Embracing Mindfulness and Transformation with Bob Martin | Wisdom Wednesday

[00:00:00] Welcome to the Season of Self Love podcast. I am your host, Nyomi Banks, and I am thrilled to have you join me on this transformative journey. You see, every day we dive into a powerful conversation about self-discovery, healing, and empowerment. This podcast is brought to you by Ask Nyomi and Elevate Me Self Discovery, where we believe that loving yourself is the first step to living a fulfilling life.

[00:00:26] You can expect insightful discussions, practical tips, and inspiring stories. Plus, we'll occasionally welcome special guests who will share their unique perspectives on self-love and personal growth. So get comfy, grab your favorite beverage, and let's embark on this journey together. Because it's time to embrace the beautiful person that you are. So let's elevate our lives one episode at a time. Now let's get started.

[00:00:57] All right, my beautiful people. Welcome back to the Season of Self Love podcast, where you get your daily dose of inspiration. I am your host, Nyomi Banks, and I am so excited to continue this month's series with New Beginnings. The series is all about embracing transformation and letting go of what no longer serves us and stepping into the lives we truly deserve. And today we are diving deep into the power of mindfulness transformation and the courage it takes to change your path. Joining us is an incredible guest, Bob Martin.

[00:01:27] Bob Martin has one of the most remarkable journeys from a high-powered criminal trial lawyer during the Miami's infamous cocaine cowboy era to becoming a meditation teacher, a mindfulness coordinator, and author. His story is a testament of power of stepping into your truth and finding peace amidst chaos. But before we meet Bob, let's take a quick break, all right?

[00:01:55] It's your girl, D. Goddess, Nyomi Banks here on the Season of Self Love podcast, and we'll be right back. Hey, it's your girl, D. Goddess, Nyomi Banks, and make sure you tune in every Thursday night to Ask Naomi's Bridging the Gap podcast, where we talk about everything from love, sex, relationship, cultural differences, and so much more, while bridging the gap between them all. And we even talk about spiritual oblivion. You need to stop by meand.com, Mike Mike, as well as the BTG group.

[00:02:23] We have some amazing guests that come through. You never know. Just make sure you tune in Thursday night, 6 p.m. Pacific Standard Time. Go to AskNyomi.com and tell them I am the future. All right, welcome back to the Season of Self Love podcast. I am your host, Nyomi Banks. And joining us today is the incredible guest, Bob Martin. Bob Martin has had one of the most remarkable journeys from a high-powered criminal trial lawyer

[00:02:52] during the Miami infamous cocaine cowboy era to becoming a meditation teacher, mindfulness coordinator, and author. His story is a testament of power in stepping into your truth and finding peace amidst chaos. Before we dive into Bob's conversation with Bob, let's just ground ourselves for a moment, all right? If you could take a deep breath in and hold it for a moment.

[00:03:23] Now exhale. And I want you to visualize yourself standing in the middle, at the beginning of a new path. I want you to imagine the sunlight streaming down, warming your face, and illuminating the road ahead.

[00:03:46] Let go of any tensions in your shoulders as you breathe in and feel a sense of possibility. Now as you exhale, I want you to release anything that is holding you back. This is your moment to embrace new beginnings. Now take another deep breath in and exhale.

[00:04:12] And when you are ready, open your eyes to join me for this powerful conversation. All right, my beautiful people. If you are new here to the Season of Self-Love Podcast, it's something that we do every day, Monday through Friday. Just to help center ourselves and just before we get into the topic of hand. Bob, thank you so much for joining us today. Your story is truly fascinating. Let's start at the beginning. You spent years as a criminal trial lawyer during one of Miami's most turbulent eras.

[00:04:41] Can you tell us what that was like? It was, I guess in its own way, it was an exciting time. But it was certainly, for Miami, it was certainly like being on a roller coaster. You know the movies Scarface and the old TV show Miami Vice really captures the vibe that Miami really was during those years.

[00:05:11] Beautiful. You know, Scarface is my favorite movie. One of my favorite movies. It's a good movie. And those kinds of characters were all over the place. Tony Montana. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. It sounded like such a high stake environment. Was there moments that made you realize that you needed to make a change? Yeah. I was pulled into the craziness of that and the fame and the glory.

[00:05:41] And, you know, I mean, I was making a lot of money. Paid my house off by the time I was 32. And I had some clients that were pretty high connected up into the cartels and the mob and the like. So I would say that, you know, I started hanging out with them. And my professional life stayed good. But my personal life was hitting the skids. And I was seeing a therapist.

