, really pilicon, it was just silicon, and then they banned all right, So my very first one that I had, they were sailing, they were saving high profile because of course you hear the whole thing. Okay, I'm not gonna get and then they started to release the silicon. And it's supposed to be a silicon version that was more healthy for anxiety or such and such and such and such. So when I went in and got my second pair, I got silicon, you know, silicon based, you know, with that one, And that is where that is when I started to really feel things shifting after I had my last child, when my health started getting really bad, and when you sit back and you think about that, all of those things come in your mind, you know what I mean. Yeah, so it's like wow, okay, all right, hmmm. So that was one of the things that truly said, you know what, you really have to make this decision, which I've already made it, but you have to solidify this and lock it down. But also you need to do you don't have to scream it to the top of your lungs, like all right, red flags, honey, these are we we got to figure out something else to get them boobies to be sitting up. And you know what I'm saying, look fullness, because this is not it. Yeah, So I I want to like, I love this story because I want people to normalize awareness right the way that you were misinformed, But then also you were in the higher the moment of just like really just trying to get to the next step, next stage in life, and you're willing to do whatever it takes. That that is a very common denominator of the American dream. We are all willing to sacrifice something of ourselves so that we can get to a place to feel like we've secured the bag in our own way, right. And like for me, like I wanted that doctor so bad that I was up till four or five am every night for eight years. About know when I was losing sleep, gaining weight, being comfortable with drinking at night. We all just have a little whiskey here, I'll have a little bit of no, Like I gain weight, right, alcohol was a killer for my body, so I had to get my body back together, right, And so there was a moment where we had to learn that the sacrifice, the sacrifice is usually a short term survival mindset, right, it's a survival mindset, and now we're trying to learn how to live again. And so the first question of even going into this is what are you surviving from? What are you surviving from right now to get to where you want to get to? What are you sacrificing? What are you okay with sacrificing? Because are you okay within twenty to thirty years there might be a problem. Are you okay with that? Right? The way that I'm stretching now with my body, I'm gonna be dealing with that when in the next thirty years. So I got it. So I can start doing yoga right now. I do my bilodies right now because I know in about thirty years, I'm gonna be gonna be rough. My joints aren't gonna be the same. Yeah, right, So it's like normalizing the awareness and the information. And that's why I'm so glad that you're being bold, you're being transparent, and you're also strong enough to be vulnerable in your own process in this moment. So, like I just want to say, I just appreciate the level of transparency that you're creating right now on this talk. Thank you, you know, and I say this all the time. We all have an amazing gift that we were just given. And I'm truly our voice, that's truly our life, that's truly our story, and we are supposed to be in service of one another. And my in service is to share my journey, how beautiful, how ugly, how still it can be. That is a part of my purpose, that is a part of my service to others. And I know we talked about this a lot about having the mask off. I don't care how much makeup I have on. My mask is off. I remember saying to people when we used to talk about fake I said, the only thing on me is the color context that I might be wearing in my boobs. That's it the end. Now, all I can say is just tax now. And I could take them out to put my clear to put something in the. Seeo ass and see how to be right, but you know, just. Going through and this is one thing is And it was so funny because as I was sitting at my altar and I just all everything just revealed itself, just building stuff like me being in the adult industry, I would have never thought that if you met me, and he would have never thought that I would have been in the adults. Here I am in the adult industry, one of the tops in the game, in the adult industry. Then all of a sudden, I leave. I'm gone. I'm gone, at the top of my game, I'm gone. And then here I am on radio, then I you know, from radio, then my podcast. Without me going through the adult industry, there will be no axs Naomi. Without no ax Naomi, there will be no season or self love. Without no season and self love, I wouldn't have been able to figure out what was going on with my body because with the season and self love. Even going through that process, that was my spiritual journey. That was me knowing where I connected and where I want to be fluid in and knowing that, oh, you got a form I'm thinking your body, so you can't even be one hundred percent when it just fully you understand what I'm saying that there is to connect into there, you know. So with all of that, even with adult industry, I was more spiritual than religion because I knew that I had to be prayful, you know, I knew I prayed in my card every day I knew my relationship with God is what brought me through the adult industry. That helped me mentally, physically, emotional, and spiritually. So all of that brought me here. But not only that, but it brought me to you. You understand what I'm saying. You wouldn't have known who I was if you wasn't looking