[00:06:09] And it was through my therapist that I actually was introduced to a 72nd generation Taoist master from the Shaolin Temple. Who taught me something about finding mastery in life. And that was just transformational for me. Beautiful. Thank you.

[00:06:38] Thank you. So you were talking. If you can tell us about from being in the courtroom to the teaching mindfulness, what was your transition like? After you met with your master, Chun Nai. And now from that teachings, how was your transition now going for you? Yeah.

[00:07:02] So everything kind of came together with a certain synchronicity because I learned and studied under Master Nee. And what he taught me was how to move towards being masterful in life. And if I can just take a moment and define what I mean by that. Yes, please do.

[00:07:25] If you to live life so that it is more effortless, but yet more effective and more efficient. If you're accomplishing things by doing less with less effort, that would be gaining a certain mastery in life.

[00:07:45] Because if you look at the great people who seem to have a wonderful handle on life, they seem to move through life in a kind of slow and deliberate fashion. It doesn't seem rushed. It doesn't seem forced. And yet they accomplish great things. So that's what Master Nee showed me that was accomplishable because he had accomplished it.

[00:08:12] And then he showed me the practices where you begin to go down that path. So that's going on on one level. On another level, I have these mob clients. And it turns out that we had some very clear agreements about what I would and wouldn't do legally for them. And I would not do anything unethical. And I would not do anything illegal.

[00:08:39] And I was able to convince them that it was in their best interest to have a lawyer whose word was respected by the courts. You know, if I could go into the court and say to the judge this, that, or the other thing, and I was accepted and I was trusted, that was good for them. So it all worked out well up until the point where Johnny's son got arrested and charged. And then there was no saying no to Johnny.

[00:09:08] He wanted me to do some stuff, which I wasn't willing to do. And that put me in a real bind because even if he got another lawyer, I would be obligated to report that lawyer knowing he was acting unethically. Oh, wow. So this is now, that's the second thing that comes together. The third thing, I'm driving my ex-wife up to New York where her parents are. And we passed through North Carolina and the azaleas are out and the dogwoods are blooming.

[00:09:37] And it was just beautiful. And I said, let's move here. So I went back and said to Johnny, I'm moving to North Carolina. And he put out his hand and shook my hand. And he said, that's fine, Bob. Sometimes a man just has to move on. And we never heard from them again, gratefully. So I moved to North Carolina. And then the second, the last piece is all of a sudden I was given the opportunity to start my life over.

[00:10:06] I had a fresh and clean canvas. I went back. I started my career as a DA. I went back to a DA in a small rural town in North Carolina. The entire setup of my life was completely different. Wow. And I had a chance to remake and redefine who I was. So there wasn't any DAOists in North Carolina.

[00:10:36] I'll tell you that. But there are Buddhists. Yeah. And so I started going to Buddhist temples. And see, Buddhism is much more into meditation. Taoism is into Tai Chi and Kung Fu and moving meditations. But Buddhism is into mental meditation. So I started learning to meditate. And somewhere down the line, I discovered my...

[00:11:04] I guess you could say at some point in that process, I reconnected with my... Let's call it my authentic self. Let's call it the... If you're spiritual, I would go so far as to say my connection to the divine, my soul. If you're not spiritual, I would say my subconscious or my authentic self. Whatever it is, you know, that...

[00:11:31] Whatever it is that you always have a feeling is there because... It's like when you say... I'm sorry. It's a little hard to try to communicate it. But it's like when we say, I had a thought. Right? Right. There's a recognition in that sentence that I am not my thoughts. They're things that I have. Yeah.

[00:11:56] But we're not connected with the I of that sentence. Like who is the I that's having the thought? Because it's so covered up by the conditioning of loves and the traumas that we've had and all of the pains and sufferings. It's so covered up that it isn't touchable. Really.

[00:12:21] And through the process of meditation, I was able to reach through that conditioning and touch it again and reconnect to it. And when that happens, the only thing that you ever want to do is to share it with other people and see the breakthrough in their lives. Yeah. Yeah. That's all you want to do after that. Yeah.

[00:12:45] You know, as you were talking, you had said something that kind of really kind of put a light in my eyes. I'm currently reading and I've been reading this since last year is Change Your Paradigm, Change Your Life by Proctor. And I've been on repeat with this book for a while. Wow.