at asks Nam, bridget Gap or whatever as you did before me. You understand what I'm saying. But in that case, and even some of these other beautiful people, I would not have known that. So there would not have been a community to be able to be a part of a voice for this, you know. And so even in knowing all of that and understanding that that is that helped me to make this life changing, this system, it makes it so much easier because once again, it's not all about me. This is so much bigger than me. You know what I'm saying, I gotta ask I gotta ask you, I gotta ask you. You know. Hearing that makes me think about the pre during in the post and you know what you're currently hoping it does for you? What are you hoping it does afterwards? Because there's so much that's that that's aware right now, you know. And I say hope intentionally because I don't need you to have it because you already have it, right and you're talking to people that are learning how to have it. So I want to I want to hear what your hope is. What does what does this removal represent to you? This removal you know what completion? Mmma, you know why? Because once I remove these, then I will behold, I will be at one. That's a whole other language to your body. That's a whole other language to your body. Yes, yes, so now this will be my natural form. You you got my natural form from the wisdom that I have right now, the spiritual, the experience that I have right now. Oh mm hmm, that's a whole another thing. Yeah, wow, yeah, you know it's I like the way you say that because I'm used to when I talk to my clients and they and once they're done with their surgeries, you know, they get they get implants and they have their bodies wrapped and all that, and you know, I asked them like, you know, you know, do you feel complete? Do you feel like everything is together now? And they're like, no, I still gotta I still gotta get my rent paid. No, I still gotta do this, Like I said this, and I'm like, well, no, do you you feel complete? I know those are things you get to manage and maintenance, but do you feel complete? And they're learning how to understand what this complete feel like? So can you kind of describe, like what does complete feel like as a lifestyle for you? Like what would that look like in your terms? For me? You know, me spiritually mentally, if I'm there, I've always well spiritually and mentally, I mean mostly I'm there physically, I am not physically, I am not. What the complete looks like for me is that where I can be up and I can be of sound mind. You know what I'm saying that I can be able to I know that my vocabulary going to go back to what it was before. You know, like what's boom boom boom? Like I usually can do a wrap off the top of my head. You understand what's like? I know my mental capacity is where it was and where it is now. You know. I know that, and I know what it looks like for me to be complete. Money never completed me, Finances or you know, different materialistic things has never been a completion of me. What always been a completion of me, is of my spirit and is of the God's within me, and knowing that there is nothing else that is of an interruption of it. And I'm about to take it a little further. Just going to church. I remember I used to look at that used to be a blockage of me to my connection with God. You understand what I'm saying. And so I know that I can sit in my prayer and my meditation and I have that connection with God, you know. But I also know that I have these two bags in my body. I thank them for what they've given me in the past years. But right now we are no longer in lying with one of its another. We are no longer And the thing is, can I be honest. I needed these bags to allow me to get to the catapult to where I was. You understand. So I thank you for but we're no longer aligned. You know. I even a vision. Maybe my booze will be messed up, but that's okay. I'm good with that. I'm good because you won't see me naked no more. That is yeah, right, you know so, But I'm good with that because I know that everything that I went through in life that it was more than just for me, even if it was just for my daughters, or even for a person who's listening to whether it's a man and he can tell this girl and his wife baby, No, I was just listening to Naomi and doctor will on that. You know, maybe not to do that. You understand, because when we sit and we talk, we're talking from our experience from the real world. We're not talking from the point of a doctor or an excuse my language, or what they say where they're doing their job, which space to where we have the affected by whatever that is. And I can say this is it universal, No, it is not. But if I would have known ahead of time how it would do, I would have been standing at that cross world as I talk about, and it would have gave me an opportunity to make a decision really based from me, but not only that, but also for my child that I had after my implant, if that makes sense. So with the wholeness now, what it's given me, the completion for me is now I'm no longer wondering. I'm no longer wondering any more of anything. That I can sit in all of everything in my awareness and be totally open to it, but also I can be of action of it and not be laying down to where I feel disabilitated. You know what I'm saying. That's what I'm looking forward to. I'm looking forward to be able to travel the world and touch people and be able to speak to people. That is what my completion looks like, is doing what God intended me to do. Yeah. Yeah, So this really is a rebirth for you, and it's not even the way that you understand completion. It sounds like a resolve. You're finally resolving, right, you went, you cycled, you went up, You're closing. Right. It's a closure, right, It's a closure, and that's I have to think about how many people in this world are living without closure. Many times. The mental illness that I treat is you can we can name all the diagnosis you want, add know, a diversion. I'm like you, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, But it's so much unresolved emotions, not understanding, not being told what happened, no accountability. Yeah right, that's what it comes down to. And to hear you talk about resolve, I hope that the people that are going into this I understand that there's probably something that's unresolved in them, right, And I hope they continue that process after the surgery or they're choosing them when they're wondering what does resolve look like in their life? Right? What do you want to continue? What do you no longer want to continue? And why? Yeah, we never get to we never get to hear that part in people's lives. And I think that and I'm so glad we're getting your why right now. Yeah. You know when you say, because I was a white girl, I always had to have an answer. And it's so funny just when I say that this is my answer, just everything in life that I went through, just it's been my answer has always been there. But a lot of times I wasn't. I was always in the in the driver's seat and controlling. And when I started to surrender, when I started to look get things from a different perspective and not being that I'm the victim that everything get is happening to me, but also taking accountability for the choices that I have made, but also in those choices that I may, embracing them because that is who made who I am. You know what I mean? Every single one of whether they were good or bad, that is who I am. But I also can take the accountability if I brought somebody else on wanted in that situation. So I can go to them and take that accountability and apologize for and as much as I want to do right if they allow me to. If they don't, then that's on them on their healing process. I've done my part on it, you know, and just move forward. And I think that's what I've come through in all of my life. I can say, really in the past thirteen fourteen years has really been hard. But I believe God has prepared me oh of my life. When I sit down and look at it, but it's like now actively I've been doing it, actively, speaking about it and sharing it. That's my work. That's a part of my completion all of that. That's what that is. And I like when you say a resolution, yeah, yeah, yeah, you know, I no longer when I look at my mom and my dad there, that abandonment isn't like that anymore, you know what I'm saying. That abandonment was a part of what built my character. Why I was so driven, you understand. But knowing who my parents is and really sitting down there and watching their life and hearing their story. Oh now I get it. Now, I can't take it personal. Then the books that I've been reading and things like that, like you know when I talk about the Four Agreements, I read that book all the time, all the time, because it has to remind me when I'm having relationships with people, when I'm speaking of people, that I can't take what they say personally. I'm a person I used to debate my asshof you know, because I had to be right. No, no, I don't have to be right. Now I can see your point of view. Oh okay, oh you said that. It ain't even about me because right now you're going through something. I don't know exactly what you're doing, but I'm gonna pray for you. Yeah, you know. And when I'm in that mode, you know, and I know we talked before. Before we talked about it, a lot of people don't like that. A lot of people don't like because they want to see you, that old version of you. They want to see you that person is always trying to be there and help or always want to be the one who ask and they feed off of that. But when they see you like this, how should get that way? I get that way? What they do right? What they're doing? Are you just acting different? I'm like no, I really did work on myself and the truth is that I'm very transparent in my life and I think a lot of times it's gonna sound weird to say this, but people are so used to you being a representation of yourself that the actual authenticity of you is is so unsaturated with the with these things that we've learned to create value from, like the things I have, the things I give, the things I offer. I'm like no. Like when you make a life decision, when you when you're really when you're when you want to be really be an adult and you want to make a real life decision and you really want to rebirth yourself and recreate yourself, you realize that everything that you've encountered and been through and raisdrom no longer has the same power. It no longer has the same power. I don't and I don't care about what this is gonna sound. This is gonna sound so terrible, But for those that are healers, they're gonna understand what I'm saying. I don't care about what my mom went through. I don't care about what my father did. I don't care what I did to my friend. I don't care about what they did to me. I don't care about how I was used. I don't care about how I don't. I don't care about that anymore. I have chosen this next path through me and I realized that all those things I went through were lessons that were meant to be learned through. And I'm willing to take that risk and that jump into that type of accountability. And I am no longer structured under your judgment or shame, or false accusation or prosecutory behaviors or beliefs. I am. I'm no longer willing to be accustomed to your cycle. Mm hm right. I am not going to accommodate your illness into my wellness. And I