[00:13:11] And it has truly helped to change the way that I feel, the way that I think and my beliefs on a lot of things. And you said quite a few key things in which you were just speaking. But also, I want to ask you this because you've been known to explore different connections between different religions. Mm-hmm. And with your interfacing, how do you approach shaping your teachings?

[00:13:39] And I believe that's what you were trying to even speak in before when you were saying about that inner feeling that you feel. And I believe that's part of that paradigm because, you know, what we've taught or what we don't know how to truly express how we feel.

[00:13:55] But once we really tap into who we are and how we are so comfortable in the being and the self of who we are, we want to share that with everyone else because we want them to get there. I always say I'm on the spiritual high.

[00:14:14] And, you know, that's the very thing, very reason why I, you know, created the season of self-love is to bring, you know, amazing guests like you that have been courageous to step into that, to find that connection with God. You know, because we all have God within us.

[00:14:33] But if people are not willing to go to that level to open up, to find that God, I don't want to say find because God is always in us, but to connect and embrace that God within us, they will not be able to feel it. So I understand what you mean when you say that, that connection. Right, right. How can you approach and shaping and teaching that to others? Yeah, yeah. Good. That's a great question.

[00:15:04] So you have to, you can't, you can't explain it to anybody. They just look at you like you're weird. I mean, I'll share with you something that I very rarely share. Certainly, I don't think I've ever shared it publicly like this.

[00:15:27] But so part of the training that I went to to become a meditation teacher was two years of very intense training, including several, three per year, week long silent retreats.

[00:15:45] And in these silent retreats, there is a meditation that we do called a body scan, where you bring your attention to your toe and then all of your toes and then the arch of your foot. And you just bring your attention and scan your entire body. It takes about 45 minutes.

[00:16:04] And then one of the things that we do is we imagine breathing into our entire body and out through our skin and then in through our skin and then out through our mouth. It's just a visualization. And one day when I was laying there, kind of like in the yoga position of Shavasana and I was breathing into my body.

[00:16:29] All of a sudden, I felt a great emptiness in my body and it was filled by something that I can only explain and describe as an intelligence. But it wasn't me. And I no longer have an issue with faith because you have an experience like that.

[00:16:55] You know that there is an intelligence that's outside of you. What it looks like, how it works, you know, that's way above my pay grade. But I know that it's there. So how do you get somebody else to get it? To understand that. Oh, my God. You know what?

[00:17:20] So in the teaching of meditation, if I can tell you a couple of the metaphors that I use to help people kind of wrap their head around it. Okay. So most of the time, remember, I was just saying that I had a thought. Most of us are living in our thoughts. We have this default blah, blah, blah, blah that's going on all the time.

[00:17:48] Some of it's very judgmental. Some of it's very self-judgmental. Other is just factual. Like, you know, did I leave the stove on or have I fed my dogs or, you know, but it's just blah, blah, blah going on. And we're in it. And it's kind of like a fish doesn't know that it's in water because that's the environment that it lives in. It's just our normal being way we are.

[00:18:13] Now, when we're driving along and we're in that default section, but a car gets a little too close to us, all of a sudden our attention takes over. We pay attention then. And it's funny how when we do that, all that blah, blah, blah just stops for a moment because we're paying attention.

[00:18:36] So in meditation, we look at, we get familiar with these two states, that default state and the state of paying attention. Not that one is any better than the other. They're just different. So when we're in our thoughts, if you can imagine, you know, a river and the flow of the river is like the stream of consciousness that we set, we are stream of consciousness. Yeah.

[00:19:05] And there are sticks and leaves on the river. So those might be our different thoughts. You know, and they come from up the river and then they're here for a while and then they go on down the river. And we are like riding on that stick. And if the river's calm right now, then our life is calm. But if the river is whitewater, then we're being jostled around by life and being thrown here and thrown there and we're nervous and anxious.

[00:19:33] And then we see the waterfall that's coming. And now we're getting really scared and fearful about what's coming in the future. And if we're on the stick and we're living in our thoughts, life's a roller coaster. And there's nothing wrong with that because we're fully engaging in life. But in meditation, we learn that there's another piece of us.

[00:19:59] There's a piece of us that's up on the riverbank watching us float down the river on the stick. So from the perspective of being on the stick, life is something to engage in and you feel joy and you feel happiness. You feel grief and you feel fear and you feel safety and you feel love and all of those things.

[00:20:26] And Lord knows we certainly want to feel an engaged life. But it is a little bit roller coaster-y. And so from this other place, sitting up on the bank and watching, it's very calm and stable. In that little exercise that I gave you before where I say, okay, so now you notice that you're wandering. Well, when you're wandering, you're on the leaf. Right.

[00:20:55] But when you notice that you wandered, you're up on the bank. And doing this little exercise, you get more and more familiar with the feeling of being on the leaf and the feeling of being on the bank. And you get to know and recognize and understand what being on the bank feels like. Yeah. And from the bank, you can start to reconnect.

[00:21:25] So you have to learn how to sit up on the bank and watch yourself on the leaf. And it's just a practice. It's just, you know, it's just doing it over and over and repeating it for maybe 10 minutes a day for a couple of weeks. And then when I, you know, with my students, they always write a log every day. And I get their log every single day. And I respond and give them feedback every single day.

[00:21:52] And inside of two weeks, I mean, I'll tell them about the bank and I'll tell them about the leaf and I'll tell them about all this. And they go, yeah, yeah, okay. Then they get it. Then all of a sudden they get what being up on the bank is like. And it's like their whole life breaks open. And when that happens, my heart just soars. I just love it. I get my life out of it. It's the most wonderful thing, you know. And they'll send me and they'll say something.

[00:22:21] And I just say, you know, thank you for letting me do what I love doing. That's beautiful. That's beautiful. Even when you talk about on that bank. When you talk about on that bank. And you talk about what meditation. I remember sharing with the listeners. Talking about when I do my visualization. Excuse me, I get tongue-tied. And sometimes I get so lost in it. When I'm doing it.

[00:22:50] And I don't want to come out of it. Sometimes, you know, I truly don't. And like I have my own. I have a room in my home that this is my meditation room. I call it my golden rose room. This is where I go in peace. Now, myself, me and my husband. When we, or even my daughter. When we want to talk. Have a nice conversation. We will go in there. Because that's a room of peace. Like literally, that's all that it is. So when we go in there. A sacred place.

[00:23:20] And just the energy around it. It just makes it to where. Even before you begin to speak. It's like a calming. You know, the moment. My husband said. He'll be like. You know, some bills have to be paid. And as soon as he walk in. And he sit down. And he said. Oh my God, baby. This is just so peaceful. And I said. Okay. So what do you want to talk about? He was like. You know, baby. I don't even know. I don't remember.

[00:23:49] Let's talk about something else. And he gets to talking about something else. I totally. Like forget what it is. That he. Like he's talking about. And it's like. And what I'm saying with the bank. Is because. It's like you're building the energy. Energy in that space. Around. So the time that I'm. Doing a meditation. And doing a visualization. Is building the energy. In those spaces. You know, when you're doing them. So even when I go in there at times.

[00:24:19] And you're talking about watching yourself. Doing these things. At times I watch myself. In real time. I see myself. And I watch myself. I remember talking to a friend of mine. And I say. At times. I'm in real time. And I can see. Myself in three versions of myself. I can see the old version. My new version. And my present self. And it is like a. It's a spiritual high. That I don't. It just.

[00:24:47] It put tears in my eyes. Because it's an amazing experience. Experience. Like you had said about. You know. When you were doing the scanning. Of the. Of your body. And it's like. Someone is. It drops out. And you feel. Like something that comes into you. And it's like something. Just so powerful. And just like. What is that? I know it's not me. When you said it. I felt it. Because I felt that. I know. Exactly.

[00:25:17] What that is. And it's like. Okay. Now how do I. How do I get. Everybody else. Get this. Yeah. But you know. That you know. The Dalai Lama. Was once asked a question. About how hard. Is change. Change. And his answer. Was. Oh change. It's not hard at all. It's very easy. It happens in just a moment. There's no effort at all in it.

[00:25:47] One moment you're this. And the next moment you're that. There's nothing to it. He said. Ah but. Preparation for change. This can take years. And it is. It is. I mean. When that feeling came into you. It didn't come into you. Because all of a sudden. You thought. Oh gee. I would like to have a great intelligence. Enter my body. It was. Years and years. Of trauma.

[00:26:16] And dealing. And working. And resolving. And. And. And. Whittling away. You know. And. And all of the sadness. That you know. Life gives anybody. Yeah. And the conditioning. And then all of a sudden. You know. It happened in a moment. And when it happened. There was no effort. It was just. It just happened. It just happened. In a second. But preparing for it. That's it. That's it.