think that is the preparation of rebirth is knowing that those past things no longer have a decision in your life. If you cannot remove yourself from that, just accept that you're going to be like everybody else. Mm hmmm, that you won't purify yourself. You won't. You will not. I'm not, and I'm not, and I'm not one to be like, you will not do something. I don't like saying that to people, but that is something I'm very strict about. I'm very strict about. Now and I truly hope that the listeners truly understand what you're saying. And that's like for me, even again, going back to making a decision to take the inputs out. I am so real and raw and authentic in my journey. How can I talk about rebirth? How can I talk about being authenticity when so that the very choice that I've made could be the possible thing that is blocking me for truly growing in my fullness? Yes, you know being we're talking about self love. You know what I'm saying. What you look like without them? Now? You know Now, I don't want my things to be staggering, but you understand what I'm saying. But it's like embracing, you know, all of that, all of me completely. And I couldn't continue to sit here and speak of self love when I have these in me because that is a part of, you know, low self esteem, regardless if I got it for whatever, it was a part of my low self esteem. You know, we all have it. Period. I don't care one hundred percent of this world has low self seem in some manner, you know, somewhere, But for me, it's like, no, let me tell am I being? Am I perfect? No, nowhere near. But I love the process of becoming perfect or the idea that I can be perfect. So yeah, I really, I really hope that when people are listening to this, they can recognize first what is the life changing decision they have to make. And it's not if they're ready or not to do it, it's what would you have to do to prepare for it? Yeah, and what does that look like financially, emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually, Like you were saying, what are the things that you need to truly believe that you can repair? You can repare for this prepared to prepare for this rebirth? And that's that's the next step. That is the next step to making a life changing decision. Yeah, you know it is. You know when I when I sit and I'm not I got all this stuff written down, We ain't doing none of the stuff that I ran down here. We have it, and you know, and I love it because it's so natural. We got other shows that we can kind of you know, get into you know the whole thing about But because this is a part of being prepared for you know, everyone's story is so different. You all, your story is so different, whether you're listening as a woman with implants and thinking about getting them out, or you a part of the excuse my language of e BDTD committee group and you and you want to get some I just want you to be able this month. I really want you to see it on all angles so you can go in with a sound decision for yourself. You understand what sam with everything. So I'm going to work on trying to get as many people as possible so you can hear their version on how they do it. Because a lot of people, a lot of women who has gotten their breast removed, I have gotten implants again, you know, all over again. But that's their choice in their decis to do that, you know. But for me, me on my journey, no, this is a life changing experience for me. And let's not even just talk about like you said, I'm talking about whatever. We're even getting a new job, even leaving your job and wanting to start a new business. These are life changing decisions that you do have to make. And like doctor Will said, extra question. Ask yourself these questions, Why am I doing that? What are my attentions behind that? What am I looking to get for when I'm making these decisions? You know? Am I? And the thing is am I healed enough for when it might not work? Because it might not work? You know? Do I have the courage? Do I have the resilience to keep going and making that become to what it is? You know? And and this isn't this isn't a hard conversation. Well, this is a very intentional conversation. And you don't get a lot of lanes to go down. This is a one lane. You either going to see the life changing decision that you must prepare for, or you walk away from it and say I'm not ready yet, or let me be still and knowing it's my time. But whether you are still or you walk away, you will come back to it. Everybody leaves the nest that comes back. That's just how it is. I wish it was different, but you don't leave a nest to go to another nest. You somehow come back. So there is a homecoming in everybody's journey. And if it's a test to see if you've grown or not, let that be that. But I hope that this is the beginning of a beautiful journey. Yeah, oh it is for me, but I'm with him. I know it's going to be a beautiful journey once you And this is where So let me say this because you know, with the world, we're going through some crazy times right now, and you know a lot of times, a lot of people want to fear monger a lot of things, you know what I'm saying. And it's so in life we are built to what else? Yeah, what ifs? That's how I say for your question in the beginning, why are you doing this? I remember asking myself the question, even when I was doing asks Naomi, the season and stelf Love all of these things, Why are you doing this? I ask myself that why are you doing this? And why? It's because I want to make sure that I am still aligned with my purest intention. You know that there is no other hidden agenda that this is who If I learned something new every day, whether I'm talking to doctor Will, whether I'm looking whether I'm reading, I am learning something every day that goes into my arsul of tools of life. You know, So when I think about this, it's like there are I have children that I birth, that's birthing other children, that's birthing other children, and that is one of my first responsibilities is to them, you know. So I might not have hundreds of millions of dollars to leave them, but I can leave them some wisdom and knowledge about them, watching their mother, their grandmother and go and see and that will put that pin in their back, like Okay, let me sit back and let me listen to this, let me see what this is. Let me go through this. Let me be a part of that self love, so I can love myself so when I go out into this world, and I can attract those that will attract that good love to me. And if they at least I know what that looks like. Does that make sense? Yeah? It does. And I think what you're attracting in this moment is well, it's authenticity. First of all, people that are willing to face authenticity are willing to understand that there is no right, wrong, good, or bad. Right to be in your presence, you have to remove shame, guilt, fear to be in your presence, to be your still friend. I had to make sure that I was coming correct. I had to make sure I was not in shame, fear, guilt, and I told you things that I'm not proud of love in my life, and and yet we're here, right. That is a level of authenticity that goes beyond any surgery, that goes beyond any type of maladaptive behavior, any type of symptom, trait, neurological condition. It is are you willing to accept what you are speaking from? Are you willing to accept where your what your body's telling you. You're about to be listening to your body in a way that you have never yet well a long time ago, right, But on another deeper level, the body you had before did not have this same spiritual power as it did before. So the way I don't know what you're gonna hear when you wake up, I'm ready likes of your purpose playing purpose paper because you might do this, might do audio, just do voice recording and you could transcribe it later. You have ais to transcribe it later, because I'm just I'm so curious about how you're going to see the world. Because you talk about self esteem, but your self concept is going to change completely, right, self concept being who am I based upon the way that people treat me. Right, you create an identity basis about how you think people treat you, You're gonna be on a whole other level. I don't know what it's going to say, so I don't know. I don't know what it's going to say, but I'm here for it. I'm a witness, so I'm gonna be a witness. I'm gonna be a witness. I'm the front row. So I'm I'm excited for you, I'm proud of you, and and most importantly, i'm I'm so, I'm so in tune with you because I feel I feel your heart beating, the passion of change happening, and that that that type of rebirth, to feel yourself birth in yourself and choosing to birth yourself again. Yeah, it's beautiful. Yeah, you know, it's so crazy. In the beginning of the year, I wasn't thinking about explained when I I talked about rebirth. When I talked about rebirth, I didn't know this was what it was going to be like you. You know me, I got everything. I got outlast, I got things. You know me, I got everything, Yeah, to the t to the t. Now I'm about to use you and use me, baby, this is the best way to use me. And and when I tell you, I feel full. And now when you when I've met you and you said no about overflowing, I feel full and overflowing. Yes I do, yes, overflow. And that's and that's and that's the final step to healing as a lifestyle is you don't have to keep your cup anymore to people, You just have to sit your cup still and let whatever pours out be there for anybody to catch. You don't have to keep your cup anymore. And that's that's the self work that we we hope everybody can get to. Yeah, yeah, you know. Also it's something that I want to share when even making these life changes decisions. You know, when you when you think about making those life changes decisions, don't try to do it to be with the Joneses or be like the Joneses. You understand, be like that next I G. Model or you know those people that's making you know, find your own path. And I think that's the hardest thing. I remember looking at the other day. I was looking at the Michael Jordan's the one the Last Dance, Oh yeah, and I was just looking how so many people just followed him around and there was no social media then him and woman Michael Jackson. You know, there was no social media around, and if you saw they, they couldn't even have a regular life outside of basketball, just of their influence and being out there. You know, when I think, when I think of that, and I think about the times right now, it's like your legacy that you want to leave behind is surely to be of service to others, to teach people to love themselves. So it can be a ripple effect in this world, you know. So it can be one less war, so it can be one less murders. It'll be one less rape, you understand what I'm saying. Yeah, and that one less divorce, one less abuse. You know, when we start to tap into those things you know before it's about spirituality and sexuality and it's still there too. But if we ain't got no self love, we can't talk about sexuality. If you don't if you don't understand your identity. We can't talk about that. How do you exist exactly? That's that's existentialism. Yes, what is the purpose of your life? Why why do you breathe? What's your what's the definition of you? And through my life. I found out what's the definition of me. I got this one little thing and I'm gonna share right now that I've taken every name where my nickname, my mary name, my my stage