[00:26:47] And. And all that is. Is about living life intentionally. Yes. That's how the. That's the preparation. Yes. You could do it by jogging. I mean. If you go out. And you jog. And you know. You're alone with yourself. If it's. Crossword puzzles. That you like. But whatever it is. Whatever brings you joy. To intentionally. Say to yourself. That I. I am a human being. I have a seat at the table. Of humanity.

[00:27:16] And I deserve joy. Yes. I deserve happiness in my life. And I am going to go out. And find. Those things. That. Will give that to me. You know. The. Of course. The. The trap in that. Is that the world tells you. You know. Riches will make you happy. And power will make you happy. And this will make you happy. And they're all false messages. Yeah. So you have to. You have to.

[00:27:45] You have to stop and think. What is it truly. That will give me happiness. Yeah. You know. When you. When you say that. It's like. When my life has been. So transformative. Through. My whole life. And this is probably the most. Fulfilling. And happiest. That I've ever been. Sweet. And I don't have a lot of money. It's just knowing. I say this.

[00:28:14] I am probably the most wealthiest. That I've ever been. I understand. I'm so wealthy in abundance. And it's just like. What I say. It's like. I feel so just. Full. Full. You know. Full. And. This is my. This is my happy. This is my peace. It's funny. When I have conversations. With people. With just regular everyday people.

[00:28:44] Those conversations. Are so different now. I don't have the same language. Or the same tone. When I speak. And they look at me. Kind of differently. Like huh. And even people that. Used to speak to me before. Like family members. Even old friends. And like. We can't have those same conversations. Because. I'm no longer thinking. Of those things anymore. Whether they're negative. Messy. It's just. They just. I'm just. I'm not there.

[00:29:15] Any. Anymore. More. And it's like. At times. I want. I want you to come over here. And think over here. Because a lot of the things that. You all are thinking about. Is irrelevant. To life. Period. That's. That's what I think is. Is. Is so. Irrelevant. It's like. We make things. So much harder. Than what it really. Is. Although. You know. The people around us. When we change. The people around us. So often.

[00:29:45] Are more comfortable. With the person. That they knew. Yeah. And. We have to. Develop. A certain bravery. In resisting. The forces. That. Seem to want. To bring us. Back to who we were. Yeah. You know. It. It. It's like. Stepping out. On to a new. A new. Platform. And it's. It's a little shaky at first. Yeah. You know.

[00:30:15] Until. Until it stabilizes. Kind of like. Yeah. I know. I get it. I get what you say. It's beautiful. Yeah. Yeah. It is. You know. I thank you. I thank you for coming on this platform. Like. I thank you for sharing. You know. Your story. In everything. That you. You. Have to give. In your wisdom. But before we go. Can you tell my listeners.

[00:30:44] Where can they find. More about you. And your work. In your upcoming book. Well. I. I've written. A little. E-book. If you're more interested. In meditation. It's called. It's meditation for me. What it is. What it's not. How to do it. And how to get started. Little 40 page. Quick read. It's. Freely downloadable. There's no obligation. I guess I wrote it. Because everybody. Always asks me those questions. And so.

[00:31:14] I said. Well. Let me just write it. So you can go to my website. And my website is. A wise and happy life dot com. A wise and happy life dot com. All one word. And. There's a little button there. It says. Free e-book download. You just press that. And. And you can download that book. And there's more about me. And there's some resources there. And. I've written two books. That have been published. And you can find out about the books there. And.

[00:31:45] I write some poetry. And you can read my poetry. And. Find out. All about it. And if you want to get in touch with me. There's a contact button. And you can send me. An email. And I will get back in touch with your listener. I'll. Send back an email. And maybe we could have a chat. Beautiful. Beautiful. Again. Thank you Bob. And to our listeners. I hope today's episode. Inspire you to reflect on your own. New beginnings. But until then. Next time. Take care of yourselves.

[00:32:15] And embrace the new beginnings. All right. Have an amazing day. Thank you for joining us on this journey. Of discovering and empowerment. Here at the Season of Self Love podcast. Remember. Embracing self love is a continuous journey. And we're so glad to have you with us. So if you enjoyed today's episode. Please leave us a review. And don't forget to join our community on Facebook. At Season of Self Love. Connect with like-minded individuals.

[00:32:44] Who are also on their self love journey. Now if you have any questions or topics. That you would like for us to explore. We love to hear from you. Email us at seasonofselflove.com At gmail.com And let your voice be heard. So until next time. Take a moment for yourself. Today. And remember. You are worthy of love. Joy. And all the beautiful things. That life has to offer. Have a good one. And the life of love. We'll be right back.