name. And I looked them up and see where all of the meanings are. And let me tell you something. They are on point wow. They are all on point wow. And and add that in with my values, my values, not with nobody else's values, what they think my value should be, but the value that I live by and I you and when I look at so all, yeah, that's the dope ass goddess right there. Oh I was that one and I've been that one. Yeah, I'm becoming that one. Yeah. Yeah, So there's a person that I think Miss Dorothy she Dorothy wrote. She said that when you have meditations and you have a guide, it's usually your future self pulling you through. In your dream, your future self, you connect so high that you actually connect to a future self. A future self can actually see you, right, and it pulls you through. And who better else pull you through than yourself? Right, because you know it's best for you and inspiritually shows you the world that you can create if you choose yourself today? Yeah, and I think this is a calling, a call to action on what will it take for you to choose yourself today? What will that be. To choose yourself today? I like that, listeners, did y'all hear that? Say that? One more time? Doctor way before we leave? Yeah, what would it take for you to choose yourself today? Give yourself five to ten minutes, write it out, envision it, and then choose an affirmation to help ground yourself in that. What would it take for you to choose yourself today? Truly? Truly, truly, And before I leave, I want to do this. This is something that we hadn't did in a long time. This is when I first started the season and self love. I used to have a beginning meditation and an ending meditation just for this month. I'm going to do out meditation right now. Yeah, So right now, if you I can just close your eyes for a moment to get really relaxed. All right, there you go, all right, Place one hand on your heart in one of your belly. Now, I want you to feel your breath moving through your body now with each in hell, I want you to breathe in clarity, encourage, and with each excel, I want you to release any doubt or fear that doesn't serve you. Now I want you to visualize yourself standing confident at the crossworlds of your decision. You're not rushing, you're not afraid, You're simply present with yourself. Now, feel the wisdom in your body, the love in your heart, and the strengthen your spirit. And now I want you to say to yourself, I trust my body's wisdom, and I honor my journey. I choose what serves my highest good. And take one month deep breath in, and when you are ready, gently open your eyes. All right, my beautiful people, Again, this is something new. We used to do this in the beginning of the season and self level when we used to do an intro to the beginning of our episode in and at the end, and I thought this was so. I thought this needed to be in this month because I knew even for me that going through this life changing transformation and also speaking of this, that we needed an extra And that's why when you even said that about affirmation and love, that's that's just should right on, you know, into it. So we were again once again aligned, once aligned. You know, one thing is that I've learned on my whole my healing journey is about trusting my intuition. Trusting my intuition, and I know on several different occasions episodes we talked about truly listening to our bodies. That's one thing that I truly hold dear to my heart is listening to my body. Now, when my body tells me to rest, I rest. And usually when it tells me to rest, there's usually something that I'm supposed to be paying attention to that I wasn't because I was moving too fast. And a lot of times I spoke about this last month and several of the episodes that we have to be more aware. We have to be more aware more than anything now of our self because we can't control anyone else, but we can control more of ourselves. So that's where we need to start to be aware and start to learn who we are. Learn who you are. This is where self love comes from. This is whether self reflection comes from. This is where all of those things come from that we talked about throughout all the time, and when doctor will talked about asking yourself those questions about why you are getting ready to make those decisions and those choices in your life that can be life changing, not only for you but for your family. This is the time it is. We're going to the latter half of the year. Now, you know this has been a past year. Yeah, we half we're we'll pass halfway through. So it's like it just change happens so fast. Yeah, it does, it does, all right, Doctor will again, thank you for an amazing episode. Here, do you have any lest man, Be kind to yourself and you're always. Beautiful, beautiful, all right, be beautiful people. Well I will see you all tomorrow and you see doctor World next week. So keep loving yourself deeply and just trusting, trusting the journey. Have an amazing day. Thank you for joining us on this journey of discovering and empowerment here at the Season and Self Love Podcast. Remember, embracing self love is a continuous journey, and we're so glad to have you with us. So if you enjoy today's episode, please leave us a review and don't forget to join our community on Facebook at Season and Self Love connect with like minded individuals who are also on their self love journey. Now, if you have any questions or topics that you'd like for us, to explore. We love to hear from you. Email us at season usseelf Love at gmail dot com and let your voice be heard. So until next time, take a moment for yourself to day and remember you are worthy of love, joy and all the beautiful things that life has to offer. A long